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Designing Women S4 E18 - My Fair Vanessa

Updated: May 31, 2023

Obviously we’re in love with Anthony Bouvier, but this week, we’re having to share him with Vanessa. She’s fallen hard and she finds herself worried about her place in his life, especially as Lita re-appears. Fortunately, she’s got the Designing Women on her side - even if they’re a little distracted by the fashion choices of Mary Jo’s electrician.

We’ve got a new segment alert, Manners Moment with Mrs. Mayes, where we’ll talk a bit about restaurant etiquette (thanks to the ladies’ restaurant scene.)

And come back later this week, where Salina will bring us an Extra Sugar all about Southern women tropes.

Here are some of our sources for this week’s episode, if you want to do some digging of your own:

Come on y’all, let’s get into it!



Speaker A: Hey, Nikki.

Speaker B: Hey, Salina.

Speaker A: Let me tell you that I almost called you.

Speaker A: Alexa downstairs.

Speaker B: Can't decide.

Speaker A: Alexa.

Speaker B: If that says something about me or something about her, I think it says.

Speaker A: Something about.

Speaker B: So I'm thinking, like, if I'm close enough to your heart that you think of me as Alexa, because Alexa is like our right hand person.

Speaker B: You know what I mean?

Speaker B: Our right hand computer.

Speaker A: I think you're already overthinking it.

Speaker A: I think my brain is broken.

Speaker A: And I was going to see if you could switch on the lights.

Speaker A: I'm like, can you switch on switch on the lights to turn on some music?

Speaker B: Fair enough.

Speaker A: So, yeah, the only deep read is I need some sleep.

Speaker A: And so on that note, I thought today we've talked offline several times.

Speaker A: It was just a week.

Speaker A: It was just a week.

Speaker A: Y'all, I'm going to be honest with you.

Speaker A: Sometimes we got to get on here and we got to speak the truth.

Speaker A: I mean, I speak the truth all the time.

Speaker A: I think you speak the truth all the time.

Speaker B: But sometimes you got every time I come on here, I'm lying, she's lying.

Speaker A: No, but sometimes I just feel like you got to be honest about not honest.

Speaker B: Speak your heart, be authentic.

Speaker A: But not to get on here every time and be like picnics?

Speaker A: No, I'm tired.

Speaker A: Dog tired.

Speaker B: We just had a picnic.

Speaker B: And I'm also tired.

Speaker A: I am tired from the food.

Speaker A: It was good.

Speaker B: It was turkey.

Speaker A: That's right, you all, we had some smoked turkey.

Speaker A: It was wonderful.

Speaker B: Tryptophan.

Speaker A: Yeah, it's a real thing.

Speaker B: Maybe.

Speaker A: I don't know.

Speaker A: So what I was going to say is, in thinking about coming off of our recording day, I've been thinking, like, what can I do to just relax.

Speaker B: For a little bit?

Speaker A: Because I feel like for at least the last five weeks, I've been in just a dead heat, just rushing around.

Speaker A: And so I was, like, trying to figure out, what do I want to do to relax?

Speaker A: And so I thought to kick off today's, let's talk about what relaxes us.

Speaker A: Maybe I can get some good ideas from you.

Speaker A: No, maybe you can get some good ideas from me, maybe.

Speaker B: I don't think so.

Speaker A: I think relaxing is an art.

Speaker B: I think it really is.

Speaker B: I think it requires you to be okay not doing and just being.

Speaker B: And I think that is I don't know that I realized until the last maybe six months or so that I really struggle to just be instead of do.

Speaker B: I thought I was always sort of just staying ahead of things.

Speaker A: Like, this is just what you have to do.

Speaker B: But it's okay sometimes for you to just sit and be and not even have your phone in front of you, not even have the TV on, just sit and be and maybe read a book.

Speaker B: But otherwise I sat on the porch last night and just sat.

Speaker B: I just sat.

Speaker B: That's nice.

Speaker A: That's nice.

Speaker A: No book, no shield, no nothing.

Speaker A: Just you and the no.

Speaker B: I pulled my phone out toward the end because I realized my time was drawing close and I had to go put kids to bed.

Speaker B: So I pulled my phone out just to kind of check in on some things.

Speaker B: But yeah, I just kind of sat out there and just yesterday was nice, quiet.

Speaker A: Well, I'd say for the last six years or more, mindful has been like just a word that's a buzzword, and very much so.

Speaker A: More and more ingrained, I think, in the culture.

Speaker A: And I think the two are kind of similar.

Speaker A: And I do think if your to do list is long and you have a lot going on, it just sometimes feels like more difficult to get into the right head space or you feel.

Speaker B: Like you're going to take it on the other side.

Speaker B: Do you know what I mean?

Speaker B: If I don't do this thing now, I'm just going to have to do it later.

Speaker A: You literally just describe my every moment thought process.

Speaker A: I hate the creep of chores or whatever.

Speaker A: And it does feel like if you don't have the work list running your head and you got the home list or sometimes I'll catch myself, like I get really anxious as I'm waking up.

Speaker A: It's a special treat to wake up.

Speaker A: Some days I'll be like, and my parents are getting older, and I'm like, okay, pump the brakes.

Speaker B: I force myself in those moments to breathe deeply and remember that I'm still in my sleeping.

Speaker B: Feels like my safe space.

Speaker B: It feels like more or less the place no one needs anything from me.

Speaker A: The ultimate relaxation.

Speaker A: Exactly.

Speaker B: And so when I wake up first thing in the morning, I've been forcing myself the last couple of weeks to just lay there for maybe just a minute and just breathe really slowly and then kind of prioritize what I need to do.

Speaker A: See, you think you're not going to be able to give me any tips.

Speaker A: And you know what I do as soon as I wake up?

Speaker A: I drink a full glass of water very quickly, check a couple of things on my phone, go right in and just get started with the day immediately.

Speaker A: I don't take not 1 second.

Speaker A: I think some of it comes from fear of falling back asleep.

Speaker B: I'd say I don't worry about that.

Speaker B: The longer I'm awake, once I've committed to be awake, I'm awake because I will start thinking about things.

Speaker B: And once I've started thinking, like, there's no but.

Speaker B: I just don't like starting my day with that feeling that you're describing.

Speaker B: That feeling of like, oh my God, I only have 18 more hours before the day's over and I've got to do all these things.

Speaker B: So I've been forcing myself to slow down and breathe and think about what are the true priority things that have to get done today?

Speaker B: What's the thing that can get done tomorrow?

Speaker B: Try not to think about my parents getting older or my kids going off to school.

Speaker B: So I do think that helps start the day and literally can just be a minute.

Speaker A: Well, I do think about something that I've heard you say before and on the show but off of Mike as well.

Speaker A: But it's this idea of needing to get out of your house in order to relax.

Speaker B: Very true.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker A: Because it's like the dryer is calling or you're thinking about those three things that you put off or the fact that you found out this week that a woodpecker has pecked a hole into your chimney.

Speaker B: I think we're going to have that problem soon too.

Speaker A: Yeah, and we wouldn't have even noticed.

Speaker A: The neighbors told us.

Speaker B: Good.

Speaker A: So this part of the is fenced off.

Speaker A: We don't really ever have a reason to go in that side or we just go right out our back door.

Speaker A: And I try to be really cautious too.

Speaker A: Speaking of antirelaxing things of like going and looking for problems.

Speaker B: Sure.

Speaker A: I'm really careful about doing that.

Speaker A: But you know what?

Speaker A: You don't have to look for them.

Speaker B: They'll come find you.

Speaker B: They'll find you.

Speaker A: They'll find you.

Speaker A: I'd like to say that maybe what I wanted to share and just get your thoughts on this is like I think in my mind I'm like laying down on the couch and watching TV is relaxing.

Speaker A: But I don't know it is.

Speaker A: I think that is more like me in zombie mode and trying to figure out how to break out of that because that's almost more habitual at this point.

Speaker A: It's just a really tough exercise.

Speaker A: So I thought maybe we could talk about it.

Speaker A: I think that's true.

Speaker B: I think I've had afternoons where my kids will be with the grandparents or something and I'll think, well if I can just lay on the couch for 1 hour then I'll be fine.

Speaker B: Then that hour ends and I'm like one, I don't want to move and then two, now I'm thinking I just wasted a whole bunch of time.

Speaker B: I don't feel full.

Speaker B: I don't feel like my heart is full or anything.

Speaker B: So I will say I love going for a walk.

Speaker B: Like if it's an afternoon where my kids still do like a little bit of a quiet time in their room.

Speaker B: So my husband's always like just go for a walk, leave the house, go walk for an hour.

Speaker B: When I come back I feel like I just did something for me.

Speaker B: I feel like I just took some time to myself.

Speaker B: Whether it's listening to a podcast I love or just sometimes I've started walking just with nothing, which is wild.

Speaker B: No sound or anything.

Speaker B: Just hearing nature very relaxing.

Speaker B: It's very nice.

Speaker B: But I also really love I have a hammock.

Speaker B: I haven't done this in like a year but I used to lay the hammock or set the hammock up downstairs in our backyard and lay out there with a book that is very relaxing to me because after an hour, I'm happy to stand up and move around.

Speaker B: I don't feel like that zombie mode you just described, unless, of course, it's a great book and I just don't want to put it down.

Speaker B: But I feel kind of rested.

Speaker B: I feel kind of like, okay, let's go do the next thing.

Speaker B: And then I love to take a bath.

Speaker B: I love a bath.

Speaker B: I force myself to do it, like, once a week, sometimes just on Thursday night.

Speaker B: It's a nice way to sort of start spiraling down toward the weekend.

Speaker B: Other times, this Thursday, I've been putting kids to bed and falling asleep putting them to bed.

Speaker B: This has been a problem for a while, but every couple of weeks, I can force myself to wake back up and go get in the bath or whatever.

Speaker B: But this week I fell asleep, and I didn't do it.

Speaker B: Either doing it then or doing it on Sunday afternoon.

Speaker B: I love to be fully bathed and ready to go by dinner time on Sunday evening, so I can just do nothing the rest of the day.

Speaker A: Nothingness is really the goal, I think.

Speaker B: Nothingness, but not in a passive way.

Speaker B: Nothingness in, like you said, zoning out to the TV, zoning out to my computer.

Speaker B: Like I want to just be yeah.

Speaker B: I don't know.

Speaker B: Relaxation is really challenging.

Speaker A: It is.

Speaker B: So I like to go on vacation and go to an all inclusive the other thing is going to, like, an all inclusive resort, because then you don't even have to think about dinner.

Speaker B: You don't have to think about food, you don't have to think about the next thing you're going to do.

Speaker B: It's all just there.

Speaker B: You just go from one place to the next.

Speaker A: The cruise was really relaxing.

Speaker A: I cannot argue that the most relaxed.

Speaker B: I think I've almost nearly ever been in my life was on a cruise ship.

Speaker B: I don't think I told this story here.

Speaker B: The cruise ship we were on had a glass roof over the pool, and they would retract it on really nice days.

Speaker B: All the other seats on the deck were taken that day except the seats that were under the glass roof that had been retracted because there wasn't a ton of airflow through there.

Speaker B: So I guess nobody wanted to sit there.

Speaker B: It was kind of a little bit greenhousey and hot.

Speaker B: I don't think I slept longer than 10 minutes that day.

Speaker B: I still think about the quality of that sleep, and that was, like, ten years ago.

Speaker B: I still think about that.

Speaker B: It was so relaxing.

Speaker B: That's nice.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker A: Spas.

Speaker A: That's a way to relax.

Speaker A: It's a little bit more expensive.

Speaker A: I'm sitting there like dollar signs are going through my head.

Speaker A: I'm like but I will say it's not like something I do a lot I've been, like, not even a handful of times in my life, but I did go ahead and do that as my special treat when we went on our anniversary trip.

Speaker A: This year.

Speaker A: No, last year.

Speaker A: And that is the most relaxed I have ever been.

Speaker A: And normally, massages don't really relax me that much.

Speaker A: Like, it's fine, but I always feel, like, a little uncomfortable.

Speaker A: I never fall asleep.

Speaker A: I was out like a light.

Speaker A: Maybe some of that's age.

Speaker A: That's nice.

Speaker B: I love to fall asleep getting a massage.

Speaker B: I'm embarrassed because I twitch as I'm falling asleep.

Speaker A: Same.

Speaker B: And so I have definitely twitched myself awake.

Speaker B: And it's embarrassing, but they know that's what they're there for.

Speaker B: They're trying to do that to you.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker A: I mean, it'd be more embarrassing if, like, a body part was exposed.

Speaker B: If you twist or you tooted or burnt.

Speaker A: I wouldn't even care about the burp, but if I had a little toot escape, I think I might crawl under the oh, my God.

Speaker A: Under the massage table.

Speaker B: It would be embarrassing.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker A: Even I don't care if it happens to anybody else.

Speaker B: It's just me.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker B: That is so embarrassing.

Speaker B: I've thought about that at the gynecologist before, like, how horrible that would be, right?

Speaker B: What a nightmare.

Speaker B: Oh, my God.

Speaker B: This is the opposite of relaxing conversation.

Speaker A: My bad.

Speaker A: My bad.

Speaker A: Well, I don't have a good transition, but do you want to go ahead and skip on down to talk about episode 18?

Speaker B: You want to know what was relaxed in episode 18?

Speaker A: I do, yes.

Speaker B: The electrician's waistband.

Speaker A: Oh, yeah.

Speaker B: So this is Designing Women season Four episode 18 anthony and Vanessa The designingwomenline net description is Anthony gets airheaded, vanessa a temporary job at Sugar Bakers, where Suzanne coaches her on techniques to win Anthony away from his pushy girlfriend Lita.

Speaker B: Meanwhile, Mary Joe and Charlene wonder why Rusty the electrician wears his pants so low, and Suzanne turns in Charlene's baby nurse to unsolved mysteries as a con artist and a counterfeiter air date.

Speaker B: February 5, 1990.

Speaker B: We're calling this one My Fair Vanessa.

Speaker B: It was written by LBT and directed by David Trainer.

Speaker A: That's the longest description I think I recall in our history.

Speaker B: It was very long, and I remember reading this maybe earlier this week and being struck by the fact that the electrician storyline was so prominent in this episode that it made it into the description.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: That's just crazy to me.

Speaker B: That was just a lot.

Speaker B: The other thing that I'll say before we even start talking is yeah.

Speaker B: Before we get into, like, general reactions and all that, I really tried to figure out when these episodes were recorded and aired because something is feeling weird to me about the chronology and the order.

Speaker B: And this may have been more relevant to episode 16, but I do think several of the episodes in this last little batch were recorded and aired differently than in the order in which they were recorded.

Speaker B: And I think it was this Unsolved Mystery storyline on this one.

Speaker B: It felt detached from the previous Unsolved Mysteries, so something just felt out of order to me.

Speaker B: But I wasn't able to find record dates on every single episode, so I don't know.

Speaker B: It was a partially formed thought.

Speaker A: Yeah, no, I think you're right, though.

Speaker B: Something definitely thank you.

Speaker A: That's a really good idea, actually.

Speaker A: But you're right, though.

Speaker A: I'm not sure I want to walk everybody through my mind process right now.

Speaker A: But I think when you did your Unsolved Mysteries thing, that would have been episode 15.

Speaker A: We're now on 18.

Speaker B: That's right.

Speaker A: And it's like backwards or something.

Speaker B: And I think some of it was done to accommodate Gene Smart's pregnancy, because I think where it all really started for me was trying to figure out how many episodes she actually got off to have her baby.

Speaker B: And I think I had started an exercise somewhere in my show notes, maybe for episode 16, but it might have even been 15.

Speaker B: I think I started trying to piece it together, but I couldn't find any reputable source that included the taping date for every single episode.

Speaker B: And then I would have had to BackWalk with what we actually saw of her in other episodes, and it became more than anyone listening to the show even cares, except to vaguely make the point that I just think this season more than season one, which we talked about ad nauseam in season one.

Speaker B: I think I think there was a lot of recording and airing out of order.

Speaker A: What an exercise that must be if you need to accommodate whatever's going on in a star's life and then suddenly you're trying to work it back.

Speaker A: It's like backing into the parking space.

Speaker B: Exactly.

Speaker A: Times ten.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker B: I mean, I think all the time.

Speaker B: What an incredible exercise to get these episodes written and recorded and aired all in like, a week or two weeks time.

Speaker A: I know.

Speaker B: Like, the exercise we're having right now, trying to bang these three episodes out after recording last weekend as well, it.

Speaker A: Really makes it feel lesser to them.

Speaker B: But this was also their full time job and there was a whole staff of people working on it.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker A: Where's our staff?

Speaker B: I thought you were hiring them.

Speaker A: Sometimes I hear about, like, maybe, oh, I'm still on that Southern Charm.

Speaker A: And one of the girls who's on it now is an influencer, and she was, like, talking about how hard it is, and she was like, I mean, my production assistant my this and my that.

Speaker A: And I was like, we're just a two person team over here.

Speaker B: Our producer Kyle, the other day suggested Southern Charm as a show for us to cover on here, because I watched it.

Speaker B: No, I was telling him about how we've been having this sort of off air conversation about what to do next.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: And we heard from a listener recently with some suggestions and food for thought.

Speaker B: And so I was telling Kyle about all that, and so he asked artificial intelligence what we should cover next.

Speaker B: And she brought back a list.

Speaker B: And so as you ask additional questions, it further streamlines the responses she's giving you.

Speaker B: So he was able to specify shows about the south, shows about with predominantly female leads and this, that, and the other made all these specifications.

Speaker B: And he said something like, have you guys considered this show Southern Charm?

Speaker B: Have you ever heard of that?

Speaker B: And I was like, oh, my God.

Speaker B: Salina's watching that right now.

Speaker B: I'm not sure I could watch it and the depth needed to talk about it.

Speaker A: It's more like I think it would be like, we watch the series and then we talk about it.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker B: Who our favorite characters were.

Speaker A: I know when you were able to catch up on eight seasons right on.

Speaker B: Top of that rose, I know it general reactions.

Speaker B: Can I ask you a question first?

Speaker A: Absolutely.

Speaker A: What are we doing?

Speaker B: We're on Designing Women's, season four, episode 18.

Speaker A: Got it.

Speaker B: We had a conversation in episode 13, and I think one of your pieces of feedback about that storyline was about Vanessa and some of what you felt like were some possibly layered stereotypes that they were putting on her character.

Speaker B: And some of them you were a little, I think, uncomfortable with or some you weren't quite sure what you thought.

Speaker B: Something was bristling for you.

Speaker B: So I was curious.

Speaker B: I know you had seen this episode before you saw that one, but on your most recent rewatch of this episode, did any of that change for you or did it make you even more uncomfortable?

Speaker A: This morning, I watched it again in preparation for today because I watched this batch of episodes quite a bit ago and I really needed a refresh.

Speaker A: And actually, one of the things that I thought while I was watching it again, just cute as I think she is and as much as I like her just because I think probably the actor in real life is very charming.

Speaker A: I think what she's able to do with this character is pretty impressive, given that it's not I mean, I don't know.

Speaker A: It's the best written character, to be honest.

Speaker A: I was wondering if she was wondering if she was delivering some of these lines, what an actor thinks.

Speaker A: Did she feel good about?

Speaker A: Was she like, oh, wonderful?

Speaker A: I think that's how some of it was landing for me a little bit, especially the ones where this episode is trying to, in some ways, make the point.

Speaker A: Vanessa is very smart.

Speaker A: There are different types of intelligence.

Speaker A: Right.

Speaker A: They're not all the same.

Speaker A: I think we encounter that a lot with Suzanne because a lot of times she seems like maybe she's not quite as intelligent as someone like Julia, but she'll say the most astute thing on the entire show.

Speaker A: Right.

Speaker A: And in this case, they did it with, like, the handyman example and the tools dragging down the pants and oh, we never thought of that before, so I get that.

Speaker A: But a lot of times, they are having her say these things that are, like, I don't know if it's, like, airheaded, maybe, and just, like, ignorant.

Speaker A: And after she says, like, the 12th thing, I wonder if she's like, okay, I think I'm just used to it now.

Speaker A: But I definitely was thinking if she was, like, so glad I took this role.

Speaker B: Yeah, there were definitely some lines that I thought were kind of silly, I feel like and I mentioned this when you brought it up in episode 13 that I feel like they were just trying really hard in a short period of time to make a very distinct distinction between lita and Vanessa.

Speaker A: I thought that was a great observation.

Speaker B: And so I think they just went as far as they could, so it just gets you right in the face.

Speaker B: So it didn't bother me that much.

Speaker B: Is there anything else you want to say about the stereotypes?

Speaker A: Well, I wanted to say one thing that just, like, because I don't have a lot of general reactions, so this is one of mine, and it kind of feeds into this conversation.

Speaker A: I think it was also the reaction towards the beginning to her was just like I was just annoyed with the characters that we're supposed to love.

Speaker A: I get that Vanessa is not exactly coming off like a Grace Kelly type, but it just felt like they were aggressively rude in a couple of situations in this episode.

Speaker A: Yes.

Speaker A: Okay, so Julia asking if she knew the months of the year.

Speaker A: Do you even know the months of the year?

Speaker A: But then they gave her, like and that's what I was somehow about.

Speaker A: Some of these lines just being, like, terrible, where she said the thing about February, like February.

Speaker A: I know a lot of people get that one wrong, and I'm like, what?

Speaker A: Okay.

Speaker A: And then Suzanne commenting on her clothes.

Speaker A: Like, I get it wasn't the most work appropriate outfit, but you guys also work in the house, so calm down.

Speaker B: It's different these days, isn't it?

Speaker B: We all work in the house.

Speaker B: Salina is barely dressed.

Speaker A: If I ever get pants on, it's a really stand up Wednesday.

Speaker A: You know what I'm saying?

Speaker B: That's an interesting point.

Speaker B: I don't think I processed it that way because I was processing their reaction through the lens of Anthony being frustrated with her.

Speaker B: But I think that's actually out of order if I think about it.

Speaker B: So I think I was giving them a pass, maybe unfairly.

Speaker B: Do you have a favorite girlfriend, lita or Vanessa?

Speaker A: Yeah, Vanessa.

Speaker B: Okay, good.

Speaker B: We can keep talking.

Speaker A: Well, thank goodness she's still better than Lita.

Speaker B: She's still better.

Speaker A: I mean, I genuinely like her.

Speaker A: I really do.

Speaker A: I just feel like she was underserved in the writing a little bit.

Speaker B: Do you have you ready for strace?

Speaker A: Well, I have one more general.

Speaker A: Okay.

Speaker A: So I just wanted to say, in general, I'm a sucker for any makeover plot, and the one thing I really wish we had gotten was some kind of montage with Suzanne and Vanessa shopping and whatever lessons Suzanne gave her to walk and talk the way she did at the end of the episode.

Speaker A: I wanted to see that.

Speaker A: And actually, that's not a device the show really uses, is the montage.

Speaker A: I love a montage.

Speaker A: What's it though?

Speaker B: I think it's for the best.

Speaker B: A montage feels it would have felt perfectly in its place in 1990, though.

Speaker B: It always feels very dated to me, montages.

Speaker A: Oh, I love montages.

Speaker A: When used appropriately, they really sing.

Speaker A: Yeah, I don't think about that as a dated thing at all.

Speaker B: I imagine, like, the there's one in Clueless, and it's just a very oh.

Speaker A: Where they're making her over there's, like.

Speaker B: A series of and I think we saw obviously, I think we saw one in Pretty Woman.

Speaker B: It just feels like one that just is of a certain era in time.

Speaker A: I mean, it is definitely a device that's still used today.

Speaker A: And maybe that's why I wanted a montage so much is because you just named two makeover scenes.

Speaker B: You know what's funny?

Speaker B: And I was going to that probably.

Speaker A: Was a montage, too.

Speaker A: It's been too long since I've seen it.

Speaker A: I was going to save this for.

Speaker B: Later for my likes.

Speaker B: But because you're bringing up her appearance, one of the things actually that I liked about this episode was that it wasn't really solely about her appearance, that Anthony was on the fence about her.

Speaker B: So the women took it upon themselves to change her appearance a little bit.

Speaker B: But one of the things I hate about this, sort of like that's a perfect example how they just pull her hair out of a ponytail and she's gorgeous, and you're like, right, you're right.

Speaker B: And they took the paint splattered overalls off as well.

Speaker B: But I hate that approach where it's just like, you take a beautiful girl, make her ugly I'm putting that in quotes.

Speaker B: And then make her unugly and putting that in quotes.

Speaker B: So I really appreciated that Anthony was on the fence about much bigger issues.

Speaker B: He was on the fence about this entire life crisis he's having, which is where do I want to fit in life, and what kind of person do I want to be?

Speaker B: I know I don't want to be the person I used to be.

Speaker B: So who is this person I want to be now?

Speaker B: Does Vanessa help?

Speaker B: That hurt that?

Speaker B: What about Lita help?

Speaker B: That hurt that.

Speaker B: And I appreciated that it was so much more than just the way she looks.

Speaker B: The women made it about that, but that wasn't what it was about for Anthony.

Speaker A: Well, it's like the looks and the demeanor.

Speaker A: They wanted to change all of that, or Suzanne did, because, I mean, like, Suzanne wanted to make a mini me.

Speaker A: She likes doing that.

Speaker B: She likes doing that.

Speaker A: I have to say, while we're talking about them changing her appearance the way that they did her hair when she came in, I thought she was, like, in a powdered wig.

Speaker A: I didn't understand that at all.

Speaker A: I was like, was it ager?

Speaker A: It looked like gray, which I get had its trends more recent years, but in 90, I don't think that was the case.

Speaker A: And it might have just been the light wasn't very good, but I thought it was interesting.

Speaker A: And the way it was slick back, it kind of put me in the mind of, like, olive oil.

Speaker B: It just looked like a rich woman.

Speaker B: It just looked like a rich woman going a rich woman going to the business place.

Speaker B: You know what I mean?

Speaker B: I'm going to hold a briefcase and go to the business place and do businessy things receptacle or whatever.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker B: That's what it reminded me of.

Speaker B: That's funny.

Speaker B: In Strays, I wanted to mention that just before Julia cut off the conversation about plumbers crack, which is what I'm calling it, they never actually used that term for reasons I'll get into later.

Speaker B: But before she cut off that line of conversation because it was just not enjoyable to her, there were a couple of cut lines about how it never really happens to executives, only businessmen, I mean, only blue collar men.

Speaker B: Now I've got businesswoman in the workplace.

Speaker B: But they basically said, like, how does that never happen to a man trying to wear a suit?

Speaker B: It's only these guys working in jobs, like electrician or whatever.

Speaker B: Which I just thought was I think there was an interesting I think this entire episode was layered in some kind of class discussion.

Speaker B: And I started on this line maybe in the last episode, but I want to put a finer point on it.

Speaker B: I want to talk about whether we have any theories of why they started with Mrs.

Speaker B: Philpott, who is the nanny to go to Constance Pine, the other nanny, who's, like, in high demand just to return to Mrs.

Speaker B: Philpott.

Speaker B: And especially because they didn't use the Unsolved Mysteries thing with Suzanne as a reason for her leaving, because Unsolved Mysteries was brought up two episodes ago when we first met Mrs.

Speaker B: Philpott.

Speaker B: So Mrs.

Speaker B: Philpott didn't just say, like, your coworkers are crazy.

Speaker B: I'm not hanging around.

Speaker B: So I don't understand that.

Speaker B: I do understand that they wanted Charlene to have that funny interaction with Miss Pine between Suzanne and Ms.

Speaker B: Pine and then Charlene and Ms.

Speaker B: Pine.

Speaker B: But they could have just done that with Mrs.

Speaker B: Philpott.

Speaker B: Why?

Speaker A: Yeah, so you kind of blew my mind a little bit with, like, you're always blowing my mind every time you tell me that the episodes are every time it gets me every.

Speaker B: Time, brand new information.

Speaker A: Because sometimes when stuff like that happens, I think my thought is like, oh, I guess they lost her to another job.

Speaker A: Had to bring back in the other lady.

Speaker B: That might be true.

Speaker A: I think I had had, like, a very brief passing thought about that.

Speaker A: And then today, watching them again, it definitely did strike a chord with me.

Speaker A: I was like, oh, we're back to her again.

Speaker B: It's very confusing.

Speaker B: It's hard to keep their names straight.

Speaker B: And I think honestly, I think the only reason I really realized what was happening is because I was trying to look up the guest the guest stars, and then I was like, oh, wait, this is the same lady from two episodes ago.

Speaker B: What's happening?

Speaker B: Why are we doing the stars off.

Speaker A: To film The Goonies?

Speaker B: Maybe?

Speaker A: Whichever movie she did.

Speaker A: I'm trying I'm trying to remember.

Speaker B: There was also a cut line.

Speaker B: After Vanessa mentioned her switchblade, she and Suzanne found a little common ground.

Speaker B: Yeah, Suzanne asked to see the knife because, quote, I'm interested in weaponry.

Speaker B: I have a gun myself.

Speaker A: Did she take her gun out and put it on the table?

Speaker B: Because that's I don't know, for whatever reason.

Speaker A: So I pulled the line.

Speaker A: I have a gun myself.

Speaker A: I got it from a toll free number on TV.

Speaker A: I do it all the time.

Speaker A: And if you keep it moving, you don't have to pay for it.

Speaker A: Really?

Speaker A: That's interesting.

Speaker A: Look at their rhinestone handle.

Speaker B: Oh, gosh.

Speaker B: She must have pulled it out, which.

Speaker A: Might be why they cut that.

Speaker A: Maybe it's too aggressive for now tasteful.

Speaker A: Yeah, because that's exactly what my I was just questioning.

Speaker A: Did she have her gun pulled at the table and she's worried about the.

Speaker B: Woman flossing flossing her teeth, which maybe would have made it even funnier, probably because that woman flossing her teeth was kind of random.

Speaker A: I don't know what you'll talk about.

Speaker A: Maybe it's like saying it without saying it.

Speaker A: I see what you saying.

Speaker A: Everyone is so upset about that flossing, and I wanted to know.

Speaker A: I'm sorry.

Speaker A: I know this is kind of off the cuff.

Speaker A: I can fill for time if you need me to, but do you have, like, a weirdest in restaurant experience or the weirdest thing you've seen or anything in that realm?

Speaker B: Oh, gosh, not off the top of my head.

Speaker B: And actually, I would imagine you have much funnier in restaurant stories than I.

Speaker A: Do, so I mean, it does feel like a little bit like shooting fish in a barrel because I worked in a restaurant for like, seven years.

Speaker B: It's going to be some awkwardness that happens there.

Speaker A: You just see, like, a lot of weird things over the years, and people.

Speaker B: Probably desensitize to it.

Speaker A: People are weird.

Speaker B: People are weird.

Speaker A: I think you've probably heard these stories before, so I apologize.

Speaker A: But my top two, like the ones, and I don't know for sure that these are the weirdest things that happen to me, but they're the ones that stay up here in the top of my head for whatever reason.

Speaker A: One is like, I had an eight top, so eight people of all breastfeeding women, and they were, like, all breastfeeding at the exact same time.

Speaker B: Oh, wow.

Speaker A: And it was just a very weird.

Speaker B: Thing to maybe it was a competition.

Speaker B: They're trying to see who could finish first.

Speaker A: I want to be very clear.

Speaker A: I have no problem with breastfeeding.

Speaker B: It's just like, eight is a lot all at one time.

Speaker A: And I'm 19, so everything that has to do with motherhood, I'm like, this is scary.

Speaker A: This is scaring me.

Speaker B: And not to make us sound old, but if you were 19, that was kind of a long time ago.

Speaker B: And seeing a woman breastfeed in a restaurant in the United States is not it would have been a thing of recent years that that's become a lot more accepted, especially maybe especially in the south.

Speaker B: I don't know that I should say especially in south, but it feels like we were a little slower to adopt than other places.

Speaker A: Well, and they put me on the table because I thought that it would be funny to do that to me.

Speaker B: Meanwhile, you started sweating.

Speaker A: Show me babish after coming off of one of our previous episodes.

Speaker A: I was like, well, maybe they're all with La leche.

Speaker B: Maybe it was a La leche Club meeting.

Speaker A: It was.

Speaker A: I didn't even know.

Speaker B: Oh, dang.

Speaker B: You could have got in on the ground floor.

Speaker A: The other one that was the weirdest was I had a guy come in.

Speaker A: I want you to picture we're going to go back and this is also so folks who are fans of Designing Women don't just listen to us because we're so excellent.

Speaker A: Going back to the Mary Joe High School reunion.

Speaker A: Howard the Dud episode, I want you to picture him.

Speaker B: Can you remember what he looked I can.

Speaker A: Okay, so a client.

Speaker B: Client.

Speaker B: Oh, my.

Speaker A: I'm getting there.

Speaker A: That's why I think a client came to mind.

Speaker A: Just hold on.

Speaker A: There was a guy who came in.

Speaker A: They sat him with me.

Speaker A: He came in with two women, beautiful women flanking him, like, where he had them in the crooks of his elbow coming in.

Speaker A: And then they sat at the table, and when I came over to get their drink order, he said, you give them whatever they want, because they've done things for me that no one ever has.

Speaker A: And I was like, I mean, is it your taxes?

Speaker A: I was like a simple, like, whatever they want would have sufficed.

Speaker A: Like, I didn't need all of that information.

Speaker A: And the second thing that hit me as I was in this mid level steakhouse is like, if they've done those kinds of things for you, maybe get them more than a sirloin and the bottom shelf margarita.

Speaker A: You know what I'm saying?

Speaker A: Like, maybe take them up to Midtown.

Speaker A: I don't know.

Speaker A: So that was my two weirdest add.

Speaker B: A couple of strays.

Speaker B: But it feels weird not to segment not to transition to a new segment that I want to propose.

Speaker B: Salina, I would love to propose a segment called Manners Moment with Mrs.

Speaker B: Mays.

Speaker B: Is that okay?

Speaker A: I would love to be a part of that.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker B: Hold on.

Speaker A: Hold, please.

Speaker B: Welcome to your manners moment with Mrs.

Speaker B: Maze.

Speaker B: Did you like that audio quality?

Speaker B: The all audio quality brought to you by me recording it really quickly in my closet through my earbuds.

Speaker A: I love it.

Speaker A: It's like, in between meetings, you're, like, also using the bathroom so you can say it wasn't wasted.

Speaker B: Pretty much not far from I actually.

Speaker A: Really like the music, though.

Speaker B: That is nice.

Speaker A: Right?

Speaker A: It's right in my wheelhouse.

Speaker B: That's nice.

Speaker B: So the whole My Fair Lady vibe of this episode paired with the scene of the ladies in the restaurant got me in the frame of mind of etiquette, particularly restaurant etiquette.

Speaker B: So while you're touching on restaurants and, like, just the crazy things people do in restaurants, I thought maybe it would make sense to talk about a couple of things that are and are not considered good restaurant etiquette.

Speaker A: Okay.

Speaker B: I think in a lot of ways, etiquette is kind of irrelevant to a lot of us, especially those of us that don't live in high society.

Speaker B: And if you're not eating at really high society type restaurants, some of these things are kind of obscure, and so it becomes a little hard to tell.

Speaker A: Is this still a rule?

Speaker B: Like, are we still supposed to be doing these things?

Speaker B: Sure.

Speaker B: So what I thought I would do is talk about a couple that are still relevant wherever you're eating and then talk about a couple that are particularly relevant if you're in a fancy place.

Speaker A: Okay.

Speaker B: And etiquette experts I want to say this at the top typically advise that you scale your etiquette to the formality of the restaurant.

Speaker B: So, again, there are some current manners type rules you should keep in mind, even if you're like Mellow mushroom.

Speaker A: Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker B: But there are some that are a.

Speaker A: Lot more did you get any conflicting reports?

Speaker A: Okay.

Speaker B: Yes, ma'am.

Speaker A: Perfect.

Speaker B: And I think I noted where they were.

Speaker A: More and less blankets.

Speaker B: Got it.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker B: So here are five etiquette rules and distinctions for each, depending on whether you're in a formal restaurant or a casual restaurant.

Speaker B: So never lift your menu off the table.

Speaker A: Have you heard this?

Speaker B: It's supposed to kind of touch the table.

Speaker B: So apparently this one is not relevant if you're in, say, like, a mellow mushroom or, like, a I don't know that everybody knows what that is.

Speaker B: Like a chili's.

Speaker B: But if you're a sorry.

Speaker A: Mellow mushroom and chili's mellow mushroom casual dining.

Speaker B: That's correct.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: Sorry.

Speaker B: Yeah, that's what I meant.

Speaker B: I don't mean anything bad about that.

Speaker B: I eat at those restaurants.

Speaker B: You just wouldn't know.

Speaker B: My Mexican restaurant down the street, which is really where I go most of the time, is if I go out.

Speaker A: I think it was the pentameter with the chip.

Speaker B: Sorry, I meant or like a chili's.

Speaker A: Yeah, or an applebee.

Speaker A: Our favorite restaurant.

Speaker A: Or an I call us Chili's.

Speaker A: Cheesecake Factory.

Speaker A: Sorry.

Speaker A: Cheesecake Factory is kind of fancy.

Speaker A: It's a little fancy of that caliber restaurant.

Speaker A: What do you mean by that caliber restaurant?

Speaker A: They can't see my hand motions.

Speaker A: Why are you bringing that into this anywho?

Speaker B: Apparently, if you're at a fine dining restaurant, your menu should always touch the table, even if you have trouble seeing.

Speaker B: I guess you're supposed to just sort of lean closer to it or something.

Speaker A: Just like the tip.

Speaker B: And you have a birthday dinner coming up soon.

Speaker B: Some of these tips might be helpful.

Speaker A: For you need to keep it, depending.

Speaker B: On where you're going.

Speaker A: Did I tell you?

Speaker B: Did you end up making a reservation?

Speaker A: Feels relevant to the conversation.

Speaker A: Commander's palace.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker B: Going off your keep your menu on the table.

Speaker B: That is a menu on the table kind of place.

Speaker A: But I did accidentally make a disgusting joke.

Speaker A: But I meant, like, yes, it doesn't have to be flat.

Speaker B: That's correct.

Speaker A: Okay, then it feels like I'd be, like, all yeah.

Speaker B: And it's, like touching your plate and stuff, which also feels like bad manners.

Speaker A: I've never thought about it before.

Speaker A: I don't know.

Speaker A: I don't know that I'm ever picking it up in midair or anything.

Speaker A: I've had to think about that.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Speaker B: I don't know.

Speaker A: Never been more embarrassed in my life.

Speaker B: Turning off cell phones at the table.

Speaker B: So this is where we get into some conflicting things.

Speaker B: According to some, though, in a casual dining restaurant, this is an outdated etiquette rule that you can just disregard.

Speaker B: I argue, though, I think you should not just have your phone out sitting on a table and then take a phone call whether you're at Chili's or the Commander's Palace doesn't make sense to me.

Speaker B: I also found something where etiquette experts just generally say, like, if you are sitting at a table to eat a meal, you shouldn't have anything unrelated to that meal on the table, which would include, obviously, a cell phone or your purse.

Speaker B: Just only crap sitting on the table.

Speaker B: Yeah, put that in your bucket.

Speaker A: Actually, I think what I'm really picking up on is just someone calling you in the first place is what makes you angry.

Speaker B: Why would you do that, and why would you do it at mealtime?

Speaker B: Utensils.

Speaker B: You mentioned this, maybe in the last episode, that utensils are notoriously confusing.

Speaker B: Just all the things in the Victorian era, and whatnot apparently confusing table settings are also super outdated at restaurants.

Speaker B: Typically, when you sit down, whether you're at a fine dining or dining at a more casual type restaurant, you will today find only the silverware you're going to need for your specific meal.

Speaker B: That said, one etiquette rule that I found that is relevant, that is still relevant if you're in a fancy restaurant or an oyster restaurant, apparently, is that if you don't have an oyster fork and you order oysters and then they don't bring you an oyster fork.

Speaker B: So if you end up getting your oysters with no fork, don't ask for one, for the love of all things holy, because apparently that would be construed as very rude.

Speaker B: Because the reason they didn't bring you an oyster fork is because you don't need one.

Speaker B: They've already done the work for you to separate the oysters from the shell.

Speaker A: Do you use a separate type of fork for your oysters at home?

Speaker B: I don't eat oysters at home.

Speaker B: That won't be a problem for me.

Speaker B: But apparently in a restaurant don't do that.

Speaker A: All right.

Speaker A: I don't eat oysters anymore.

Speaker B: Yeah, solved.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker B: Irrelevant to you waiting until everyone is served before you start eating.

Speaker B: According to the sources I found, this one is really only relevant in fine dining restaurants or if you're eating in a formal environment, like if you're on a lunch with Job Coworkers or if you're doing an interview or something.

Speaker B: I totally disagree with this one.

Speaker B: I think it is so rude to start eating with the exception of today's lunch, which I did start eating before you sat down.

Speaker A: I don't count.

Speaker B: You do count, but we're at home and you were working on your plate, and I don't have a good reason for why I started eating early.

Speaker A: We were blocked.

Speaker A: There's like a picnic basket.

Speaker B: Generally speaking, I will not start eating before someone else does.

Speaker A: Same.

Speaker A: I'm really weird about it.

Speaker A: I don't care the other way.

Speaker A: I don't care what you do.

Speaker A: You do you.

Speaker A: But me.

Speaker A: Yeah, I know.

Speaker A: There are times like we'll be out and I just have to which to me it feels southern because it is kind of like I can't so when.

Speaker B: I was in the sorority, if you ate dinner at the house, there was a strict set of etiquette rules and just like rules of eating there that you had to follow.

Speaker B: And one of them was that you could not eat until everyone was seated at the table with their food ready to eat.

Speaker B: And for whatever reason, that is one that has just stuck with me forever.

Speaker B: I just can't do it.

Speaker A: Can I bring up a European one while we're on the plates?

Speaker B: I was trying to make a European joke, but yeah, I couldn't come up with something about European, but just enter something funny.

Speaker A: She's so funny.

Speaker A: You're so witty.

Speaker A: So here it's a big busing place.

Speaker A: Like, people are just constantly coming and just taking plates off of your table.

Speaker A: But at least in Ireland, that is the rudest thing you can do.

Speaker A: It's sort of the opposite of how we are about starting without everybody having their plates.

Speaker A: I'm not saying they don't wait for everyone to have their plates and eat, but like, the idea that you would make anyone else at the table feel rushed, like, I'm done.

Speaker A: What are you still doing?

Speaker A: So I know some people who came here and waited at tables and they were super confused by that.

Speaker A: And then the managers at restaurants would.

Speaker B: Get annoyed with they're like, pick up the pace, bro.

Speaker A: Yeah, you need to be busing.

Speaker A: And they're like, I don't always be rude.

Speaker A: That's what I always say, always be busing.

Speaker B: Oh, that's interesting.

Speaker B: I think just in general meal approach is very different culturally.

Speaker B: Culturally.

Speaker B: Like in the US.

Speaker B: That's why we have fat.

Speaker B: Thank you.

Speaker A: And that's why I think I do like, dining out or like doing I don't do a lot of fine dining, but even if you go to just like, I don't know, echo in Midtown or Buckhead or something like that, they do pace it a little slower.

Speaker A: I don't know why that was the first restaurant to come to mind, but just this idea that not rushing you through it like you're at the Cracker Barrel at breakfast.

Speaker B: Breakfast time on a Sunday?

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker A: I don't want to feel like that.

Speaker A: That makes me really uncomfortable.

Speaker A: Almost as uncomfortable as fine dining.

Speaker B: Well, yeah, I get really uncomfortable fine dining.

Speaker B: I think Commander's Palace will make you feel very well paced.

Speaker B: I don't remember them rushing or going super slow either, but it'll be very good.

Speaker B: You'll enjoy it.

Speaker B: And this last one might be relevant for that meal.

Speaker B: Maybe buttering your bread.

Speaker B: Not like that.

Speaker B: Salina, you romanced me today with the picnic, but I'm not talking about buttering that bread.

Speaker B: So if you're familiar with etiquette rules, you may be familiar with the rule that you're supposed to butter your bread one bite at a time.

Speaker B: Do you know this?

Speaker A: I think I've heard that version before, yeah.

Speaker B: I think it's the dumbest rule in the whole world.

Speaker B: That just seems so extra.

Speaker B: Like pick it up, butter a tiny piece.

Speaker B: It just doesn't make any sense.

Speaker B: But apparently that rule persists today in fine dining restaurants.

Speaker B: But according to experts, it's not relevant in casual dining restaurants.

Speaker B: So you can butter your bread all at one time.

Speaker A: You just SOP it through the whole dish.

Speaker B: That's what I do.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: I actually just lick the butter up and then lick it back on my bread.

Speaker A: Pretty much sounds like me at home.

Speaker B: So I'm going to stop there.

Speaker B: Hopefully, though, you've got a nice fine dining restaurant in your future, so hopefully this makes you feel more better prepared.

Speaker B: You're going to remember to have your menu touching the table.

Speaker A: Touching the table.

Speaker A: Just butter my bread one bite at a time.

Speaker A: Just the tip.

Speaker A: And don't say that.

Speaker A: Don't say that, especially to the server.

Speaker A: That will be very offensive to them.

Speaker B: Did you have other strays?

Speaker B: Since I interrupted our stray category, that was perfect timing.

Speaker B: Oh, okay, good.

Speaker B: So speaking of things we like, like eating out in restaurants, what did you like, Salina?

Speaker A: Well, reading this back looks and paired with that is going to sound really weird, but the scene where Suzanne accidentally drinks charlene's breast milk.

Speaker B: Poor Suzanne.

Speaker A: From her reaction to pretending like she didn't do it until she leaked, just the sheer look on her face, I don't know.

Speaker A: Part of it is what makes something funny is being able to identify it.

Speaker A: And I think most of us have been in a situation, maybe not that specific situation, but a situation where something dawns on us that is just like where you feel like your blood pool around your ankles and so that look that she does is so pitch perfect.

Speaker A: And then when she leaves the room and she I would never do that.

Speaker A: What do you think I am, some kind of pervert and start spinning everywhere?

Speaker A: It's fantastic.

Speaker A: I love it.

Speaker B: I actually enjoyed the plumbers crack runner and I said this at the top.

Speaker B: I appreciated that.

Speaker B: It was so deeply appreciated by someone that it made it into the episode description that we talked about at the top of the episode.

Speaker A: Yeah, they made the most all the way through.

Speaker B: They made the most of that one.

Speaker B: And I appreciate it.

Speaker A: Even the episodes button, right.

Speaker B: I also really appreciated the tension between Suzanne and Vanessa.

Speaker B: This is not the first time we've seen this because we saw it in episode 13 as well.

Speaker B: But Suzanne getting so uptight over basically her relationship with Anthony coming into and I think we saw it in the leader episode, too, coming into question with a new girlfriend.

Speaker B: I really liked that.

Speaker A: I think I've told you and maybe here, I can't remember, but that I have watched, maybe it was their three reunion or something and it was like the first time all of the men had been back together again.

Speaker A: And in the interview, Delta Burke is talking with mishaq Taylor and basically they're having a conversation about how LBT.

Speaker A: Had said if the show had gone on longer, she would have married them off.

Speaker A: That was down the line.

Speaker B: That would have made me very happy.

Speaker A: So I feel like when you look at that being in the far down path, it kind of makes some of this old, like some of the stuff that we're seeing now.

Speaker A: You're like, oh, I mean, they're in love, right?

Speaker A: They're just in love.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker B: I think it's much more on the nose than your question to me during the steel magnolia's episode about drum and.

Speaker A: Weezer who are also in love, I mean, they're not in love, they're just hot for each other.

Speaker B: So weird.

Speaker A: Vanessa, I don't mean to keep saying it and I'll talk a little.

Speaker A: Actually, I'll just go and say it now.

Speaker A: I think it was going to be one of the I had it later in my notes.

Speaker A: It doesn't matter.

Speaker A: I just think that sometimes a show needs a breath of fresh air, and.

Speaker B: That'S what she feels like.

Speaker B: I will say, and I had this in Strays also doesn't matter where it is, but the quickie to quiche thing, that's like the fourth times.

Speaker B: Fourth time we've gotten that joke.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: Same with a bidet.

Speaker B: We've gotten a lot of jokes about bidays.

Speaker A: Yeah, but it is a callback because Charlie makes the she tells that same story in the beginning, which that's an interesting device to use.

Speaker A: And I do like callbacks because it's nice for them to have some kind of threading through the show instead of it just feels so episodic all the time, like there's no connective tissue.

Speaker A: And you could argue that that feels true to real life.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker A: You meet somebody new, you tell them your best stories.

Speaker A: But I also just was going to say that I really like Vanessa and Anthony together a lot.

Speaker A: Maybe just because I don't think him and Lita have any chemistry.

Speaker A: Yeah, just like zero.

Speaker A: And I love that Suzanne turned in Charlene's nanny and then doubled down on it after they confronted her.

Speaker B: So extra.

Speaker A: She's real committed.

Speaker A: She's like, okay, Roberta.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: I didn't have anything I didn't like in this episode.

Speaker A: It felt like a little bit of a pacing thing for me.

Speaker A: Like we wrapped up the Anthony, Lita, Vanessa.

Speaker A: It's like a little bit of a love triangle, and it just like I think it happened too fast.

Speaker A: They dropped a couple of hints that maybe he really liked her the most, but I didn't feel like it was enough.

Speaker A: So when he admits that he likes her, it just felt like it was not entirely earned.

Speaker B: That's a good point.

Speaker A: It's fine.

Speaker A: It's a 1990s sitcom, right?

Speaker A: I will go on.

Speaker A: I just felt like especially there's so many times where we have these bottleneck episodes because there's 28 episodes this season, and it's like that's one.

Speaker A: Give that sucker some room to breathe.

Speaker B: Yeah, I agree with that.

Speaker B: I think that one could have spread over the next episode where we could, because what we basically got was in maybe 10 minutes time, he realized that her dressed up like an upper class Lita type wasn't what he wanted, and that was enough for him to realize that he wanted Vanessa just the way she was.

Speaker B: Like, he didn't have time to kind of process any of that.

Speaker A: I think that's a great read.

Speaker A: I didn't even understand what happened.

Speaker B: Oh, yeah.

Speaker B: It happened really fast.

Speaker B: It was like whiplash.

Speaker A: Yeah, okay.

Speaker A: You'll do, right?

Speaker A: You mean one could read it that she dressed up like Suzanne?

Speaker A: And then he admitted, I love it.

Speaker B: True.

Speaker B: This is true.

Speaker A: Well, what about rating?

Speaker B: My rating scale was below the equator.

Speaker B: Pants.

Speaker B: Love it.

Speaker B: I gave it a 3.5 out of five.

Speaker B: So I don't have much bad to say about this episode.

Speaker B: In fact, I had nothing that said it wasn't one of the greatest episodes.

Speaker B: I probably wouldn't be too excited to watch it again.

Speaker A: Yeah, I gave it a four out of five public flossers.

Speaker A: I thought it was enjoyable.

Speaker A: And this is where I mentioned it before, but I'll say it again.

Speaker A: One of the reasons I think I rated it higher is just because sometimes shows need some new blood.

Speaker A: Vanessa brings that to the table, and I think that's helpful.

Speaker A: One thing I will say, though, is even if it wasn't a montage situation, I would have liked to have had more time with Vanessa and Suzanne because I think they have good chemistry together and I would like to see them play off each other a little bit more.

Speaker B: That would have been an interesting story.

Speaker B: And I feel like I'm trying to remember there's at least one movie, probably a couple of romantic comedy type movies.

Speaker B: And I think I'm thinking Julia Roberts best friend's Wedding, where she's in love with this man who's getting ready to marry another woman.

Speaker B: And then she has a lot of one to one time with the other woman.

Speaker B: And it's just an interesting dynamic.

Speaker B: Yeah, right.

Speaker B: It's just an interesting dynamic.

Speaker B: Yeah, because she turns out that she really likes Cameron Diaz's character, but still she's in love with her best friend and she doesn't want her to be the one that marries him.

Speaker B: So there's like this subtle almost trying to ruin her.

Speaker B: But also she kind of likes her and she doesn't want to.

Speaker B: And I just think that's an interesting movie.

Speaker A: That's a great movie.

Speaker A: So I'm like sitting here having a million thoughts.

Speaker A: I'm going to be very quiet.

Speaker B: Well, the only reason I bring it up, Salina could bring it back in, reign you back in.

Speaker B: The only reason I bring it up is just because that's what when you said that, that's this kind of storyline that came to mind for me.

Speaker B: And if Suzanne has such strong feelings for Anthony, I could see this storyline playing out very similarly because she and Vanessa also have really great chemistry together.

Speaker B: So it would have been a really interesting storytelling process.

Speaker A: Yeah, we needed it.

Speaker A: I think what I would have done is I probably would have ended it after they got together and she showed her the ropes of being Suzanne, and then the big reveal of her would have been in the second episode and give Anthony's, like, a full scene to go explore his feelings or something.

Speaker B: They would have needed to do a little bit more with Vanessa in that case, because I thought the big reveal in this episode was super disappointing.

Speaker B: I was like, okay, that's what we're going to do.

Speaker B: But it's because they only did it in, like, a minute.

Speaker A: Let us dine out a little bit.

Speaker A: What are you going to do?

Speaker A: All right.

Speaker B: What about rewrite the series?

Speaker A: No problem.

Speaker A: What about 90s things?

Speaker B: I think Charlene calling breast milk mother's milk felt very ninety s, eighty s.

Speaker B: I don't know.

Speaker B: She kept calling it mother's milk and it made me very uncomfortable.

Speaker A: How do you think she felt?

Speaker B: Yeah, maybe, I don't know.

Speaker B: But I do think that's how they talked about it in the, like seventy s.

Speaker B: Eighty s, ninety s.

Speaker B: So she probably felt great about it.

Speaker B: It hits my ear differently now because it's been so long.

Speaker A: Mother's milk.

Speaker A: I'm trying to decide whether to ask you an uncomfortable question or not.

Speaker A: Uhoh, did you ever accidentally taste breast milk?

Speaker B: No.

Speaker A: Okay, I'm just curious.

Speaker A: Does it taste like cow's milk?

Speaker A: Does it taste more like rice milk?

Speaker A: It's not like I want it, but I want to know how everything tastes.

Speaker A: It's just my DNA.

Speaker B: Yeah, it's a body liquid.

Speaker A: Well, when you describe it like that, that's what it is.

Speaker A: It makes it less appealing.

Speaker A: That's what it is.

Speaker B: The whole discussion at the beginning about plumbers crack without calling it that, I've said multiple times I thought that was really funny.

Speaker B: I absolutely think that's a really universal experience having seen that at one point in time or another.

Speaker B: But I was wondering why they didn't just call it plumbers crack.

Speaker B: So I think this is where you'll see the distinction between you and me, because you looked up Newton's.

Speaker B: That's not what they're called the nutria in the last episode.

Speaker B: I took one look at that page and I was like, yeah, that seems boring.

Speaker B: I'm not going to look that up.

Speaker B: But I looked up plumbers crack in the origin of that phrase.

Speaker B: So according to dictionary, the term became widespread later in the few references were just a couple of years after this episode aired in like 1990, 219, 93.

Speaker B: So it just wasn't really a term when this episode was made.

Speaker B: Was certainly a cultural phenomenon, apparently, but not a widespread term.

Speaker A: That's kind of weird to think about.

Speaker A: Like somebody has to name the puppy crack.

Speaker B: And the last thing I wanted to mention in this category was just an Encyclopedia Britannica, because Anthony mentioned that early in the episode.

Speaker B: This is the world's oldest continuously published encyclopedia.

Speaker B: Did you know that in 2012, after 244 years, they ended the print edition with the 32 volumes of the 2010 encyclopedia being the last to be printed in traditional hardbound?

Speaker A: I'm going to tell you, I think.

Speaker B: I did know that at that point in time, printed sales only represented about 1% of their business.

Speaker B: Not wild.

Speaker B: Yeah, my grandmother had a whole encyclopedia section.

Speaker A: Of course.

Speaker B: That's amazing.

Speaker A: It does feel very of that era.

Speaker A: I mean, even like in Friends, where the encyclopediapedia salesman tops by and Pin and Teller, one of them sounds vaguely familiar, and he can only afford the G or something.

Speaker A: And so he's learning like every G word or I mean, every M word or something.

Speaker B: I don't know.

Speaker B: I can't tell if it speaks to summertime boredness or.

Speaker B: This is the kind of person I am.

Speaker B: But, yeah, I used to go grab one and just sit on the couch and pictures and learn about things like plumbers crack.

Speaker A: It's important to learn.

Speaker B: It's important to learn.

Speaker A: It's important to learn.

Speaker A: It's a good 90s reference.

Speaker A: Did you have any other 90s references?

Speaker A: My only other one was, like, Mary Joe kind of alludes to America's crack problem.

Speaker A: I wasn't going to go down that entire road, but that is a 90s thing because it happened across a lot of the 80s, but then trickled into, like, the beginning part of the 90s.

Speaker A: We don't have to go down that public health route.

Speaker A: It's fine.

Speaker A: Southern things.

Speaker B: Suzanne calling the woman at the other table in the restaurant a Goober.

Speaker B: It means an unsophisticated or goofy person.

Speaker B: Have we talked about this before?

Speaker A: Maybe.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker B: I will say that the word Goober, when I looked it up, has roots in one of the West African dialects, and it was brought here to the American South by slaves.

Speaker B: And so Goober is like in the Andy Griffiths show, which is like, the most Southern show of all time.

Speaker B: There was a character Goober called Goober.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker B: So I wanted to mention it because I think it is a Southern term.

Speaker B: Interesting.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker B: And then Julia said or it's a term we use in the south.

Speaker B: I'll say Julia said, when a woman gets a man to cussen she sounded very Southern in that whole.

Speaker B: When a woman gets a man to cussen, then that's a when we know he's in a loving no.

Speaker B: There's something very Southern about the way she delivered it.

Speaker A: Fair enough.

Speaker B: No.

Speaker B: Yes.

Speaker A: I just had Charlene says, looks like you've been shot out of the saddle, referring to Suzanne losing her Mayan or the person that runs all her errands.

Speaker B: However you want to look at it.

Speaker B: Herman, mayan.

Speaker A: That's what they're for, right?

Speaker A: What about references we need to talk about?

Speaker B: We don't need to talk about it, but I'm going to mention Anita Bryant one more time.

Speaker A: Need to do any of this?

Speaker B: Well, we specifically don't need to talk about this one because we've already talked about her in season one, episode 14.

Speaker B: Just as a reminder for folks, she was a singer, a former beauty pageant queen, and a very strong anti gay advocate.

Speaker A: Yeah, that's accurate.

Speaker A: I had the Sports Illustrated workout just because Lita comes in and she's like, I'm running.

Speaker A: I feel great.

Speaker A: I've been running 5 miles every morning.

Speaker A: I do the Sports Illustrative workout twice a day.

Speaker A: First of all, that's like 3 hours of workout a day, just to be clear.

Speaker A: But she said it so specifically that I was like, okay, what is the Sport Illustrated workout?

Speaker A: Yeah, and so I think I found it in December of 89, I found an article where they were talking about the Sports Illustrated Super Shape Up program.

Speaker A: It was a series of 350 minutes videos this is how I know that she was doing it 3 hours a day.

Speaker A: Two of those sessions.

Speaker A: Plus she can probably run 5 miles faster than an hour.

Speaker B: Yeah, it takes me a long time to run 5 miles.

Speaker B: Takes me a lot longer than it was you?

Speaker A: I don't know.

Speaker A: I don't run anymore.

Speaker B: Very slow runner.

Speaker A: But anyways, that's here nor there about my mathing.

Speaker A: But stretch and strengthen with Elle McPherson, body sculpting with Rachel Hunter and Aerobic interval training with Cheryl Teagues, which is also very of that time.

Speaker A: Right.

Speaker A: It's, like, really quite a little.

Speaker B: I feel awful about myself watching that.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker A: I mean, were women buying that or were men buying that or just anybody who wants to look at half necked clad model bodies.

Speaker A: Anyways, I think that's basically even the article I read was, like, alluding to that, essentially.

Speaker B: So yay.

Speaker A: Boolabaze.

Speaker B: Booyabies.

Speaker A: That's what I said.

Speaker A: Boolea.

Speaker A: Beisy boolea.

Speaker A: Boolean.

Speaker A: I speak French.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker A: What did she call it?

Speaker A: I thought I almost feel like she said another word.

Speaker A: She did, but, like, a real word.

Speaker A: It wasn't just a mispronunciation.

Speaker A: That doesn't matter.

Speaker A: My point was that I was surprised that she ordered that at a Portuguese restaurant because it's French.

Speaker A: So that shocked me.

Speaker A: Not that you can't cuisine chicken, mangles.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker A: I was just surprised they didn't pick something more Portuguesey.

Speaker B: I'm always a little bit nervous about commenting on things like that because not me.

Speaker A: I'm going in with 2ft.

Speaker A: I also looked it up first.

Speaker B: Okay, well, there you go.

Speaker B: I didn't look it up because I was afraid I'd get stuck in some kind of weird, like, world history vortex where it turns out the French invaded Portugal in the 1830s, and booyabays was the only thing to survive.

Speaker A: Let me tell you something.

Speaker A: I can't help what Napoleon did or didn't do.

Speaker A: I'll just have to go see Joaquin Phoenix, play them later this year.

Speaker A: That'll be my understanding of the Napoleonic Wars.

Speaker A: Yeah, no, I looked it up.

Speaker A: I mean, it's a traditional provincial fish soup originating in the port city of Marseille.

Speaker A: I think that's how you pronounce it.

Speaker A: I was, like, going off Versailles.

Speaker A: I was like, I see two ales, versailles, Versace.

Speaker B: Right.

Speaker B: Okay.

Speaker A: Do you have any other references?

Speaker B: I don't.

Speaker A: I just had exxon Valdez.

Speaker A: That was my very last one.

Speaker A: I just wonder if people like I mean, I know people our age know, but if like because there have been worse oil spills since then.

Speaker A: It was an oil spill in 89.

Speaker A: It was really bad.

Speaker A: 11 million gallons of crude oil in Alaska.

Speaker A: Yeah.

Speaker A: So the article I read was from 2019 because it covered, like, 1300 miles of coastline, and in 2019, they were still finding pockets of crude oil in some locations.

Speaker B: It's nuts.

Speaker B: That's terrible.

Speaker A: It's really terrible.

Speaker A: So I just wanted to end it on a banger.

Speaker B: Thanks for that.

Speaker A: A day brightener, if you will.

Speaker B: I was afraid to go there because it seemed really depressing.

Speaker A: Why didn't mention the animals?

Speaker B: That's why they have the dawn dish soap oil spill commercials now.

Speaker B: I love those commercials.

Speaker B: I love to see them saving the animals.

Speaker B: It's nice.

Speaker B: Anyhow, next up is speaking of animals.

Speaker B: Next episode season Four episode 19 pain Grows Up young Boys animals.

Speaker B: Whatnot we'd love everyone to follow along with us, engage Instagram and Facebook at sweet tea and TV TikTok at sweettvpod.

Speaker B: Email and our website is

Speaker B: And on that website, you can find ways to support the show from the Support US page.

Speaker B: You can also rate and or review the podcast wherever you listen.

Speaker B: And come back Thursday for extra sugar.

Speaker B: Where we're going to talk about busting.

Speaker A: Up some southern women tropes and stereotypes.

Speaker B: Well, there you go.

Speaker A: Or we'll just talk about Southern women.

Speaker A: All right, well, you know what that means.

Speaker B: Nikki what does it mean, Salina?

Speaker A: Means we'll see you on Thursday.

Speaker A: Bye.


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