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Designing Women S4 E19 - Julia the Dangerous Woman

Updated: Jun 1, 2023

Remember that time Julia got wasted at her son’s last-minute wedding? She definitely doesn’t! We’ll never forget her impromptu burlesque routine: the perfect gift for the son who just already has everything on his big day. Nikki’s is going to pop in – promptly of course – with a “Manners Moment with Mrs. Mayes” on wedding etiquette.

Then come back on Thursday for an all-new “Extra Sugar” dedicated to shotgun weddings.

Some references we discussed:

Come on y’all, let’s get into it!



Salina: Hey, Nikki.

Nikki: Hey, Salina.

Salina: And hello, everyone, and welcome to Sweet tea and TV.

Salina: Hey, y'all.

Salina: The podcast where the minute we hit record, someone outside of my neighborhood decides it's time to blow leaves.

Salina: It doesn't matter what time of year it is.

Salina: It's spring.

Salina: There are no leaves and yet there's a machine out there.

Nikki: Going to be fair, we hadn't pushed the button yet.

Nikki: My finger was hovering on the button.

Nikki: So how could they have known?

Salina: Really close enough.

Nikki: That'S how.

Nikki: Tuned in with your neighbors you are.

Salina: I was thinking it was more like you bring your luck together with my luck, start a podcast and we just sit back and watch the fireworks happen.

Salina: You all yeah.

Nikki: The fire something.

Salina: That's right.

Salina: Everything could happen.

Salina: Anything could happen.

Salina: Anyways.

Salina: Well, it's been a while since we've been here together again.

Salina: I know I say it all the time.

Salina: You all don't know, but I feel it in the room.

Salina: It has to be addressed.

Salina: And actually, we haven't really been together since the coronation.

Salina: That's true of the king.

Salina: King Charles feels weird still.

Nikki: I don't think that's very strange.

Salina: There's like something else in there for his official title.

Salina: Maybe.

Salina: I don't know.

Salina: It doesn't matter.

Salina: The third maybe it doesn't matter.

Nikki: That sounds right.

Nikki: I probably should be more helpful on that front if I'm going to do things like watch the coronation.

Salina: Well, I think as I was putting this together, I was like, let me look this up.

Salina: And I was like, that doesn't matter.

Nikki: King Charles III.

Nikki: You're right.

Salina: See, I just knew just right off.

Nikki: The top of you.

Nikki: She's biggest Charles fan.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: I just looked at the tattoo on my arm and I was like, Charles.

Nikki: Right.

Salina: But I felt like we did drop some things on social media and I didn't want to go and like just completely ignore the fact that, like, this is like much like still magnolias.

Salina: It's one of the tent poles of our friendship.

Salina: We met each other and we were like, you love royal stuff for no reason.

Salina: Me too.

Nikki: You have absolutely no connection.

Salina: Zero connection.

Salina: Let's get in on that.

Salina: We'll be at 05:00 A.m.

Salina: Every three to four years for something.

Nikki: It's magical in a way, but also it just feels not real.

Salina: I'm like, it's not our country.

Nikki: It doesn't affect us.

Salina: It's terrible.

Salina: But I do want to be very clear because I feel like sometimes I see, like a little judgment in people's eyes.

Salina: Like, if I ever say anything and I'm like, it doesn't mean I'm a fan of colonialism.

Salina: Yeah, I'm an American.

Nikki: Yeah.

Salina: Hello.

Nikki: It's the pageantry.

Nikki: It's like there's so much.

Nikki: I was excited to see everybody walking in and just see what they're wearing and there's always royal family drama.

Nikki: It's like a soap opera and we.

Salina: Don'T get any of that.

Salina: We get drama.

Salina: We got drama on drama on drama.

Salina: But we don't have a lot of pageantry.

Salina: Even our most, like, whatever events, like inauguration or whatever, it's fine.

Nikki: It's fine.

Salina: But it's not like that.

Salina: We don't have carriages that go back to William the Conqueror.

Nikki: Like gold plated things.

Salina: Not even I'm a fan of gold plated things, but I like to see.

Nikki: Them with, like, also Disney generation.

Nikki: True kids.

Salina: Now everybody is the whole world.

Nikki: But like, Disney princess.

Nikki: It all just feels very princessy.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: So I wanted to make sure that people know that Nikki was very kind and she hosted the event.

Salina: There were even formal invitations to me.

Nikki: We worked really carolina and I worked really hard on that.

Nikki: We designed it just for you.

Nikki: In a perfect world, we would have printed it and put it in your mailbox, but time was not on our side.

Salina: I wasn't going to say that it wasn't printed.

Nikki: Printed, embossed, put in your mailbox.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: Or the fact that it was like Carolina that was involved.

Salina: I told you when I got over there that I thought about that and just like, I almost started tearing up because I was thinking, like, this is a memory that Carolina will have long past.

Salina: Maybe she won't remember, but I think she will.

Salina: I like to believe that she will remember.

Nikki: At a minimum, she has the fascinator that you left her.

Salina: That's true.

Nikki: She's very much sitting in her room right now.

Salina: I love that.

Salina: So I did arrive with three fascinators, but I also arrived to a beautiful space that was decorated.

Salina: There was even a signature cocktail involved, you guys, at 06:00 A.m..

Salina: So there was no alcohol in that cocktail, which is good.

Salina: Can you imagine?

Nikki: Yes, surely.

Salina: Can you imagine?

Salina: So we watched the coronation.

Salina: That was, like, part of it, but it's really more than that.

Salina: It's like it's just the time together.

Salina: It's making a memory.

Nikki: Salina crying in the car on the.

Salina: Way over at 06:00 A.m..

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: It might have been also that I was up at 06:00 A.m.

Salina: On a Saturday.

Nikki: It could have been five or four, though, if we hadn't been reasonable people.

Salina: That's true.

Salina: And let's not pretend like we're not up at unreasonably early hours on recording days.

Nikki: It's true.

Salina: That all happens.

Salina: But anyways, I did feel bad because I do think we port a little.

Salina: Carolina out.

Salina: She was very tired when I left, and she still had to go play baseball and have a birthday celebration.

Salina: Yes.

Salina: You didn't do she was like, I'm over this.

Nikki: That was a decision that she made herself.

Nikki: She actually got up early and said she was ready to just come on ahead and come downstairs because she didn't want to be late to our party about watching the king.

Nikki: So she made that decision.

Nikki: She might have regretted it.

Nikki: We might not see her at Will and Kate's coronation.

Salina: She was very sweet.

Salina: She was very sweet.

Salina: So and then the menu.

Salina: Well, we got to let them know about that.

Nikki: Oh, yeah.

Nikki: We'd have to remember what was on it.

Salina: Don't worry.

Nikki: You've got it.

Salina: I went back and looked at the pictures.

Nikki: Okay, perfect.

Salina: Because I was, like, tired.

Salina: It's been a minute.

Salina: We had assorted skulls from seven sisters.

Salina: Which Nikki provided.

Salina: And I think I have to say and I feel confidently saying this that we, you and I cannot recommend highly enough.

Nikki: Oh, yeah.

Salina: So you are in the Atlanta area.

Nikki: I love those.

Nikki: They're really good.

Nikki: You and I were having this conversation, and I think I had a similar conversation with Kyle that Scones can sometimes have a tendency to be a little dry and, like, crumbly.

Nikki: I don't think Seven Sisters are dry and crumbly.

Salina: And those were packaged, I think, which.

Nikki: Is especially.

Salina: Telling that they know what's up.

Nikki: Yeah, they're good.

Salina: I even somehow was able to remember some of the flavors.

Nikki: Okay.

Salina: We had some sweet and savory, which was nice with fig and goat cheese.

Nikki: Oh, yeah, we did.

Salina: That one was super good.

Salina: I also like because it's, like, a little unique.

Nikki: It was sweet and savory all at one time, versus they're usually either really sweet or really savory.

Salina: Yes.

Salina: There's also that lavender situation.

Salina: I can't remember.

Salina: It was, like, lavender and honey, but it was definitely lavender and something.

Salina: And basically, because I am basic, you can put lavender in anything.

Salina: And I'm like, oh, it's like it's poop, Salina.

Salina: And I'm like, but there's lavender.

Nikki: But there's lavender.

Salina: Yeah, it's great.

Salina: There was cheese and chives.

Salina: There was also a jalapeno one that was really good.

Salina: The butter beer.

Nikki: Oh, that one was really good.

Nikki: That one was like butterscotchy.

Nikki: I think we decided that was good.

Nikki: Very good.

Nikki: My favorite one there is Vanilla Bean, and you've already heard that wasn't in our collection, which was disappointing to me.

Nikki: But the Vanilla Bean is really, really good.

Nikki: There was a cinnamon sugar one, too, right?

Nikki: Yeah, good, too.

Nikki: I always lean toward the sweet ones.

Nikki: So the savory ones, I'm like, oh, they're fun.

Salina: They weren't as excited about King Charles, because the royal wedding, do you remember?

Salina: There was a special one.

Salina: It was rose and champagne.

Salina: You brought it.

Nikki: I do remember this now.

Salina: That was my introduction to Seven Sisters.

Salina: We're now on a Scone podcast, which I could totally do, by the way.

Nikki: But interesting, they didn't have a special one.

Salina: They could have done quiche.

Salina: So there was also many pancakes, fruit salad.

Salina: You had a beautiful assortment of fortnum's tea.

Nikki: Okay.

Salina: And then including the royal blend, of course.

Nikki: Yes.

Salina: Royal event.

Salina: And then did you want to tell them about your signature cocktail?

Salina: Do you remember you did a signature cocktail?

Nikki: I do.

Nikki: I don't remember the name of it.

Nikki: I sent it to you later.

Nikki: But it was apparently a King Charles, and I don't have any of my devices to look it up.

Nikki: It's like a King Charles favorite.

Nikki: And it was gin based.

Nikki: It was gin and like a strawberry infused mixer that I made.

Nikki: So I had to what do you call it when you let the strawberries sort of, like, simmer down and sort of with sugar and then refrigerated that for a couple of days and then mixed it with the gin and then there was something on top?

Salina: Champagne.

Nikki: Champagne, yes.

Nikki: I did it all alcohol free, though.

Nikki: So I did a gin alternative ritual.

Nikki: Does zero proof alcohol, like imitations.

Nikki: And then I did a I don't know how they make champagne without alcohol, but it was like an alcohol free champagne as opposed to, like a grape, sparkling grape juice.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: It's tough because I barely know how they make champagne, but I know for most of the spirits, what they do is they do distill it and then they use a process to draw they separate it out.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: So I'm wondering if it's something similar.

Salina: But what I will say is I actually don't drink.

Salina: And so what I will say is I'm constantly on the search for a mocktail that has a nice bite to it, and by it being a gin based drink, it had a little bite to it, which is nice because a lot of times people are like, oh, a mocktail, here's some pineapple juice.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: And I'm like which, by the way, will make you feel hungover because of all the sugar.

Salina: If you wind up being out and have like, two or three mocktails just because it's part of the ritual of being out at night and you're, like, feeling like crap the next day but you didn't get the fun part.

Nikki: Yeah, I was telling you that I've started drinking this ritual stuff because I like the ritual of a fun drink.

Nikki: Like, if we're having Taco Tuesday, I love a margarita, and I want a margarita, but I just have been feeling so bad after I drink alcohol lately.

Nikki: It just makes me feel blah and like I have no energy.

Salina: And that day, it is a depressant.

Nikki: It's true.

Salina: So there's that in the mix.

Nikki: That day of the coronation, I knew, one, you don't drink, and two, we had a big day, but I still wanted to have something fun, so I found the actual recipe online, and then I just replaced everything with alcohol free versions.

Salina: I will say that I think I named that drink.

Salina: It really is like Strawberry Royal Surprise?

Nikki: Something like that.

Salina: And that is in our post, if anyone's interested, so they can find it.

Salina: And I think it was in Better Homes and Gardens, so it's not unfindable, so don't you worry.

Salina: You can't and I can't remember that name.

Salina: I also brought a quiche.

Salina: I will say I could not wrap my mind around the broad beans in a quiche, even though I like broad beans.

Salina: We talked about this on a previous episode.

Salina: So I did quiche.

Salina: Lorraine was my first quiche.

Nikki: It was delicious.

Nikki: It was very good.

Salina: Thank you.

Salina: And we'll eventually when I get around to it, we'll drop something in social media about that.

Nikki: But I'll have you know Kyle Mays was looking at quiche's recently for an upcoming trip we're taking.

Nikki: He was looking at a menu I think is what it was, and found a quiche.

Nikki: And he was like, oh I like quiche.

Nikki: And I was like, I think you might have turned him.

Salina: Let me tell you something that's the highest of all compliments because I've been hearing about his diet for many years now and there's a very specific it's not like he doesn't eat anything.

Salina: It's not like he's like a chicken fingers guy.

Nikki: He just has preferences.

Salina: Yeah, he's got like what he likes and what he doesn't.

Salina: Reminds me of my friend Sarah.

Salina: It's not she don't eat right, but if you're like trying to throw something weird at her or she's like something.

Nikki: Crazy like a quiche.

Salina: Crazy like a quiche.

Salina: Actually I think she hates eggs so she definitely wouldn't enjoy that.

Nikki: Do you think we talked about this?

Nikki: Eggs are divisive and both my kids didn't really care for the quiche so.

Salina: I had to tell you that I laughed very heartily on the way home at how very much a parent I am not because you all need to understand that when I got there I was very impressed with myself.

Salina: I said, Nikki, I didn't put in the green onion because it's for children and I want to be inclusive, which.

Nikki: Was very kind, looked at me and.

Salina: You said, Salina, it is a quiche and they are children, they are not going to eat it and I can promise you they did not like it at all.

Nikki: But to be fair, there were sweet scones sitting right next to it and then we all and pancake bites tortured.

Salina: Them relentlessly about quiche after.

Nikki: If you're going to be weird about quiche, you deserve to get made fun of.

Salina: They're going to get one for some birthday in the future, of that I assure you.

Salina: So the last thing I want to say before we jump into the episode is you and I were having and Kyle were having a really good time thinking about like coming back to this idea of like we don't have anything good, right?

Salina: And here's why.

Salina: If this was in America, you know each one of the six parts of the coronation will be sponsored, right?

Salina: Just like the bowl games.

Salina: It's not just a bowl anymore, it's a Tostito sun bowl or whatever.

Salina: Okay.

Nikki: Wireless bowl.

Salina: That's right.

Salina: So I actually came up with a list.

Salina: Jump in as you want to.

Salina: Okay.

Salina: And let me know if you have any good ideas.

Salina: But a sponsor for each one of our American coronation events.

Salina: So first up you got the recognition.

Nikki: Sure.

Salina: Brought to you by Verizon can you hear me now?

Salina: Recognition.

Nikki: I thought you were going to say ruffles.

Nikki: Ruffles.

Nikki: Recognition.

Salina: Have your recognition and your ridges.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: So this is what I'm saying.

Salina: You got to hop in because I was doing this through, like, bleary eyes at 06:00 A.m.

Salina: Some morning.

Nikki: Oh, gosh.

Salina: Then the next one up is the oath brought to you by Tax Layer.

Salina: We get your taxes right each time.

Salina: Every time.

Salina: That's our oath to you.

Nikki: That's great.

Salina: The anointing brought to you by Head and Shoulders.

Nikki: So I thought for the anointing, you could do like an olive oil brand.

Nikki: And for the oath, I feel that also could be a lawyer.

Nikki: Like one of those what is he?

Nikki: The accident lawyer?

Salina: Ken Nugent.

Salina: The hammer and the oath.

Salina: Exactly.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: The investiture is the next one brought to you by J.

Salina: P.

Salina: Morgan.

Salina: Chase the enthrallment.

Nikki: If you don't say that, toilet maker, I'm gonna cry.

Nikki: What was the crapper?

Salina: Yeah, she buys a crapper.

Nikki: The crapper family of toilets.

Salina: Okay, well, maybe this one will please you.

Salina: Okay.

Salina: And I guess it would be what's the one that's like, really recognizable now?

Nikki: Toilets.

Salina: Coals or something.

Nikki: Yeah.

Nikki: Coal or American Standard?

Salina: Yeah.

Nikki: Doesn't have the same ring as the Crapper.

Salina: No one can beat the Crapper.

Nikki: No one can be the crapper family of toilets.

Salina: So this is not as good as that.

Salina: But I was thinking the enthrallment brought to you by Lazy Boy.

Nikki: I like that.

Nikki: I do like that.

Nikki: Yeah.

Nikki: And you need a Lazy Boy to sit through that entire coronation.

Salina: Yes.

Salina: And then there's the homage.

Salina: Homage.

Salina: I don't know.

Salina: I think they do say homage.

Salina: We say homage.

Nikki: Okay.

Salina: I don't ever know because I can't.

Nikki: I would have said homage.

Salina: Homage.

Salina: Yes.

Nikki: But I don't know if that's the right word.

Salina: No, I think you're right.

Salina: And I just gave two incorrect.

Nikki: That just means there's flexibility.

Salina: Helmage anyways.

Salina: And that is brought to you by

Salina: If I looked it up, it had very much to do with the people around you.

Salina: So that was tough.

Nikki: I thought you were going to say the Hellman's homage.

Salina: That sounds delicious.

Salina: Sounds great as a mayo fan.

Salina: Or we're in the south, if it was a Southern one.

Nikki: Yeah, right.

Salina: Dukes.

Salina: Yeah, fair enough.

Salina: So there you go, guys.

Salina: If we had the coronation here, we.

Nikki: Had way too much fun imagining the coronation being sponsored, but we didn't come up with any of those good ones.

Salina: What we're trying to say is that if we brought it here to America, we could both really incentivize it and cheapen it.

Nikki: And I really feel like this is our call to action for the president in case whoever the next president is wants to call on us to do the inauguration.

Nikki: I think there are also stages of the inauguration, and I would be happy to make money off of that.

Salina: Absolutely.

Salina: I'm American.

Nikki: Let's monetize the American dream.

Nikki: Let's monetize it anytime.

Salina: Except for here.

Nikki: I mean, we'd be happy to make money.

Salina: We'd love it.

Salina: Also, this is a good time to say we thank you, Patreons.

Nikki: Yes.

Salina: And we do love you.

Salina: We think about you often, affection every time.

Salina: We sometimes you're the only things we're getting up for.

Nikki: Every time we upgrade an account, like our Headliner account, we thank the Patreons because they make that possible.

Salina: Absolutely.

Nikki: 100%.

Salina: So thank you.

Nikki: Thank you very much.

Salina: And also thank you, JPMorgan.

Salina: J.

Salina: Just in case that works out for us.

Salina: Who knows?

Nikki: And let's get into the Lipton Sweet Tea and TV episode for the week.

Salina: Hey, we can do it.

Salina: I can make all kinds of things work.

Salina: I do sometimes fantasize a little bit what our first sponsorship will be like.

Nikki: Is it illegal to yeah, probably.

Nikki: We probably can't make up a sponsor for every episode that's not truly sponsoring us.

Salina: You know, Casey said we should just start doing that.

Nikki: What if we do that?

Salina: It's so funny.

Salina: He was like and I was like, I don't think and he was like, who's going to get mad that you're plugging it?

Salina: And I was like, well, unless they.

Nikki: Disagree with our content.

Salina: Absolutely.

Nikki: I was going to say a brand, but I'm not going to.

Salina: Good.

Salina: Look at you.

Salina: Good job.

Salina: Yes.

Salina: We're high fiving across the table.

Salina: Don't ruin it before we have it.

Salina: You know what I'm saying?

Salina: Ruin it after we got it.

Nikki: After we got it.

Nikki: Okay, fair enough.

Salina: Speaking of ruining things.

Nikki: Well done.

Salina: I'm just going to knock the mic off the mic stand.

Nikki: But that's if you think Julia ruined things, I think she jazzed them up a little bit.

Salina: There you go.

Salina: Yeah, well, I didn't say Julia ruined.

Nikki: Any oh, fair enough.

Nikki: All right.

Nikki: So we are at Designing Women season four, episode 19.

Nikki: This episode is called Payne Grows Up.

Nikki: IMDb's description is Julia learns that her son Payne is graduating early from college and getting married to his pregnant girlfriend.

Nikki: The next day at the wedding, Julia gets drunk, performs an outrageous rendition of Sweet Georgia Brown, and wakes up the next morning in the same room as Payne's 22 year old roommate Scott.

Nikki: This one aired February 19, 1990.

Nikki: We're calling it Julia the Dangerous Woman.

Nikki: It was written by Pam Norris and directed by David Trainer.

Nikki: So let's jump into general reactions.

Nikki: Stray observations.

Salina: Yeah, I mean, all of my reactions are Julia based because the episode is Julia based.

Nikki: Julia based.

Nikki: Give me a little Julia based.

Salina: Delicious.

Salina: So.

Salina: I don't know.

Salina: I just really felt for her in this one.

Nikki: Okay.

Salina: She she finds out very unceremoniously that these big changes are happening to her baby.

Salina: I think it's probably even more.

Salina: There's no first pancake in this situation.

Salina: She doesn't get another pancake.

Salina: That's true.

Salina: It's like me, I can tell you as an only child, there's a lot of pressure there.

Salina: Not for pain, though.

Salina: He's male, but the way he tells her, I know it has to be phone because he's in another but, like.

Nikki: During the day, during the work day and just on the fly.

Salina: That's a choice, right?

Nikki: Yeah, I guess that's true.

Salina: Yeah.

Nikki: I was trying to show right.

Salina: We need the ladies there, but let's just take it to reality for a minute.

Salina: That's a crappy thing to do to someone.

Nikki: It took me a second to remember why she found out so last minute that he's graduating.

Nikki: So that was me processing.

Nikki: Oh, that's right.

Nikki: There was an explanation for that.

Nikki: It was early credits or something.

Salina: Early.

Salina: Of course.

Salina: Truthfully.

Salina: He's, like, not graduating.

Salina: I don't know.

Salina: Okay, it is a sitcom, and it doesn't matter, but all of it just sounded kind of unrealistic to me.

Salina: So they're both getting out of college right now.

Salina: Okay.

Salina: That's realistic.

Salina: That's not that part.

Salina: But that means they are entry level people, and they're going to move to New York City.

Salina: Cool.

Salina: With an infant in tow.

Nikki: Great.

Salina: No problems.

Salina: They're no trouble at all.

Salina: No help there.

Salina: Okay, good.

Salina: 1990 calls, and they're very excited and totally understanding regarding the recent employment of a pregnant woman.

Salina: There was, like, these things that were just creeping up for me, and I couldn't help if Julia's like, this is about to get really expensive.

Salina: But there are other things.

Salina: I will have you know that because on rewatch this morning, like, they stayed in the four seasons.

Nikki: Yeah.

Salina: Okay.

Salina: And then they had, like, a beautiful wedding, so they're going on a honeymoon.

Salina: Do you know how many adults I know, like, legitimate adults who are like, we got to put off our honeymoon for a while because we just paid for a big old wedding?

Nikki: I think I had convinced myself that there's some money set aside for pain, like, from his dad passing away some money set aside for this big major life event.

Salina: I think it's definitely the case he's.

Nikki: Not living the same life we did coming out of college.

Salina: Definitely not.

Salina: So, yeah, if I'm Julia, I'm thinking about how I'm about to get hit up for money, but I think that's fair and true to this show that he probably does have some kind of trust from his dad.

Nikki: On the note about feeling for Julia in this episode, I feel like that's a good time for me to say my main general reaction is actually that I thought this was an interesting approach to this storyline.

Nikki: So Payne, I want to make sure I say this in a way that's not offensive.

Nikki: His girlfriend getting pregnant and then getting married really quickly.

Nikki: Incidentally, we're going to talk about shotgun weddings with zero judgment and extra sugar this week.

Nikki: But that's what's happening here, is they're having a shotgun wedding.

Nikki: It's interesting that I guess Pam decided to focus on Julia's reaction to becoming a grandmother over any sort of fear that pain is throwing his life away or that he's wasting his beautiful future, which I think almost every other storyline would have looked at it that way, like, oh, she would have tried to flown up there to try to convince him to not get married.

Salina: Or there'd be like some kind of s*** shaming.

Nikki: Exactly.

Nikki: And in this instance, she was just more focused on her, which is very on brand for her, more focused on her journey.

Nikki: But I liked it.

Nikki: I liked looking at it that way instead of this sad shamy sort of thing.

Salina: Well, I also think that the episode did a really good job of reminding her we're talking about her journey and how this is affecting her, which I think it very much.

Salina: Even though she keeps trying to focus on pain, I think that's there but it's like reminding her over and over again, you're old now.

Salina: Which I think is really tough for.

Nikki: Her, hard for anybody.

Salina: Well, because we are in an increasingly obsessed youth culture, or youth obsessed culture, rather.

Salina: And I think that lens is all the harder on women.

Salina: Men get to be, oh, look at him with his dapper gray hair.

Salina: And then it's like, oh, look, she turned into an old hag.

Salina: I'm not saying that's how it always plays out, but I do think it's been very difficult.

Salina: Hollywood has a long history story of that being the case where you would have someone who in one movie with a man, played their daughter, then their wife, and then their mother, but they get to stay the same age.

Nikki: Right.

Nikki: And I think we talked about this with Dixie Carter maybe between the first season and the second season, where she was already older than the other cast members and so she maybe had a little work done so that she didn't look quite so old.

Nikki: So this is fresh off my brain.

Nikki: So I don't know any way to articulate this except I wonder if this storyline parallels a little bit of Dixie Carter's experience or is sort of like something that maybe truly is the way she would have reacted to all of this.

Nikki: Because it does sound like maybe she feels some acute sense of pressure related to her age on this show.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: How could you not?

Salina: Or just like, in general, I think whether it's on a show or in Hollywood, I often think about the scrutiny that they receive.

Salina: And it is like, almost too much for my if someone looks at me in the grocery store, I'm like, what are you looking?

Nikki: What do you want?

Nikki: Type of booger.

Salina: Yeah, exactly.

Salina: Do you see my cellulite?

Salina: I'm not even wearing shorts.

Nikki: Where are my pants?

Salina: Oh, God.

Salina: But I think the real struggle here is she doesn't feel needed anymore.

Nikki: Yeah.

Salina: Resident mom.

Salina: I don't need to be making that judgment call, but that was what I picked up on.

Nikki: I think she said that at one point she got off the phone and was like, sure, you don't need me anymore, or no.

Nikki: When he went into his room, that's what it was.

Nikki: When he went into his dorm room, she's like, sure, you don't need me anymore.

Nikki: I have no idea how I'm going to react when that day comes.

Nikki: I really don't know.

Nikki: But I think most moms go through some version of that as their kids grow up and out moms really love it after a few days.

Nikki: Other moms, I think, struggle with it more.

Nikki: I don't know.

Salina: Yeah, I think.

Salina: Well, right.

Salina: We're all humans and all react differently in situations and not everyone is going to react the same way.

Salina: But I think most of the moms I've known have at least had a ping of like yeah, you spend so.

Nikki: Lot 18 to 25 years, depending on what that lifespan or that education span and things like that.

Salina: Look.

Nikki: Like 18 to 25 years is a long time.

Nikki: And then just have them leave, and.

Salina: It feels like it just keeps getting.

Nikki: Longer, and they just yes, true.

Nikki: They're on your insurance till 25 till they turn 26, actually.

Nikki: It's like a quarter of your life, in a way.

Nikki: So it's a chapter and I think it's like every chapter in life you go through, I imagine some emotional struggle.

Nikki: So I don't think too hard on that because I'll start crying, but, okay.

Salina: Let'S not do that then.

Nikki: I'm sure a lot of moms do.

Nikki: They do struggle with that.

Nikki: Poor Julia.

Salina: Did you have other general reactions?

Nikki: I think you know what, they're under general reactions.

Nikki: But everything feels so stray.

Nikki: I thought, and resident non mom, maybe you can relate to this charlene's assumption about Suzanne wanting to have kids.

Nikki: I felt like was really relatable and then as was Suzanne's reaction.

Salina: It's really funny that you say that because on rewatch I was like, I wonder if Nikki's going to ask me how that hit me, because Suzanne's like.

Nikki: I'm sorry, what are you talking about?

Salina: Charlie says, and you haven't even started.

Nikki: Right.

Salina: Yeah, I think that reaction is about right.

Salina: Maybe not that I assure you.

Salina: I would do it with no mus and no fuss, which was funny.

Salina: And I think true to Suzanne, for me, I'm like, I would do it with all the mus and the fuss.

Salina: It would be very messy, quite terrible.

Nikki: I think Suzanne also would be I think we'd all be on a very messy journey with Suzanne having a baby.

Salina: Well, in that I can really I see you, Suzanne.

Nikki: Oh, God bless her.

Nikki: I just thought that was really funny.

Nikki: It was.

Nikki: So did you have more generals?

Salina: Just one is that we've talked before and I think recently, but about feeling empathetically embarrassed for characters on TV and in movies and I definitely had that baby carrying the watermelon and Dirty Dancing feeling with Julia in this one.

Nikki: Oh, when she was doing sweet Georgia.

Salina: Brown yeah, kind of.

Salina: Because I think that.

Salina: Is so out of character for her.

Salina: I think if it had been anyone else but she is so always composed.

Salina: Well, I mean, she does have her rants or whatever, but she's just very we've talked.

Nikki: Even in her rant, she's really articulate and in control.

Salina: Yes.

Salina: And this just seemed very off base from that.

Nikki: I did not think about it that way because I was so busy laughing at her.

Nikki: She's so extra.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: She's just having the time of her life.

Nikki: She was having a really good time.

Nikki: Oh, man.

Salina: Strays.

Nikki: So I have a guest star alert.

Nikki: When they're in the hallway at the dorms and Julia says something about the car alarm under her breath, it turns out it's Payne's Friends car alarm.

Nikki: Well, that character is played by Larry Cox, and he played a named character in Friends, which feels like a really big deal.

Nikki: His name was Arthur.

Nikki: He was in season six, episode 16.

Nikki: It was an alternate reality plotline, the one that could have been and I should have written down more about that episode.

Nikki: Sorry.

Nikki: But he was an actual character.

Nikki: And Friends.

Salina: Oh, that's interesting.

Salina: I thought you were going to tell me the car alarm was Kit from Joe Night Rider or something.

Nikki: That is a reference I am unlikely to have pulled out of my hat.

Salina: Yeah, I don't even know how that came about.

Salina: I'm way too young to know about Night Rider.

Nikki: Oh, yeah.

Nikki: No, for sure.

Nikki: I was trying to look up the plot of this episode real quick in case it's where Rachel?

Nikki: They're back in time.

Nikki: Rachel comes into Central Perk to say that Barry, her ex fiance, and Mindy, her ex maid of honor, are getting divorced because Mindy caught him cheating on her.

Salina: Yes.

Salina: I think I recently saw this one.

Salina: He's not Barry, is he?

Nikki: No, he's arthur.

Nikki: Arthur.

Nikki: Yeah.

Salina: Get it together, Salina.

Salina: And so this is the one.

Nikki: I saw this one recently, too, where Phoebe is like a high powered stockbroker.

Salina: She's, like, having a heart attack.

Nikki: She's having a heart attack.

Nikki: Yeah.

Nikki: But apparently Larry Cox, who's in this random episode of Designing Women is in a random episode of Friends.

Nikki: I just thought that was a big deal.

Nikki: If you get a named character on Friends, that's a big deal.

Salina: I would be fine with getting a named character.

Salina: It would be really weird if I got one now, because shows off the.

Nikki: Air, but well, yeah, that would be weird.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: Let's see.

Salina: What other straits did you have?

Nikki: I also had a cut line after.

Nikki: So they're in the hotel room trying to figure out where Julia is.

Nikki: Charlene says, Where could she be?

Nikki: They cut out.

Nikki: Someone says, you thinking what I'm thinking?

Nikki: I think we're all thinking the same thing.

Nikki: She's been in an accident.

Nikki: So the ladies were spiraling a little bit trying to figure out where Julia was.

Nikki: Okay, what strays did you have?

Salina: I have Charlie mentioning all the names for Grandmas.

Salina: Just had me thinking about the really specific Southern grandma names we have.

Salina: She mentioned some of them, but like Mama, mima mama.

Nikki: I called my grandma nanny.

Nikki: Is that southern?

Nikki: I don't know why I called her that.

Salina: Yeah, I'm not sure.

Salina: I think she mentions either Nanny or Nana, too.

Nikki: Nana?

Nikki: Yeah, she definitely did that one.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: I don't know.

Nikki: Call my other grandma Grandma.

Salina: Yeah, I call Grandma and Grandmamy.

Salina: And so I don't even use the Southern names.

Salina: Though certainly there are those in my family and there are those in Casey's family.

Salina: I like it in his, which is very Southern to me.

Salina: There's like descriptors.

Salina: So you know which mama it is?

Salina: Is it a little mama.

Salina: Is it Big Mama?

Salina: I got to tell you, the second somebody called me Big Mama, we're going to have to talk.

Nikki: So my parents my stepdad is Paul Paul, because his dad was my Paw Paul.

Nikki: I feel like Paul paul is pretty southern.

Salina: One papa's.

Salina: Yeah.

Nikki: And then double name.

Nikki: He's Paul Paul.

Nikki: I called my grandfather's Papa.

Nikki: Okay.

Nikki: My mom is Big Mama, and they just call her Big.

Nikki: And she chose that one.

Salina: Hey, if you choose hey, I'm just saying, if it's delivered to you, you might want to think twice.

Nikki: I like Granny.

Nikki: I love Granny.

Nikki: I like Nana.

Nikki: I have no fears at this moment about being a grandmother.

Nikki: I mean, I do, because my daughter's seven and my son's five, but at some point in the future, I'm not afraid to be a grandparent.

Nikki: It seems really fun.

Nikki: Sounds great.

Salina: Well, I think she had it nailed.

Salina: That's what Julia said.

Nikki: Yeah.

Salina: I do want to be a grandma.

Salina: The only thing is or I want grandkids.

Nikki: I want grandkids.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: But there's just one problem.

Salina: You have to be a grandma.

Salina: Yeah, actually, I mean, I'd be a grandparent.

Nikki: Sounds awesome.

Salina: It's the parent that struggles.

Nikki: It's the step in between that's required.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: Where they just like they need a lot.

Nikki: That's true.

Salina: But grandparents, I mean, you're dealing with this today, they get treated like royalty.

Salina: They do with your parents.

Nikki: They get bedtime.

Nikki: They get midnight snacks is what they call it.

Nikki: That one has blown my mind.

Nikki: I'm like, what is a midnight snack?

Nikki: You got like, Big brings me Oreos in bed.

Nikki: And I was like, what?

Nikki: Who is this woman who raised me?

Salina: That's right.

Salina: Nothing.

Nikki: Midnight snack.

Salina: That's right.

Nikki: My God.

Salina: And that's why being a grandparent is fun.

Salina: And then I just have to say that it is a very important relationship to me.

Salina: I love both my grandmas.

Nikki: Oh, sure.

Salina: Very much.

Salina: And so anytime grandmas come back up, I'm just like special people.

Salina: They really are.

Nikki: They're special people.

Salina: My Last Stray is about Julia's song and dance routine.

Salina: It has to be a nod to her burlesque in real life, which we learned about.

Nikki: God, I forgot about that.

Nikki: Yeah.

Salina: We learned about that during our Dixie Carter deep dive.

Salina: Well, you and I were, like, punch drunk when we did that episode.

Nikki: You're welcome.

Salina: I can't remember if I told you or not, but my friend was listening back.

Salina: She was like, that was hilarious.

Salina: You too sounded like maybe you all had done a little something beforehand.

Salina: And I was like, we drank punch.

Nikki: Oh, my God.

Nikki: That's crazy.

Salina: And I was, like, on empty stomachs.

Nikki: Yeah.

Salina: Anyways, I thought that she was really good.

Salina: I thought she did a really nice job.

Nikki: That's why I was surprised to hear that you had, like, a little bit of second hand embarrassment.

Salina: I think it was like yeah.

Salina: But I was sitting there thinking, like, if my mom did this, oh, I'd be like, sit down.

Nikki: Pain was so cool with it all.

Salina: I have thoughts about that, but I did think that this was one of the more obvious dub segments we're getting into.

Salina: The stray strays here.

Salina: I was like, oh, that's rough.

Nikki: Oh, I have to rewatch it.

Nikki: I didn't notice that.

Salina: Yeah, it's pretty rough.

Salina: This is what happens with high def television.

Nikki: Yeah, that's true.

Salina: We learned a long time ago that these scenes are her payment for any political rant.

Salina: But I just have to say that I actually went and looked back.

Salina: I don't see anything that is equitable to what we see here.

Salina: Maybe it was her birthday present or something, because she really hasn't ranted this season.

Nikki: And I don't remember the next few episodes.

Nikki: I have to rewatch those.

Nikki: I don't remember them.

Nikki: You don't think there's one coming up?

Nikki: Because there's this thing about the show where sometimes they film out of order of when they air.

Nikki: So is it possible that they've mixed it a little bit?

Salina: It's funny that you say what?

Nikki: This is brand new information.

Salina: I can't believe it.

Salina: It's funny that you say that, because look at I'm thinking about the future episodes.

Salina: I mean, they're just not really that.

Nikki: They'Re not like that season.

Salina: Isn't that political?

Nikki: Yeah, I guess that's true.

Salina: There are important issues that are raised, but I don't know that I would say they're politically divisive.

Nikki: Maybe it was her birthday.

Nikki: Now I have to look that up.

Salina: Let's see.

Salina: It won't matter.

Nikki: She's a may baby.

Nikki: May 25.

Salina: Not the right side of May, but.

Nikki: You can't be perfect.

Salina: You know, I feel comfortable saying that because there are other people that you love.

Nikki: Other early mates.

Nikki: Yeah.

Nikki: I have one more stray I wanted to mention.

Nikki: Okay.

Nikki: The manners in this episode were really on point.

Nikki: So first we had Julia introducing Payne to Scott, and Scott to Payne.

Nikki: When they found her in the room, it was almost like it was on autopilot.

Nikki: I feel like that was her Southern showing through.

Salina: Yeah.

Nikki: Charlene also said, we can't leave while Payne and Sylvia are still here.

Nikki: It wouldn't be good manners.

Nikki: I noticed that at the wedding.

Nikki: So I think that might mean it's time for welcome to Your Manners moment with Mrs.

Nikki: Maze.

Nikki: And I really had all intentions of updating that to make it sound better, but I ran out of time.

Nikki: So you mean your voice?

Nikki: Yes.

Salina: I kind of love it.

Salina: Like, the fact that it's muffled makes it better.

Salina: It's like a local NPR station.

Salina: Local?

Salina: Local?

Salina: Yeah, like hyper local.

Nikki: My closet local.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: I want to be very clear.

Salina: Like, local NPR.

Salina: You do a great job.

Nikki: You're doing fantastic.

Salina: The only amateurs around are Jiky and I, but there's something about that.

Salina: I like it.

Nikki: Okay, good, because I was going to say it would have to be like a season five gift to everybody for me to re record that, because there were steps and things, and it was.

Salina: A lot and I really like the music.

Nikki: I like the music.

Nikki: Very lovely.

Nikki: So what I thought we would do is talk about some wedding etiquette, because, I mean, we got a big wedding in this one.

Nikki: We can't not talk about etiquette.

Nikki: I think for us us, and we were just talking about this with a coronation.

Nikki: Like, we don't have a lot of fancy events.

Nikki: We're not high society people.

Nikki: We don't have a lot of fancy events.

Nikki: So if you go to a wedding, you and me I'm sorry, that's what I mean.

Nikki: I mean, Americans, too, just generally, but I guess there are galas and things like that, but we just don't have a lot of that.

Nikki: For us.

Nikki: Weddings might be like the social event of the season.

Nikki: For me, I don't know about I guess I can't speak on your behalf.

Salina: For me, they are, well, except for the Met gala, but yeah, right, okay.

Nikki: So, of course with formality comes manners and etiquette.

Nikki: So I thought maybe we should cover some of the basics of being a good guest at a wedding.

Salina: Yeah, let's make me feel bad about all the dumb things I've done in the past.

Salina: Go on.

Nikki: I don't know, because then I also found a couple of tips that surprised me and surprised me in the sense of, like, do we really have to tell people this stuff?

Nikki: So this might make you feel like a great guest that you don't have to be told these things.

Salina: Okay, don't show up drunk and show your tatas.

Nikki: That's not on my list, but good rule of thumb, do that.

Salina: You know what?

Salina: It's not really my call to make.

Salina: Good tip.

Salina: How dare I say?

Salina: How are those again?

Nikki: Okay, so here are five basic wedding guest rules.

Nikki: Number one, RSVP on time.

Nikki: This is important for the couple because they're making really big space and catering decisions.

Nikki: Do it on time, man.

Salina: It is expensive.

Nikki: It's expensive and you pay by the head, and you're paying regardless of whether they show up or not.

Salina: I think that is a very important one, and I do not think, by the way that you shared it, that this is the one that surprised you.

Salina: But I think people are terrible at RSVP.

Salina: Terrible.

Salina: Like, you shouldn't have to track someone down then just like, don't come.

Nikki: And this I will also put in a personal plug that this is for weddings.

Nikki: And also, like, anything you're invited to RSVP, they need to know whether you're coming or not.

Nikki: I felt terrible.

Nikki: Carolina got invited to a birthday party recently, and the invitation got lost in her backpack.

Nikki: And so I didn't know until like, two days before or three days before the event that she had been invited.

Nikki: So I reached out to the mom and I was like, oh, my gosh, I've missed your deadline for RSVPs.

Nikki: I'm so sorry.

Nikki: She was really gracious and of course was like, fine, please come.

Nikki: But I feel terrible.

Nikki: They're planning in this event, they're playing, like, pizza and cake and stuff.

Nikki: And they were probably going to have the same amount whether she came or not, but still, yeah, RSVP on time.

Nikki: People, on that note, abide by the plus one.

Nikki: So basically, if someone isn't addressed on the invitation, they should not be at the wedding.

Nikki: So if the invitation is addressed to you and a guest, you can bring a guest, but if it's addressed just to you, you're the only one invited.

Nikki: Don't be the person that brings an extra uninvited person.

Nikki: I think it's really awkward for everyone else.

Salina: It's very unacceptable.

Nikki: I had one person who came to my wedding, and I had invited her and her longtime boyfriend.

Nikki: And her and her longtime boyfriend broke up, so his name was on the invitation and they had broken up, so she ended up bringing someone else entirely, which I guess is fine because technically she had a plus one because of the ex boyfriend.

Nikki: But this was like a Rando that none of us knew.

Nikki: And there is nothing weirder than being at your wedding and looking out and being like, the most magical day of my who is that?

Nikki: Why am I giving him alcohol and food?

Nikki: Why is he here?

Salina: Who is this person?

Nikki: I never saw him again.

Salina: Oh, yeah, that does you know what I mean?

Nikki: The third one.

Nikki: Pay attention to all the details the couple has provided either on their website or with the invitation.

Nikki: The most annoying thing you can do is text a stressed bride three days before the wedding to ask whether or not there's a hotel block reserved for wedding guests.

Nikki: It's probably somewhere on a website or maybe with a bridesmaid.

Salina: Now, are you pulling that out of thin air or is that also so.

Nikki: I found a list of best etiquette tips, and I actually don't have a personal one on this one, but this is something people tend to do.

Nikki: They go to the bride.

Salina: I won't tell you on the mic.

Nikki: You have a story like this.

Salina: I do because if the person ever hears, they'll know I'm talking about them.

Nikki: And I can't it is so crazy to me that these people, the couple goes to all of these steps to plan out everything and to make everything easily accessible to you.

Nikki: And then what?

Nikki: You text them like two days before their wedding and ask them something.

Salina: And I do think it's important, though, to say that if you haven't been through the experience, you may not realize just how much the bride is juggling.

Salina: I do mean the bride.

Salina: So I do think it's like that does come with a little life experience.

Salina: I definitely know that 19 year old me did not understand what was going on.

Salina: I want to give people some a little bit of grace and wiggle room.

Salina: But if you're a 45 year old who's like calling up the bride an hour before the wedding, you need to chill out.

Nikki: So I'm really glad you're saying that because as I was writing some of these things down, I was feeling very judgy wedgie, and I sound very judgy wedgie because I've been through it.

Salina: It's an etiquette.

Nikki: I'm 37.

Nikki: But also part of the reason I'm bringing these up is because I do think there are some people who do not, whether culturally it's different in their culture, how weddings are handled, or maybe just generationally whatever, they don't know these things.

Nikki: That's why we're sharing it.

Salina: That's right.

Nikki: The fourth one is following the dress code.

Nikki: I personally hate a dress code for a wedding.

Nikki: You know this about me.

Nikki: You're laughing.

Salina: They're tough.

Nikki: They're really hard.

Salina: Also, some of it is like business smart.

Salina: What does that mean?

Nikki: What does it mean?

Salina: What does it mean?

Nikki: Yeah.

Nikki: And don't have a black tie wedding and have it at some random hotel.

Nikki: That's not black tie.

Nikki: That just annoys me.

Nikki: It's so extra.

Nikki: But if a couple requests it and you say you're going to come to their wedding, then you owe it to them to follow the dress code.

Nikki: And there are some perennial rules whether there is a dress code or not.

Nikki: If they don't specify a dress code, there are some rules.

Nikki: Don't wear white if you're not the bride, just don't do it.

Nikki: It's just poor form.

Nikki: And don't wear provocative or flashy things.

Nikki: I don't get overly whatever about those things.

Nikki: But there's just a time and a place for certain outfits.

Nikki: And just generally speaking, you should know what those times and places right now.

Nikki: And you don't have to use your fingers to show me what those tassels would be.

Nikki: You can stop right now on my eyebrows.

Nikki: And then the fifth one, that of just like tips.

Nikki: These are not tips.

Nikki: These are not the ones that necessarily surprised me.

Nikki: Although this one kind of did.

Nikki: You should attend both the wedding and the reception if you're a wedding guest.

Nikki: I didn't realize this was a question.

Nikki: Like I think of them as an all in one event.

Nikki: So I never would have thought of this as an etiquette rule to mention, but actually, some people do mentally separate the two out and will only show up to one or the other.

Salina: I think I would be more annoyed if someone only showed up to the reception.

Nikki: Right.

Nikki: They skip the pain part.

Nikki: They skip the sitting in church or sit in front of the minister part.

Salina: We all need to ask ourselves why we have a pain part for something.

Nikki: I love a wedding.

Nikki: Personally, I love a wedding.

Nikki: I bet my husband would call the wedding ceremony kind of a little bit of a pain part.

Nikki: It's boring.

Salina: It kind of depends.

Salina: There's been a couple of weddings where Georgia is hot, hot outside and melting.

Salina: And I think that does make it tougher where that kind of sticks in your brain.

Salina: I've been like, your dress is sticking to your b***.

Salina: More so than, like, the beauty of a ceremony.

Salina: I also like short and sweet.

Salina: Yes, but, hey, it's your wedding.

Nikki: You do whatever you want.

Nikki: I love a wedding.

Nikki: If I get invited to a wedding, if I say I can't come, it is truly a huge favorite part of a wedding.

Salina: The ceremony.

Nikki: My favorite part of the ceremony.

Nikki: There's the easy answer of, like, when everybody else is looking at the bride, I turn and look at the groom.

Nikki: I really do love to see his reaction to whichever partner is standing up waiting.

Nikki: I like to see their reaction when the other one comes down because there's a little bit of a flashiness and a showmanship to it.

Nikki: But I also just really love listening to the vowels.

Nikki: I love to see which direction people go.

Nikki: Are they going the traditional whatever vowel?

Nikki: Are they writing their own?

Salina: I've never heard anyone write their own vowels.

Nikki: Kyle and I wrote our own.

Salina: Did you really?

Nikki: I have a copy of mine.

Nikki: I mean, I have multiple copies, but he actually printed one out on, like, a piece of metal for me to hang on the wall.

Nikki: It hasn't been hung yet, but I have it.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: That's so nice.

Salina: You'd be the one.

Nikki: I just couldn't bring myself to do something like just repeating something.

Nikki: I wanted it to mean something to us, something that we both wanted, so we did nice.

Nikki: His were probably slightly better than mine, but it's because I also just claw for really sweet information.

Nikki: So, like, when he was saying it, I was, like, crying.

Nikki: He didn't cry at all.

Nikki: But I like the vows.

Salina: What about you around?

Nikki: What's your favorite part?

Salina: Yeah, I think it probably is the I don't know.

Salina: I don't want to put that much attention on a man.

Salina: I actually think I like to see how people made that part unique, like what they did to make it stand out from other things.

Nikki: You mean the the ceremony itself.

Salina: Okay, so for me why I love the written vows.

Salina: That's a good point.

Salina: Because it's one of the few.

Salina: It's not like you have that much to play with.

Salina: Right.

Salina: But for me it was.

Salina: And I remember I'm like, I don't think my mother in law ever listened to this, but, Cindy, if you do, I totally understand where you're coming from.

Salina: But she was flabbergasted that I wanted to have snacks and drinks at the ceremony.

Salina: And she was like, you want someone, like, snacking down on something?

Salina: Like?

Nikki: Yes, I do.

Salina: Absolutely.

Salina: I was like, I want them drunk and I want them having a good time.

Salina: Everyone in the audience needs to be lubricated for me to walk down it, which that was a terrible word to use, but you know what I'm saying?

Salina: That was very important to me.

Salina: I want it because I have been to so many weddings, too, and this makes sense.

Salina: It's not normal, but where I was just so thirsty or so hungry, and you're just like, Wait.

Salina: And my highest bar was to make sure that everyone felt as comfortable as possible in a situation that sometimes just isn't, frankly, that comfortable.

Nikki: Well, your wedding was kind of the perfect comfort because it was outside.

Nikki: My favorite thing is to be outside.

Nikki: I love to eat outside.

Nikki: I love to hang outside.

Nikki: My wedding was outside.

Nikki: I just love an outdoors wedding.

Nikki: Yours was, like, cool.

Nikki: So it wasn't like I've been to outdoor weddings where I'm just drenched in sweat.

Nikki: Like, one friend had a beautiful wedding in a field, but it was in June in Georgia, and I was just drenched.

Nikki: So yours was like the perfect time of year, that crisp coolness of the fall.

Nikki: It was a little chilly.

Nikki: I do remember being a little chilly, but I would rather be chilly than hot any day of the week.

Nikki: So mine was like Memorial Day weekend in Georgia.

Nikki: And it can go either way.

Nikki: Like, right now, we're right almost at Memorial Day and it freaking freezing.

Salina: Could have gone either way.

Nikki: That's true.

Salina: It could have been nice.

Salina: I didn't know what was going to happen.

Nikki: That's true.

Salina: Because I had, like, cider out there.

Salina: I had spike cider out there.

Salina: I think we had coffee out there.

Salina: I needed people to be comfortable.

Salina: Also made y'all drive to Delanica.

Nikki: Yeah, it was a lovely drive in the fall, though.

Salina: It's so nice about it.

Salina: Look at her wedding.

Nikki: I love a wedding.

Nikki: I love a wedding.

Nikki: I just love them.

Nikki: Okay, so back to the segment.

Nikki: I just love weddings, and I'm to the age now where I'm just not getting invited to that many.

Nikki: So now I'm just starting to think about crashing them because I just love weddings.

Salina: That could be a new era.

Salina: Yeah.

Nikki: Wedding crasher.

Nikki: Nikki all right, let's touch on some things that for me, we're just like, really, we have to tell people these things, but maybe we really do have to tell people these things.

Nikki: So first of all, don't announce a pregnancy or an engagement of your own at someone else's wedding.

Nikki: That counts as stealing their thunder.

Nikki: Sure, this is their day.

Nikki: Let them have their day, right?

Salina: No, but I am going to disagree with you.

Salina: I think that people are pretty selfish.

Salina: So you probably need to get that out there.

Nikki: You need to share it.

Nikki: Well, maybe this next one.

Nikki: Don't steal their photographer.

Nikki: So I was reading that sometimes people hijack the wedding photographer to take their own family photos during the reception.

Nikki: Wedding photographer is not, like, communal property.

Nikki: Like, the couple paid these people a lot of money for them to capture their wedding memories.

Nikki: Why are people not your Christmas card picture?

Salina: They, like, going there and they're doing their pregnancy announcement pictures.

Nikki: This is what I'm saying.

Salina: So they're like getting their pictures taken.

Salina: They're like, we're at you.

Nikki: This is what I'm saying.

Nikki: This is what I'm saying.

Nikki: Or, like, they really are.

Nikki: Because I do understand for older families, more established families, this might be the time to get their teenagers dressed up and looking nice and like, taking a family picture.

Nikki: But that's not what the wedding photographer is for.

Nikki: Don't do that.

Nikki: Bring your own photographer.

Nikki: Don't, don't.

Nikki: Actually, that's also poor etiquette.

Salina: They like, put on Christmas sweaters and they're like, let's just get it taken care of.

Salina: Although with that, I'm like, good multitasking.

Salina: It's.

Nikki: Good multitasking.

Salina: It is.

Nikki: And that's why I feel like if you can do it discreetly away from the couple, feel free.

Nikki: Just don't use their photographer.

Nikki: That's just tacky.

Nikki: That's just tacky.

Salina: So weird.

Salina: Okay.

Nikki: Third, don't post pictures of the wedding online before the couple does.

Nikki: So, again, this goes along with that number one.

Nikki: One about, like, not stealing their thunder.

Nikki: Let them do their thing on their own terms.

Nikki: Let them announce it.

Salina: First, every wedding, I'm going to post a picture of me and Casey, my forever wedding date.

Nikki: Hashtag forever wedding date.

Nikki: And on that note, don't take pictures during the ceremony.

Nikki: Apparently people do that.

Nikki: That's just tacky, too.

Nikki: Fourth, if the wedding reception introduces you to traditions or food you're not used to, don't remark loudly how weird that is.

Nikki: That's rude.

Nikki: Just at any event or a dinner or any social engagement, but, like, especially at a wedding.

Nikki: So the article I read where I pulled all these things from gave a specific example of someone from Cuba who incorporated Cuban traditions into their wedding, and then they had guests, like, rudely proclaiming how weird the food or the tradition was.

Nikki: How awful.

Salina: That's so weird to me.

Salina: And I would be so excited to try something new instead of these melba toast weddings that there often are, like, something new and different.

Salina: I mean, I had a melba toast wedding, too, so it's no shade, but.

Nikki: Like, you know, the last one, I swear, we're an hour into this and I'm I'm almost done.

Nikki: I'm going to reiterate the importance of RSVPing appropriately and showing up.

Nikki: If you've said you're going to show up, there just really is nothing worse than the couple having already paid for a meal for you and then you don't show up or that you bring someone else.

Nikki: So that one just needs to be repeated as many times as possible.

Nikki: RSVP and stick to your RSVP.

Nikki: So we like a good wedding guest.

Nikki: Speaking of things we liked, Salina, what did you like in this episode?

Salina: That was very nice.

Salina: I liked Suzanne's face in reaction to Julia's near strip tease during the reception.

Salina: It was like somewhere between, I'm loving this, I'm going to get her later.

Salina: But also like a little like a tinge of admiration.

Salina: Again, she has good facework.

Nikki: Yeah.

Salina: How about you?

Nikki: Like I said at the top, I thought this was just a fresh take on a shotgun wedding storyline.

Nikki: I liked the focus being on the new mother in lawgrammatobee struggle versus that.

Nikki: Like you're throwing your life away.

Nikki: I really liked that.

Nikki: And then just the whole idea of Julia having a one night stand is glorious to me.

Nikki: It's just glorious.

Salina: Yes.

Salina: I have her walk of shame into the hallway and reaction to pain coming back into the room.

Salina: All of that was just really good.

Salina: So funny.

Salina: I like Suzanne fighting the house mother.

Nikki: Oh, yeah.

Nikki: She's just some frumpy old lady.

Salina: It's an epic SmackDown.

Salina: And then Julia waltzing out with the bat at the end.

Salina: There's a runner in there we haven't talked about but about car alarms.

Salina: And she just goes out there like whilst fighting off what must be a terrible hangover because she's had it.

Salina: We've heard three car alarms now.

Nikki: She really does not enjoy a car alarm.

Salina: That's right.

Nikki: That's all I had that I liked.

Nikki: You ready to move on to things you didn't like?

Salina: Let's do it.

Salina: So this is I alluded to earlier.

Salina: I was going to get around to this so I could maybe get on board with this idea that Payne wouldn't have been mortified by his mom running around and singing with the near strip tees at his wedding and hanging all over his friend or them hanging all over each other.

Salina: Okay, let's not put all that on Julia.

Salina: But then he says, you're going to make one sexy grandma.

Nikki: Yeah, that was weird.

Salina: What?

Nikki: Yeah.

Salina: What?

Salina: Hold on.

Salina: What?

Salina: I will tell you from just about every man I've ever known, okay.

Salina: They don't even want to think about the word sexy in the same world as their mother.

Salina: So it was like someone who doesn't know someone with a mother wrote that line.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: It was just weird.

Salina: Yeah, that was cannot see that happening.

Nikki: That's true.

Salina: Also, this is not I did not like but just one more stray.

Salina: That's what she's saying to him.

Salina: Georgia Brown as a child.

Salina: Now I can't.

Nikki: Right off the top of my head, remember the lyrics.

Nikki: But I do remember thinking, what a strange choice.

Salina: I'm I'm pretty sure Sweet Georgia Brown is supposed to be in reference to a prostitute.

Salina: I couldn't 100% confirm that, but that was what everything contextually was telling me and so that's just a little strange.

Salina: How about you?

Nikki: I didn't have anything I didn't like.

Salina: But those are good ones.

Nikki: No.

Salina: Speaking of, jump right on into that rating.

Nikki: So my rating scale is one night regrets?

Nikki: I'm giving it a four out of a five.

Nikki: So I liked how they played Payne's wedding and Julia's reaction to it.

Nikki: Overall, it was a silly plotline.

Nikki: I liked it.

Nikki: I liked getting to see Julia's reaction to it all.

Nikki: I probably should have had at least one thing I didn't like.

Nikki: Let's go with the pain.

Nikki: Calling his mom sexy.

Nikki: It just was like, silly.

Nikki: It was enjoyable.

Nikki: I liked watching it a couple of times.

Nikki: Wasn't top tier sort of stuff, but it was a good, solid run.

Nikki: I liked it.

Salina: So I think your reaction is, right, I'm going to steal that.

Salina: Because I think that's exactly it.

Salina: It wasn't top tier, but it was fun.

Salina: It's fun.

Salina: That's the best summary.

Nikki: We've hit a little bit of a string of episodes like that lately.

Salina: And it's hard because there were some and this happens sometimes in this show.

Salina: It's probably because they moved the episodes around, but there's some really strong ones in the beginning.

Salina: And so when we're doing something like this weird thing that we do, where we're rating episodes of TV from 1990, it's hard to then not reflect on highs.

Nikki: We just know what a five out of a five on this show looks like and this is not it.

Nikki: But, like, only because it can perform even better.

Salina: Yeah.

Nikki: It's not as unenjoyable.

Salina: Exactly.

Salina: A four is good.

Salina: There's been very few episodes of this show that I have just been like.

Nikki: No.

Salina: I think that's really saying something because we have to watch these episodes really closely.

Salina: You don't know what you don't know until you know it and you know it.

Salina: I gave it 3.8 out of five impromptu yet perfectly choreographed dance numbers.

Salina: I cannot say that again.

Salina: Nor three times fast.

Nikki: Fine.

Salina: I also just like seeing Julia lose her composure or do something that reminds.

Nikki: Me loose a little bit.

Salina: That's right.

Salina: Remind us she's human.

Nikki: Yeah.

Salina: Because it's not always clear, 90s things.

Nikki: I didn't have anything.

Salina: I have settle back.

Salina: I have a dance for you.

Salina: Sweet Georgia Brown.

Salina: Star Search.

Salina: Junior.

Salina: That's my audition.

Salina: Or Junior star Search.

Salina: I said american Idol 1.0 I think that's right.

Nikki: So it was a talent competition style TV show that ran from 1983 to 1995.

Nikki: I don't think I knew that it was on that long.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: Into the 90s.

Nikki: It was hosted by Ed McMahon and it was kind of a precursor to I think it's more like America's Got Talent because it was a talent competition, not necessarily singing.

Nikki: So there were a couple of categories specifically for juniors, and the show is credited with being a launch pad for several young performers.

Nikki: I was just telling Kyle this the other day.

Nikki: He was like, that's a weird reference to have in 2023.

Nikki: Where did that come from?

Nikki: And I was like, well, I was researching for the podcast that singer Tiffany I think we're alone now.

Nikki: Tiffany was the first Star Search performer to land a number one hit after appearing on the competition.

Nikki: Leanne Rhimes also made an appearance on the show, as did Adam Sandler, Alanis Morissette, Britney Spears and Bill Ingvall, who we'll talk about in episode 21.

Nikki: Not necessarily all on junior Star Search, but on the broader Star Search show.

Nikki: Okay.

Salina: Yeah, I think Brittany is probably the most famous.

Nikki: I really think all of like, Brittany, I'm pretty sure Justin Timberlake did.

Nikki: I think I will link to this in the show notes.

Nikki: Christina Aguilera, I'm pretty sure, was on it.

Nikki: So, like, that entire generation of performers was on Star Search at one point in time.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: I wasn't really an avid watcher, but I did pop it on a few times, maybe.

Nikki: I don't know that I've ever watched it, but maybe I did.

Nikki: Maybe my parents had it on.

Nikki: I don't remember watching it, but I definitely remember reading about it when I was learning about Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake and all those people.

Salina: Right.

Salina: I feel like that's how it's more cemented in the culture now, being a vehicle for these big careers.

Salina: I'm sorry, I can't remember if I.

Nikki: Said spandex already, but I think I interrupted you.

Salina: How dare you?

Salina: But I think that definitely makes me feel like 90s.

Salina: Charlene's dress at the wedding was a really big reminder for me that we're headed into that 90s fashion.

Salina: Peter Pan collar.

Salina: It's lace.

Salina: It was over like a dark velvet.

Salina: I'm almost sure if it wasn't dark velvet, it looked like it was dark velvet.

Nikki: Gosh darn it.

Nikki: I should have opened up my middle school yearbook because I'm pretty sure my 6th grade picture I am wearing a dress very much like that.

Salina: Yes.

Salina: I definitely had a dress that looked similar to that, which is like, why sometimes do we dress women like little girls on this show?

Nikki: Or why do we dress little girls like old women?

Salina: Yes.

Nikki: What is happening both ways?

Nikki: Either way, why was that a look?

Nikki: Just in general, I think, is the problem we have here.

Nikki: That dress that they were wearing, it's.

Salina: Good because you can catch the food.

Nikki: A little bit of a bib.

Salina: There's, like, some movement in it so you can dance around.

Nikki: I do remember feeling beautiful in it, which is a funny thing to think about now, but I do remember feeling like I looked really beautiful.

Salina: Like I just said, I'm sure you were like, I said, you don't know what you don't know until you know it.

Salina: And there's nothing like 35 years of time to be like, was that the best decision?

Nikki: Not sure.

Salina: The bride had a very oversized bow on, which I keep seeing again in recent years.

Salina: I love a bow that also rings young to me.

Salina: Because you see, like, little girls and big floppy bows.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: In Southern.

Salina: You were wasted.

Salina: It's not like you heaved.

Salina: Both of these felt like very 90s things to say.

Salina: Southern things.

Nikki: The only Southern thing I had was Julia snapping green beans on the couch.

Salina: Same references we need to talk about.

Salina: Well, you're whittling your list now.

Salina: No.

Nikki: Well, I had Noriega all holed up in that embassy and I spent a really long time going down a rabbit hole.

Nikki: And then I went back to the blog post and saw that you had already linked an article, don't you?

Nikki: So you also did it.

Salina: I'm going to talk about the songs because I think the bottom line is yes, this is the thing that happened exactly what she said, which is they started blasting rock music.

Salina: They being the military, were blasting loud music at him at deafening volumes around the clock.

Salina: It happened for a really long time.

Nikki: Because they couldn't enter the building because he had diplomatic immunity being in an embassy location.

Nikki: So they reverted to blasting the rock music.

Salina: Right.

Salina: Which I think so apparently I do want to just tack on real quickly because I think the music is actually the more interesting part of all of it.

Nikki: Fantastic.

Nikki: People are creative.

Salina: Many people were not pleased with this musical approach.

Salina: I think it's better than like, a doing something you're not supposed to do, which is invading an embassy or doing something violent.

Nikki: What I read was that the president thought it was undignified.

Salina: That's right.

Nikki: Okay.

Nikki: Death is more dignified.

Salina: So some of these songs, do you have any of them written down?

Nikki: Welcome to the Jungle by Guns and Roses, wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi.

Nikki: I just pulled a sticker, one of my children's stickers off from the back of my shirt.

Nikki: I've just been walking around with that on.

Nikki: Welcome to the jungle.

Nikki: Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi The end by the doors.

Nikki: They also rick rolled him playing Never Going to Give You Up by Rick ashley that was my favorite.

Nikki: Those are the ones I had.

Salina: Okay.

Salina: They also play Give It Up by Casey and the Sunshine Band.

Salina: No.

Salina: Mr.

Salina: Nice Guy by Alice Cooper.

Salina: Paranoid by Black Sabbath.

Nikki: I mean, it was really kind of jammed.

Salina: Right, right.

Salina: Panama by Van Halen.

Nikki: So some of these songs came about because they put a call out to troops to make requests.

Nikki: And so that's how some of these wanted dead or Alive sort of themed things came about.

Nikki: That's the part that made me laugh the hardest.

Salina: I see danger Zone, Kenny Hawkins sorry if I'm saying what you said.

Salina: I tried to remember them all.

Salina: Refugee.

Salina: Did you say that one by Tom Petty?

Salina: And then I Fought the Law and.

Nikki: Yeah, that's a good one.

Salina: I think that might have been the one right before they actually got him was I Fought the Law.

Nikki: Okay.

Nikki: One part that was a little misty to me.

Nikki: So it happened in December of 1989.

Nikki: He surrendered in early January.

Nikki: What I read was that they actually stopped the music pretty quickly because the president thought it was so undignified.

Nikki: So it didn't seem like it lasted all that long.

Salina: Right.

Nikki: He was holed up.

Salina: Might be some holes in the story since it's because I think you were probably reading the same retrospective.

Nikki: I think I was.

Nikki: That's how it all came about, is I was like, she's already looked into this.

Nikki: Yeah.

Nikki: I thought I was just going to come in and blow your mind.

Nikki: I also had tear sheets.

Nikki: This comes up a couple of times.

Nikki: Suzanne said it after having breakfast with Tinka Ford.

Nikki: And then I was watching an episode this morning, and what I can't remember now if it's one of the ones we're going to talk about today, but tear sheets has come up a couple of times this season.

Nikki: Apparently, this is like a one pager or a flyer that has a small picture of the item and other details, like colors and price.

Nikki: Did you know what that was?

Salina: I had to look it up.

Nikki: Yeah.

Nikki: I think it's just a nice little example of small, accurate interior design details that they work into the show.

Nikki: Like no, really?

Nikki: These are interior designers.

Salina: I felt like this will come up in some future episodes, but there are some things that they are doing that I'm like.

Salina: Wow.

Salina: The level of detail here is really impressive.

Salina: It's like we can't get them off the Sugar Baker set and we don't give them enough money to make some of the sets look nice.

Salina: So we are going to put every effort that we can into every small detail that they will actually give us money for.

Salina: And I do think that that is something yeah.

Nikki: And we talked when we did the Annie Pot segment, we talked about her sister in real life was an interior designer and how maybe that played into the show.

Nikki: I do wonder what that feedback loop looks like.

Nikki: Like, if Annie Pots really had a lot of input into the script right.

Nikki: Or if they really I mean, tearsheet is not like mind breaking stuff.

Nikki: I just didn't know what it was.

Salina: Yeah.

Nikki: Could also be generational.

Nikki: Like, maybe.

Nikki: Tear sheets aren't a thing anymore.

Salina: I think they are.

Salina: I think they're just digital now.

Nikki: Mood board.

Nikki: Like that?

Salina: Yes.

Salina: Actually, that's exactly what they said it was.

Salina: Mood boards.

Salina: Okay.

Salina: Payne uses the phrase terra incognita.

Salina: Did you know what that was?

Nikki: You tell me.

Salina: It's a Cartographer's term for regions.

Salina: That haven't been mapped or documented.

Salina: And he says, Tara incognita, mom.

Salina: No women allowed.

Salina: Anyways, I just didn't know what it was, so I looked it up.

Nikki: It felt like a military term to me.

Salina: Yes, I think that's right.

Salina: Well, I guess it's a cartographer's term.

Salina: But you know what?

Salina: I bet you that there are some cartographers in the military or that the.

Nikki: Military took their term.

Salina: And then I also had Sweet Georgia Brown, only to say that it is kind of a Southern reference, too.

Salina: So it's composed in 1925 by Ben Bernie and MaCio Pinkard with lyrics by Kenneth Casey.

Salina: The name is connected to Georgia because apparently one of the guys who was involved in making it ran into a longtime member of the Georgia State House of Representatives, dr.

Salina: George Thaddeus Brown.

Nikki: That's such a 19 hundreds name, isn't it?

Salina: Who spoke of his daughter, Georgia Brown.

Salina: And apparently when she was born, the Georgia General Assembly had issued a declaration that she was to be named Georgia after the state.

Salina: And it's referenced directly in the song with Georgia claimed her, georgia named her.

Salina: And I just wanted to say that.

Salina: So they took that and they were like, cool, cool.

Salina: And then they made it about a sex worker.

Nikki: If you saw that look on my face, our notes were reading almost exactly the same and I was trying to square that with what you had said earlier about it being about a sex worker.

Nikki: And then I was trying to remember what I knew about it.

Salina: Again, I want to say that I never directly but it feels everything about it.

Salina: Some of Julia's movements during the dance, like all of that.

Salina: Can I just share one thing with you, too, that I was thinking about as a reference?

Nikki: Oh, you're done.

Salina: She gets Nancy Reagan's book as a gadget.

Salina: I don't want to talk about Nancy Reagan's book.

Salina: Whatever.

Salina: People can look that up.

Salina: What I wanted to talk about was the idea of gag gifts.

Salina: Like, why is that a thing?

Salina: Wouldn't you just rather get someone a real gift?

Nikki: If you're going to spend money on something, make it something they're going to like.

Salina: What are they going to do with a gag?

Nikki: Okay, that's true.

Salina: That's all.

Salina: What did you have?

Nikki: I have one more reference.

Nikki: Danny Boy.

Nikki: That's what Charlene said.

Nikki: She was surprised Julia didn't sing.

Nikki: It's an English song that was written in 1913.

Nikki: The important part is my touch tone to the song is Schitt's Creek when Moira Rose sings it at a funeral.

Salina: Yeah.

Nikki: Apparently the song is about a mother sending her son off to war, so it's really sad.

Nikki: So I guess it gets played at funerals.

Nikki: I'm not sure why Charlene would have thought it would have been played at a wedding, but maybe because Julia's sad about losing her son.

Salina: Maybe.

Salina: Because who would sing their son Sweet Georgia Brown?

Salina: Yeah, there's so many.

Nikki: True.

Salina: There's so many.

Nikki: It's true.

Nikki: All right, so next episode, season four, episode 20 Tornado Watch.

Nikki: We'd love everyone to follow along with us and engage Instagram and Facebook at sweet tea and TV.

Nikki: TikTok at sweet.

Nikki: Ttvpod.

Nikki: YouTube at sweet.

Nikki: TTV 7371.

Nikki: This is my first time reading that.

Salina: What is it?

Salina: Sweet Tea.

Nikki: Just sweet tea and TV.

Salina: Yeah.

Nikki: Our email address is

Nikki: I should rehearse this more and maybe it would be a little more seamless.

Salina: Oh, I like it.

Nikki: And our website is

Nikki: On that website you can find our show notes, where we put all of our references.

Nikki: You can also find other ways to support the show from the Support US page.

Nikki: Come back Thursday.

Nikki: We're going to have an extra sugar about shotgun weddings.

Nikki: Does that sound like a shotgun?

Salina: Like identical?

Salina: Like, I know what a shotgun.

Salina: You know what that means?

Nikki: What does it mean, Salina?

Salina: It means we'll see you around the bin.

Salina: Bye.


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