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Designing Women S5 E12 - Bernice Struts Her Stuff on Public Access

Updated: Jan 12

Bernice is back baby! And she has a new, red hot public access TV show for the blue hairs. Dare we say it’s…titillating? (Sure, but just don’t shorten it.) Simultaneously, Mary Jo gets wined and dined by a serial dater, who then breaks her heart. Is revenge in the air…or on the air? Yes.

Her plot inspired this week’s sidebar all about romance and revenge. Then come back Thursday for a very special Extra Sugar dedicated to the very final episodes of The Crown

Come on y’all, let’s get into it! 

Dive deeper with these reads:



Salina: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Sweet Tea & TV.

Salina: What a string of these, where I've messed up every single introduction.

Salina: Three in a row.

Salina: Three up, three down.

Salina: They're all bad.

Nikki: Means you're batting 100, right?

Salina: 100 on the fail.

Salina: Yes.

Salina: Well, thank you for joining us, regardless of how well we open an episode.

Salina: And by we, I mean me, are you ready to kick this one off?

Nikki: Jumping straight into season five, episode twelve.

Nikki: And now here's Bernice.

Nikki: The Hulu episode description is Anthony and the ladies help Bernice launch her own cable television show, while Mary Jo gets her heart broken by a handsome client.

Nikki: Air date December 17, 1990 we're calling this one Bernice struts her stuff on public access.

Nikki: It was written by Dee Laduke and Mark Alton Brown and directed by David Trainor.

Nikki: A little IMDb trivia, this go round that Delta Burke disappears in the final act of this episode due to the ongoing tension with series producers.

Nikki: And just in general, she's getting less screen time.

Nikki: That is what you just talked about in last week's extra trigger.

Salina: That's true.

Salina: So if y'all didn't hear that one, you might want to go back just to get a little behind the scenes knowledge there, since it's a pretty complete timeline that some folks have put together on what happened with designing women.

Nikki: Yeah.

Nikki: So what do you have in terms of general reactions?

Salina: Bernice, where have you been all of our lives?

Salina: We have not seen Bernice since Anthony's birthday.

Salina: That was, like, the second episode.

Nikki: Wow.

Nikki: Has it been that long?

Salina: That's, like, a long time.

Nikki: That's a very long time.

Salina: She's pretty around these days.

Salina: That sounded worse than I meant for it, too.

Salina: But she's, like, on the show a lot.

Salina: And so I thought that was kind of.

Salina: I wonder if she was, like, doing a play or something at that time.

Salina: But I can't help but think of the great addition that she would have been in some of these other episodes, particularly Charlene's haunted house in the Bachelor auction.

Nikki: Oh, she would have been great in the bachelor auction for.

Salina: Was primed for.

Nikki: You know, it's so funny we're on the same wavelength because my very first general reaction is that Bernice infuses something special into every episode she's in.

Nikki: And I do wonder if she's possibly underused and what's the reason for that?

Nikki: What's the behind the scenes drama for your mama behind that?

Nikki: Salina?

Salina: So I don't know any of that, but that might be something worth looking into.

Salina: And one thing that I will say though, is we're kind of circling our last hurrah here with Gene Smart and Delta Burke, is that it is my memory that we get a whole lot more Bernice in season six and season seven.

Salina: And that alone is enough for me to give it a shot.

Nikki: It sounds like it can't be that.

Salina: Bad and, like, more Anthony.

Nikki: Yeah, right.

Salina: So the whole time we've talked about more Anthony, more Bernice, and then we're going to get more Anthony, more Bernice, and we'll be upset about.

Nikki: It just feels weird.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: Something to think about as we kind of round the corner in the show.

Nikki: Even with it being said that she is a high point in the show and just brings something special with everything.

Nikki: This episode, to me, really dragged.

Nikki: And that is probably my number one reaction, is it felt really slow.

Nikki: It took two thirds of the episode just to get to Bernice's show and see her on air.

Nikki: And then maybe that was, like, a lot of build up for what ends up being kind of a wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.

Nikki: Payoff.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: Especially the very, very end.

Salina: Like the revenge.

Nikki: Revenge.

Salina: The revolve.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: I'm not sure it really worked.

Salina: There could have been better revenge and it's been executed better in other shows.

Salina: Like, I'm thinking of Sex in the City.

Salina: Samantha gets cheated on.

Salina: She puts posters up all over the city of the guy.

Salina: And if you see this, it just.

Salina: It visually worked better.

Salina: It landed a little funnier.

Salina: I just think it was even the last line that Mary Jo says where she's like, do not date this man.

Salina: And I'm like, it just felt like it could have been stronger.

Salina: It needed a little bit more punch.

Salina: Speaking of these two things together, it's unholy, unclear to me what is the a and what is the b here?

Salina: Because there's part of me that it feels like the episode is named after Bernice.

Salina: But usually the b is small.

Salina: There's not a lot to it.

Salina: We spend a lot of time on what's going on with Mary Jo.

Salina: To your point, we don't get to the public access show until the last two and a half.

Salina: Just.

Salina: I don't know.

Salina: This is unanswerable, but I think that speaks to what you're saying about maybe the balance is not there.

Nikki: I hear you.

Nikki: I was wondering.

Nikki: Another thing I thought about as I was watching this episode is a criticism, maybe that you've had of the show is that Mary Jo never really seems to get an adequate amount of airtime.

Nikki: And, like, the jogging episode is where it came up most recently where you felt like we had a Mary Jo storyline that gets co opted by Julia.

Nikki: So we've had a string now, at least these last two episodes we've talked about have been very Mary Jo focused, her and her daughter and then this episode, her and Donald.

Nikki: Are you feeling maybe like she's getting finally a little bit of due or are you feeling like you still don't think she gets enough?

Salina: So my other argument is once they finally give her something, I'm not sure they ever give her something that's fitting for, like, coming into this entire show.

Salina: Mary Jo was always, like, a favorite character for me, but now digging into the just I don't feel like Annie Potts was really allowed to shine like she could in this.

Salina: And I think we've talked about this before, but I think it remains true.

Salina: I'll be curious to see because I haven't watched season six and seven probably in like twelve years, so I don't remember her individual plotlines, really.

Salina: And so maybe it gets better.

Salina: I think just based on the reception of those seasons, that's probably not the case.

Salina: But I just think too about it's so funny to see know we're watching this now, but in real life, young Sheldon is about to go off the air.

Salina: Almost every time we post something about Mary Jo to instagram, someone is talking about Ma.

Salina: And I just think I'm so happy for Annie Potts as an actor because I feel like that is a role she was really allowed to shine in because I think she is a really good actor.

Salina: I don't know that answered your questions, but those are my thoughts.

Nikki: No, that's what I was wondering.

Nikki: I am trying to think in a parallel universe what kind of plotlines would allow her to shine.

Nikki: And so one of the things we know, we talked about this at some point, either in our Annie Potts segment or while we were talking about Jean Smart's pregnancy, but that Annie Potts was pregnant and they weren't allowed to pursue a pregnancy storyline because they didn't, quote unquote, want two pregnant women on the show.

Nikki: Right.

Nikki: So what is that line for her character that would have looked better?

Salina: Yeah.

Nikki: Because this has all been dating men this season.

Salina: I think part of the problem might be that this was not enough of a character actor role.

Salina: I think maybe she could have been better at.

Nikki: Yeah, yeah, that's a good point.

Salina: Also, I did read somewhere the other reason they wouldn't let it wasn't just because of Jean Smarts, because of Murphy Brown.

Salina: Right.

Nikki: Yeah, we talked about that.

Salina: I think.

Salina: I think she felt sidelined in a number of ways.

Salina: And I think because there was probably so many strong, look, I'm thrown out of a lot of assumptions right now, so I want to be very clear about that.

Salina: But I think you have a strong personality, I'm assuming in Dixie Carter, just by everything I've ever read, the things that we're talking about lately about Delta Burke and all of the drama there and then I think Gene Smart's probably very focused on leaving.

Salina: And I just wonder if Annie Potts is just feeling like the fifth wheel at this point.

Nikki: I think when we did our Annie Potts segment, she talked about how the show gave her stable employment at a time when she herself was in real life, a single mom and raising a young child.

Nikki: And so I don't know that she really wanted to fight too hard for more or different, but I do feel like she was feeling sidelined and I think that was something also.

Nikki: It looks like you have something else to say.

Nikki: The other thing they don't really give her a chance to do is be a mom, which is what her character is.

Nikki: And I wonder if we got more than these bits and pieces of random storylines of her and Claudia dating the same guy.

Nikki: Maybe if we could explore her as a parent a little bit more.

Salina: I have two main thoughts about that.

Salina: One is they've tried that and it doesn't do, they're not great.

Salina: And I think part of the problem is, and this is no shade to I can't act.

Salina: Okay.

Salina: But I think it is very hard to pull in child actors on a show because for every wonderful little gem that you get is a terrible, terrible kid actor that just takes things way sideways.

Salina: And I do think just from a practical perspective, it might be difficult to get the kids on set, follow all the laws, make sure they have plenty of family.

Nikki: Did it really well?

Salina: They sure did.

Salina: They absolutely did.

Salina: Not saying it's not home improvement.

Salina: Not saying it's not possible.

Nikki: I mean, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, let's not.

Salina: Talk about it and say because he's child, not anymore.

Salina: He's older than us.

Salina: So I think there are a number of complications.

Nikki: Where are we?

Salina: I was sitting here thinking about home improvements, a Mel anchored show.

Salina: Modern family was also a modern day.

Salina: I think we figured it out a little bit better about how to work with children on a set.

Salina: So I agree it can happen.

Salina: It didn't happen for them.

Salina: Sometimes I wonder, too, if they just like, not everybody can write good children plotlines.

Nikki: And I'm not saying that's the answer.

Nikki: I'm just suggesting, what else could we have done with her character that would have allowed more room for her to be more interesting than a mid to late 30 something out in the dating world?

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: Well, yeah, and that was one angle, though, that actually was interesting.

Salina: When they paired her and Suzanne up, I thought that was a good episode when they went out there and tried some of the different things in that dating.

Salina: You know, give Mary Jo a couple of episodes with the same person to build a.

Nikki: Like.

Nikki: I think I would have liked that if we could have explored a relationship post JD with her, because we got some JD storylines and I liked them.

Salina: Yeah, I thought they played well off of each other.

Salina: So I don't know.

Salina: One of my other big things for this one is just like, good lord, this Donald guy is a.

Nikki: Notes.

Nikki: It's like we aligned our notes before we came.

Nikki: I swear we didn't, because my final one is that part where Donald said about Mary Jo that he was, quote, still trying to get to first base with her right in front of all the other women.

Nikki: It gave me all the heebie GB's, and no one was grossed out by that.

Nikki: Like, Charlene was even charmed by it.

Salina: Yes.

Salina: So that actually is in my strays, because.

Salina: Yes.

Salina: Do we need to talk about how weird it is that Donald told the whole room he was still trying to get to first base of marriage?

Nikki: Yes, we do.

Salina: Is literally what I said.

Salina: Yeah, talk about that.

Salina: I feel like that's pretty well known nomenclature.

Salina: You think he meant foot in the door?

Salina: The only thing that would have been worse is if he had said, I'm still trying to slide into home base with Mary Jo.

Nikki: I'm really trying to close the deal.

Salina: Also, I wrote down this line because while we're on the subject of Donald, let's see.

Salina: She says, why should I be in a hurry to date you?

Salina: Because since we met, I haven't been able to think about anything else.

Salina: Touching your hand.

Salina: Sorry.

Salina: Hearing your name, your perfume.

Salina: I've got it bad right in my gut.

Salina: And only you can fix it.

Salina: That is just so gross.

Salina: I hate everything about it.

Nikki: That is really gross.

Nikki: Right in front of a room full of people.

Nikki: And we talk a lot about how Charlene's super naive, but that was one.

Nikki: Like, even Charlene, really?

Nikki: That was gross.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: And that's why I said only a putts would feel the need to make his affections that public.

Nikki: Yeah, that should have been the red flag that anybody, any one of her friends needed to guide her.

Salina: Well, Suzanne.

Salina: Well, except for Charlene.

Nikki: Right?

Salina: And she's, like, so charming.

Salina: But Suzanne and Julia had his number also.

Salina: I have to ask, and maybe I'm just jaded.

Salina: Let me make sure I have this right.

Salina: They had three dates.

Salina: He broke it off.

Salina: They didn't have sex.

Salina: Something is amiss.

Salina: Unless we think he dumped her because she hadn't put out yet.

Salina: I would have bought that.

Salina: But just, like, three dates, and he's like.

Salina: And he just seems to be, like, a serial dater.

Salina: Like, just dating.

Salina: That's what really gets it for him.

Salina: Yeah, he just wants first base.

Salina: Yeah, that's closing the deal.

Salina: Anyways, someone's lying.

Salina: Okay.

Nikki: What about strays?

Salina: Well, I only had something about revenge and just the fact that I thought what she did was pretty.

Nikki: Lame.

Nikki: I had a couple of cut lines I wanted to talk about.

Nikki: Anthony said, I said your secret was safe.

Nikki: I did not say I wanted to share grooming tips.

Nikki: He said that after Charlene asked him if he finds the front flap of men's underwear to be annoying, they just cut to commercial.

Nikki: When she asked him if he found it to be annoying, but he actually said, I don't want to share grooming tips, which I thought sounded cute.

Nikki: And then there was a cut in the scene where Bernice was venting that her episode was falling apart.

Nikki: It was between Julia saying kung fu house party sounded like a tough act to follow and Bernice saying, we've got some hooker hunting to do.

Nikki: The gist of it was, she thinks decorating is dull.

Nikki: And someone had suggested a variety show where she eats fire.

Nikki: Julia sings, and Suzanne fills her role as a local celebrity.

Nikki: Bernice also thought that sounded really boring.

Nikki: Then she was really bored by Mary Jo having a conflict of conscience about having to go see Donald.

Nikki: In the end, she said, poor kid.

Nikki: I thought she'd never shut up after Mary Jo left.

Nikki: So Bernice was, like, not having it.

Nikki: Any of it.

Salina: Should we have named this episode?

Salina: We've got some hooker hunting to do.

Nikki: I thought about it.

Salina: I really did.

Nikki: I gave that some thought.

Nikki: But I didn't want to be that.

Salina: Person that called people hookers.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: I don't want to be insensitive.

Nikki: I didn't want to be Bernice.

Salina: All right, I've got no good way to do this except to say not.

Salina: Speaking of revenge, can we do a little sidebar?

Salina: I'm sorry, revenge?

Nikki: Yes.

Salina: What are you over there, needle pointing?

Nikki: I'm trying to fix my necklace.

Nikki: It's a sidebar.

Nikki: Salina's's sidebar.

Nikki: She's got a keyboard.

Nikki: Looking for a reward by digging deep in the obscure, taking us on a detour.

Nikki: What you got Salina in Salina's sidebar?

Salina: So smooth.

Salina: Donald and Mary Jo's brief love affair got me thinking about two things, grand romantic gestures and revenge.

Salina: I can't ever say it right.

Salina: Say it.

Salina: Revenge.

Salina: Revenge.

Nikki: Salina, not me.

Salina: That was really got me in the tukus.

Salina: All right, so it got me curious about the best of both of these.

Salina: So I did a little poking around, and I found a few worth sharing.

Salina: So, Nikki, are you ready to.

Salina: I think you're ready to fix your necklace, but are you also ready to dance on the thin line between love and hate?

Nikki: I thought you were going to have a grand romantic gesture for me.

Salina: No.

Salina: So we'll start chronologically in order with the show.

Salina: Let's start with the romance.

Salina: I'll have to say that this was a tough exercise for me because I'm a practical gal, so I'm not sure grand romance really is my thing.

Salina: Overly romantic things make me a little.

Salina: Yep.

Salina: Also, it turns out many grand gestures of the romantic variety.

Salina: At least the ones I read also have something really terrible in the mix, and so it kind of ruins the rest of it.

Salina: But this first one I'll share was really sweet and comes to us from Shonda land, which apparently there's like a whole website, and I didn't know that.

Salina: And I'm going to read directly what she said because it's better than a recap from me.

Salina: So this comes to us from Casey, 25, Westchester, New York.

Salina: When a parent dies, your life changes in a million ways.

Salina: Almost every single one of those changes is for the worse.

Salina: Your dad and his wicked sense of humor and the effortless calm he brought to life are gone.

Salina: His smile and his hugs gone.

Salina: He is just simply gone.

Salina: The only place he exists are in memories.

Salina: Your mom doesn't dance with him in the kitchen.

Salina: She doesn't yell at him for leaving his plate next to the sink instead of in it.

Salina: She cries.

Salina: And every topic of conversation brings her to him into tears.

Salina: Seven months earlier Chris took me to get a bacon, egg and cheese at the diner at 04:00 a.m.

Salina: In the morning.

Salina: He made me laugh.

Salina: He made me smile.

Salina: He made me forget all the bad there was.

Salina: Chris made me laugh and he made me calm.

Salina: He sat in hospital waiting rooms.

Salina: Chris helped my dad sit up in bed when he was too weak to do it himself.

Salina: He was the first boyfriend invited into a family photo.

Salina: He put my dad first, and he held me when I cried.

Salina: When a parent dies, people disappoint you, but they also surprise you.

Salina: Strangers show up at wakes and best friends stay silent.

Salina: Then there are the people like Chris.

Salina: They exceed every expectation.

Salina: They keep you from falling too far.

Salina: I'm 25 years old, and Chris has been my boyfriend for two years.

Salina: That's a very short time for so many people.

Salina: But for us, it feels like a lifetime.

Salina: I love him for a million reasons.

Salina: I love him for his smile and his calm and his humor.

Salina: I love him for the person I am with him.

Salina: I love him for making my mom laugh and smile.

Salina: I love him for his intelligence and his talents.

Salina: And I love him for the person he makes me.

Salina: So I pulled that one because to me, that is the grandest romantic gesture is being there in the rough times.

Salina: And so, so many of the ones that I pulled, they were just like.

Salina: And he read me poetry.

Salina: And showing up for someone in my mind is absolutely the best thing that you can do.

Salina: So that's why I picked that one.

Salina: Next up, I think it's pretty well known that Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe were an item.

Salina: If you didn't know that, they were all fireworks and wed in 1954, which might be why you didn't know that, but it is still a pretty famous relationship.

Salina: The marriage lasted less than one year.

Salina: However, years later, he really showed up for her after a very messy divorce with Arthur Miller.

Salina: And based on what I've read, she was in a pretty rough place, and he helped secure her release from a psychiatric hospital.

Salina: He apparently also took her away with him while he was in spring training in Florida just to give her some much needed rnR.

Salina: There are rumors that he planned to propose again.

Salina: She tragically died less than two years later.

Salina: He sent red roses to her grave three times a week for the next 20 years.

Salina: And according to sources, when he died in 1999, his last words were, I'll finally get to see Marilyn.

Nikki: Gosh.

Salina: Before he was really hung up on her.

Salina: Before anyone collapses in the oohs and oz, this is exactly the kind of example I meant.

Salina: But then there's something terrible that ruins the whole thing.

Salina: So I'm not trying to ruin it, but I cannot omit it because it feels like a lie.

Salina: But it's also widely reported that he was very jealous of Marilyn and was allegedly abusive.

Salina: And I am not kidding when I tell you about these grand romantic gestures to be like.

Salina: And then he abdicated the throne.

Salina: Oh, yes.

Salina: But he was also a n*** sympathizer.

Salina: And so every time you're just like k.

Salina: That, to me, feels like a good segue to go on to revange.

Salina: And I found a couple of stories.

Salina: The first on board panda.

Salina: And I just like this one because I think it's cute and it's not like some of the ones I read that just felt, like, straight up mean or perhaps would land you in jail.

Salina: So this is what he says.

Salina: I gave my girlfriend my Netflix password while we were dating and asked her nicely not to use it after we broke up, but she continued to use it.

Salina: So I waited until she was two seasons into pretty little liars, and then I changed the password, and that just feels really know.

Nikki: That's my form of petty rivet.

Salina: That's right.

Salina: You're not really hurting someone, but you.

Nikki: Kind of are just enough to ruin their day.

Salina: That's right.

Salina: So I'm going to go out with a historical reference.

Salina: This one isn't revenge against a lover, but rather for one.

Salina: So according to the website, all that's interesting, Maria Octobersky not only fought in World War II for the USSR, she swore revenge after her husband was killed at the hands of the Nazis.

Salina: Maria sold all that she had and bought a t 34 tank that she named fighting girlfriend.

Salina: And she even pleaded her case directly to Joseph Stalin to make sure she'd be the driver.

Salina: He approved and Maria trained for five months.

Salina: Maria would eventually die fighting Nazis in January of 1944.

Salina: But before she did, she was a Billy badass who did what she promised.

Salina: She took out a lot of german troops in some pretty epic tank battles.

Salina: All right, Nikki, aside from a good tank battle, which I know you love, what did you like about this episode?

Nikki: I loved Anthony's little hee after Charlene realized he'd been ducked down behind the counter while she was telling the underwear situation.

Nikki: It just sounded really cute.

Salina: Is it possible that we poked at each other's.

Salina: Poked.

Salina: Peeked at each other's notes?

Salina: Do you have the same thing?

Salina: It's literally my first thing.

Nikki: I also love this Bernice classic.

Nikki: If you think he's cute, just tackle the big glute.

Nikki: I feel like those are words to live by.

Nikki: Yeah, and then work it, girl.

Nikki: How'd you like to strut your stuff on public access?

Nikki: That was Anthony's rendition of Bernice looking for another guest for the show.

Nikki: I could watch that over and over again.

Salina: It was also, like, a pretty spot on Bernice impersonation.

Salina: That one's also on my list.

Salina: I'll just go check as you go through these.

Nikki: That's it for me.

Salina: So I also had Bernice on the highs and lows of the senior roundup show before she came in to save the day.

Salina: Well, the show certainly needs a little pick me up.

Salina: Last week's episode, you and your prostate, was sexy enough, but it lacked the violence to pack a real wallop.

Salina: So I'm calling my show 60 after dark.

Salina: I've lined up a real live hooker and a cop from Vice.

Salina: Neither one knows the other is going to be there.

Salina: He might just bust her on the air.

Salina: I also like that we both have an after dark special.

Nikki: I thought about that.

Salina: I liked how Julia and Suzanne immediately jumped in with revenge ideas after Donald.

Salina: I'm sorry.

Salina: My notes say after Donald jumped Mary Jo, I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be dumped.

Salina: Anyways, I thought that was really sweet of them.

Salina: There was lots of little nuggets in this one I really liked.

Salina: So the person running Bernice's show, I'm not sure if she's the producer or the director, camera person.

Salina: She's like, leave the camera running and take a call about 15 minutes in.

Salina: And then her deadpan of, like, it's magic time.

Salina: Pretty delightful.

Salina: And then just all of Bernice's shenanigans with the sugar bakers right at the end, basically trying to turn them in to a madam and home and her ladies of ladies of the night.

Salina: The best of those was when she asked Charlene how many treats she turned in a week.

Nikki: She means tricks.

Salina: Oh, good.

Salina: And I like that they're all just, like, kind of going with it until Julia offers to throw her across the room.

Salina: Well, I think we've talked a little bit about what we didn't like about this one, but is there anything else that you want to capture here?

Nikki: I just have to say, there was a part about halfway through the episode.

Nikki: Julia's eating grapes.

Nikki: Sitting at the bar.

Nikki: She is eating with her mouth wide open, just like chewing like a cow.

Nikki: I one, just can't stand that in general.

Nikki: Two, for Julia to do that, like, what was she raised?

Nikki: Where was she raised that they told her she could chew with her mouth open?

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: That doesn't seem in taking with her.

Nikki: Drove me crazy.

Nikki: Drove me absolutely crazy.

Salina: Right.

Nikki: That feels like a detail we need to.

Salina: It doesn't even feel like something Dixie Carter would do.

Nikki: I know.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: The whole thing, that's confusing.

Nikki: That's why I didn't like it.

Salina: I feel like I don't often see the show because I'm looking at the.

Nikki: Yeah.

Salina: And so I think I miss little details like that sometimes.

Nikki: Yeah.

Salina: For me, it was just like, the idea of the Donald plot is fine enough.

Salina: Like, Mary Jo dealing with someone who is just so into her and then breaks up with her.

Salina: But the execution was just all for me.

Salina: You want to go ahead and rate this sucker?

Nikki: Sure.

Nikki: My rating scale is dumped women support groups.

Nikki: And I just put it at a three.

Nikki: I had it at a 2.75.

Nikki: But I've just been a real grouch about the last few episodes, so I'm going to go with a three because there were some high points with Bernice, just in general.

Nikki: It was kind of a snooze fest of an episode.

Nikki: Like, it was just a little bit boring.

Nikki: That whole thing with Mary Jo and Donald I thought was really boring.

Nikki: There was a lot of build up for nothing.

Nikki: I thought the payoff at the end with the ravage was not super exciting.

Nikki: So it's not my favorite.

Salina: Well, I'm about to blow your mind because I gave it a 4.5.

Nikki: Good lord.

Salina: Out of five.

Salina: Turn treats.

Nikki: Mind blown.

Salina: I think I'm just all Bernice on this.

Salina: She's back.

Salina: They let her cook.

Salina: It was good, her cooking, and I just couldn't ask for anything more in that regard.

Salina: I just kind of ignoring the other plotline.

Salina: Okay, can you do that?

Salina: 90s things.

Nikki: There was a Phil Donahue reference during the ladies telling Mary Jo about their horrible experiences with Donald.

Salina: Okay, I didn't have any.

Salina: Okay.

Salina: Southern things.

Nikki: Mary Jo said something about being in an all fired hurry to go out with Donald and taking a cue from your playbook, Salina.

Nikki: It just sounded southern.

Salina: Sound Southern.

Nikki: Just sounded southern.

Salina: That's why I gave two to Bernice for tackle that big galute, which you already mentioned, if you think he's cute.

Salina: Yeah.

Salina: And then when she says to pack a real wallop, that also sounds southern to me.

Nikki: Well, there you go.

Salina: I mean, you just show me one New Jersey person saying it, and I will take it right off the list.

Salina: Anybody?

Salina: Go ahead and do it.

Salina: Who says wallop in New Jersey?

Salina: I'll wait.

Salina: I'll wait right here.

Salina: References that we need to talk about.

Nikki: I don't have any.

Salina: Look at.

Salina: Just had.

Salina: Do you know who this guy is that played Donald?

Nikki: I started looking into him and like, that.

Salina: This is where Nikki is going to tell y'all that she was like, and it wasn't worth our time.

Salina: And then this is where I'm going to come in and be like, here's my dissertation.

Nikki: Not that he's not on Colin Burnson.

Salina: But that is what you're saying.

Nikki: No, just that it didn't feel of broad interest.

Salina: I didn't really care until I saw the name Burnson.

Salina: And that caught my attention because it turns out he's Corbin Burnson's brother.

Salina: And I understand that name might not mean a lot to a zoomer, but if you're a little older, I think Corbin Burnson is quite well known.

Salina: And he's an actor who was on LA Law that ran from 86 to 94.

Salina: He was in the major league movies and he's actually making some headway again in the Emma Stone tv series that's out now.

Salina: The curse for his micro p****.

Salina: Yes.

Salina: I'm going to leave that right there and then back to Colin.

Salina: I just wanted to see if I knew him from anything else.

Salina: That's where this all started.

Salina: Okay.

Salina: Then when I started looking at his filmography, I was laughing so much.

Salina: I was laughing so much that I had to bring it here.

Salina: And I'm sorry, Colin.

Salina: I'm sorry.

Salina: Two years after this episode, he would appear in Inside out three, a Playboy softcore p*** made up of several stories.

Salina: He starred in the story the Wet Dream.

Salina: Also in his filmography are carnal fate, intimate nights, dangerous pleasures and erotic obsessions.

Salina: That last one has an x rating.

Salina: I couldn't help it.

Salina: I was like, what is happening here?

Salina: You don't see that crossover a lot.

Nikki: And I see you say that he does.

Nikki: Congratulations, Colin.

Salina: Well, it had a happy ending at some point.

Salina: Few of them.

Nikki: It looks like cheese and crust.

Nikki: Are we done?

Salina: This has been our new edition of the height report.

Nikki: I know we didn't go sweet tea.

Salina: And tv after I didn't make these movies.

Salina: That's it.

Nikki: So next episode, season five, episode 13, pearls of Wisdom.

Nikki: We'd love everyone to follow along with us and engage Instagram and Facebook at sweetTv.

Nikki: We're on TikTok at Sweettvpod and we're on YouTube.

Nikki: If you just search sweet teantv or look for SweetTV 7371, our email address is, and our website is

Nikki: There are, as always, several ways to support the show.

Nikki: You can just tell family and friends about us, or you can leave a rating or review wherever you listen to podcasts.

Nikki: And then on our website, we have various ways to support the show.

Nikki: You look like a woman with something to say.

Nikki: Okay, so for our Patreon's Salina, we're going to have a special extra sugar about public access tv.

Nikki: I didn't want to skip over that altogether.

Nikki: And I have some fun stuff that I've put together for our main feed.

Nikki: Everyone can come back Thursday for part two of the crown, season six.

Nikki: We covered part one a few episodes back.

Salina: The crown.

Salina: She doesn't like it when I do that.

Nikki: I don't.

Nikki: And yet you do it.

Nikki: So here we are.

Salina: The crown.

Salina: Well, you know what that means, Nikki.

Nikki: What does it mean, Salina?

Salina: It means that you're going to get a new co host.

Salina: And it also means that we'll see you around the bend.

Nikki: Bye!


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