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Episode 19: The One Where Charlene Dates Mary Jo's Dad

Updated: Aug 25, 2023

Uh-oh...on this week's "Designing Women", we find out two things: 1.) Mary Jo has a complicated relationship with her dad, and 2.) he has the hots for Charlene. On the upside, we also met the “best looking man left on Earth” and witness some of the most fantastic dance moves...ever?


Stick around for this week’s ‘Extra Sugar’ to see how Salina handles a rapid-fire game all about sororities -- and Nikki shares some memories along the way.


OH, and here's an article Salina found as a way to correct her mom's correction about Willard Scott. (He was, without debate, a longtime weather forecaster on the "Today" show and passed away since we recorded our episode. Here's a great tribute to him and his legacy from the New York Times.)


Come on, let’s get into it!



 

Transcript

Salina: Nicky. Nicky. Nicky.

Nikki: Selena. Selena. Selena.

Salina: And turn all podcast.

Moving along, I think that I realize that we're always saying hello to each other, but we're never saying hello to anyone else.

Is that rude?

Oh, yeah.

This is all your fault.

Hey, everybody.

Hey, Sweet Tea & TV fam.

So I was going to say that.

I was my mom has definitely caught up on the podcast because now she's texting me to tell me what we get wrong, but I'll take engagement however I get it.

You guys think I'm kidding at the end of the podcast, and I'm like, send in your complaints.

I just want to know you're still here.

Yeah, I just want to make sure I'm not just shouting in the wind.

You're not.

I also got an email this week from our friend Tammy, a friend of the show, who said that she loves listening to the podcast because it feels like she's having lunch with oh, isn't that nice?

That's nice.

That is someone we know just so people don't think that Tammy's a crazy person.

But I think that's the most flattering thing of all maybe I think so, too, is for people that you know to tune in and think you're worth it.

Just keep listening.

I like it.

Yeah.

So basically what we're trying to say is, like, come have lunch with us.

That's what we're saying, right?

And hey, Mama Selena, it's good for you to continue texting your criticisms to Selena.

I will also text you Nikki's number.

Actually, she really loves phone calls, so just call her directly.

But no, I mean, I do appreciate mom telling me, and she's been very nice about, um, and I've been trying to be like, well, mom, you know these things because you're old.

I mean, I've been trying not to tell her that.

Mama Selena.

I'm just kidding.

You're beautiful.

Okay, so here's what mom told me.

Mom told me that I got something wrong when we were talking about Willard Scott.

This is a while back, guys.

This is an episode.

Bozo the Clown.

Bozo?

He's not Bozo the Clown.

I messed that up.

He's Ronald McDonald.

Okay, but here's the thing, mom, even when I'm wrong, I'm still right.

Don't you miss me living in your house?

I was going to say I just got a glimpse into high school Selena.

Not even a little bit.

So he actually was this character is franchised, apparently.

So there wasn't just like the main Bozo the Clown.

There were Bozo the Clowns in other cities, and he actually was the DC version of Bozo for a time.

But he is not known for that, okay?

He's known for being Ronald McDonald.

So I apologize.

I got my clowns confused.

I'm glad that she caught that for us because it was weird in my head that he was Bozo the Clown.

It didn't feel right.

But I didn't do my research, so I was not in a position to question you.

What Nikki is trying to say is she's really glad that I was wrong.

That's not what I'm saying.

I'm saying I'm glad your mom told.

You you were wrong.

He was also, like, a weatherman or like that's what I oh, so now you know all these I know a.

Lot of things about Willard Sky.

I just didn't want to correct you on that family.

That's just rude.

I don't want to be rude.

That's right.

If you're going to do it, do it through text.

Shame me privately.

Then I will come here and shame myself publicly.

It's what we call a good time.

But that's pretty much it.

Otherwise, unless you want to berate me a little bit, I figured we could.

Was that the only correction she had?

That was the main one.

Well, other ones I'd already apologized for.

The 711 thing was big.

I was like, mom, just hang on, okay?

Oh, actually, I think I do apologize in that episode.

I think she was like, Good job for apologizing.

No, I mean, she was being nice.

I appreciate your.

Don'T.

It is important to me to try and be factually correct.

Look, we're going to get things wrong from time to time.

Nikki and I are moving very quickly.

Sometimes when we're doing the extra sugars, when we're gathering information, we work full time jobs.

We're human beings.

Last time I checked.

There's still time.

And so occasionally, we're going to get things wrong.

It's just going to so but that's part of the fun.

We want you screaming in the cars.

That's true.

I do want that.

I do want people screaming in their cars because that brings me joy.

Oh, another person actually did text me this week, my friend Taylor, and she said that she was screaming at us in her car when we were talking about the frosted oranges at Varsity, but we couldn't remember what they were called.

Oh, gosh, I love it.

So keep screaming, guys.

Come on.

We want to hear you from our house.

That's right.

Speaking of mistakes.

Transition time.

Speaking of mistakes.

Episode 19 mary Jo's dad dates Charlene the Hulu episode description?

I mean, I don't know.

Is there more than that?

Mary Jo's dad dates Charlene.

So when Mary Jo's father arrives in Atlanta for a visit and takes a fancy to Charlene, mary Jo's imagination goes wild.

Or her eyes are open.

But I'll be quiet.

Go on.

The air date was April 6, 1987.

This one was written by LBT.

And it was directed by Jack Shea.

Do you remember if Jack Shea is a name we've heard before?

I think it is because I do.

Try and write down little kitty bitties.

Nope.

I wish I'd caught myself before that.

I really do, too.

That doesn't happen often, but I did bitz.

Jeez, I'm sorry, guys.

I don't know.

It's a different spelling and all, but.

You don't remember off the top of your head?

I feel like he was a Gilmore Girls man.

Oh, well, I'll come back and let you know next time.

Perfect.

Catch us on episode 20 when I apologize again.

Do you have any trivia on this one?

That's my favorite part.

I do have some trivia, but I don't know, it's super exciting.

But Dan Dillon is an actor who appears in this episode, and he's going to come back, and he will be in another episode in season five.

No spoilers.

He is the best looking man on earth.

We'll get into it.

We'll get into it.

So for act one, I think in this act, we get really two significant lines.

Just back up.

Pull up here and up here.

These are our two lines.

One charlene's on the hunt.

That's it.

On the hunt for a man, needs for a man.

Anthony is up to something and related to one of those, you decide which one.

Mary Jo's dad is coming into town.

Could go either way.

I'm going to leave you in suspense.

Okay.

So those are the big two lines that are running through this act.

So the Cold Open has Suzanne at a typewriter writing up sorority recommendations.

These are as we'll get into this weekend extra sugar recommendation letters recommending some quote unquote, unattractive women to her sorority.

She and Julia exchanged some barbs about sororities with a little bit of a missing script alert.

Did you catch this one?

I did, yeah.

What did Julia get kicked out of her sorority for?

Well, she didn't wear a girdle on campus.

I'm with you.

God, I wouldn't be wearing no girdle on campus or at home or anywhere else.

I don't even like the word.

Girdle is terrible.

It's not a good word.

Yeah, there was not a good marketing strategy.

And then also, Suzanne thinks that was an excuse.

She thinks she actually got kicked out because of what she said to the president at the time.

She's told her that you look like you were weaned on a pickle.

And can't you just see Julia saying it?

Yes.

Yeah, absolutely.

Is there anything else in this sort of opening, this cold open, about the sorority that you want to comment on?

No, just that I'm excited to stick around for your ill extra sugar.

It's exciting.

It's going to be a good one.

So then Charlene comes in and she's got a poster of a man of.

A has it, but we don't see the poster until she says some things.

She says a lot.

She was scouring the aisles.

Well, she starts with the fact that there's a man shortage in the world.

And you read about it everywhere.

Well, and she'sick and tired of man crazy women, right?

Oh, yeah.

Well, we should start there.

It is really important.

She is.

It's true.

She is.

She's tired of man crazy women.

Everywhere you turn, there's stories about how there's a man shortage.

Women are, like, beating each other up over men, blah, blah, blah.

So here she is minding her own business, being an independent woman, going through the pick and save.

Yeah.

And this is me before the pick and save.

I'm here for it.

I'm here for it.

Yeah.

Why are we always talking about men?

Yeah.

And then she finds a poster of the most attractive man in the world.

And she says to herself, she says, Charlene Self, that is the most attractive man in the world.

She pays a dollar for it, and she now has a poster of the most attractive man in the world.

That's exciting.

It didn't really make a lot of sense.

Weird.

The line, the thread.

Oh, it's lost, but it's Charlene.

I don't know.

It was all weird.

Whatever.

In the meantime, we get the subplot about Anthony.

He gets a call from Mr.

Victor's dog grooming parlor.

Sounds right.

Did I get that right?

Cryptically.

The caller says, Big Blue rolls tonight.

It sounds exciting.

It does.

I'm not sure it is, though.

So then we find out that Mary Jo's dad has come to tell he was going to surprise her, but then he was afraid she'd be upset because he's divorced from her mother, and he thinks she's still really upset about the divorce.

I think she might be.

She sort of alludes to the fact that she is a little bit.

It seems like we're being set up for some tension.

Yeah, we're being primed.

Being primed for something.

So that's happening.

Julia confronts Anthony about Big Blue.

Turns out he's freelancing the van, literally, to a dog grooming parlor, allegedly.

All around pets.

I'm going to ask you this thing that I just tend to ask you from time to time.

Do you believe this?

Oh, that's a good well, there's that whole bit where Suzanne talks about consuela saying that something that he dropped off that was like some kind of furniture, smelled like animals.

But yeah, I mean, the message doesn't really make any sense.

Right.

Big blue rolls tonight.

Is this possible?

Why Julia was being such a snide butthead then?

I believe it's absolutely why?

She was being.

Like, oh, man, I feel like I was being really naive.

Well, as they reconcile that plotline later, which we can get into, something feels weird about it.

It feels like he knows he's talking about something.

She knows he's talking about something, but they're both coding it with dog grooming.

Okay, so this plotline is reconciled?

Oh, well, no, not really.

Not fully.

Okay.

Is that later in the later in the get?

We'll get there, guys.

We're going to get into it.

It's forgettable.

So let's see.

Then Mary Jo's dad arrives.

Did you look this actor up?

I actually do not think I did.

Can I drop some knowledge on you?

Please?

He's Juliette Lewis's dad.

Oh, really?

He's actually been in a lot.

I don't have any of it written down, but he's a pretty prolific actor.

He was.

He's passed away since.

But he's Juliet Lewis's dad, which I thought was the most interesting thing.

That is really most interesting from my perspective.

Yeah.

Now, this is for folks who don't know who that is.

She's been in a lot of things, but I think Cape Fear and then The Other Sister is a standout for me.

Gosh, that'll just if you want to just wipe your eyeballs out of your head, there's a good movie for you.

Watch the breast cancer scare episodes of Designing Women, followed by the episode about Suzanne adopting the little girl.

And then watch the other sister.

If you wanted to have a cry fest.

Juliet is not in the Designing Women episode.

No, sorry.

She's not there.

I'm just priming you for good crying.

Yeah.

So anyway, I want to drop that knowledge on you.

That's awesome.

So Charlene hasn't met Mary Jo's dad, which I find interesting because I made the comment that Mary Jo hadn't met Charlene's family.

So I'm just coming full circle to say Charlene hadn't met Mary Jo's dad.

So maybe they're not as close as I thought they were.

Yeah, I can live with yeah, I can live with it.

There's some chemistry there's chemistry between Mary Jo's dad and Charlene.

Okay.

How'd that hit you?

Well, I was going to ask you how that hit you.

I feel like you're more opinionated on.

It than I am, or just life.

So I had different thoughts, but I think if it hadn't been her dad, I would have thought it was like, look at this little meat cute.

But it's Mary Jo's dad, and it's some pretty shameless that and it's a little creepy, but I think it's creepy because of the dad.

So I'm priming you because I know you did not love this episode, which we have not said yet, but everything you've said to me leads me to believe you didn't love this episode.

I was not super offended by this episode.

Was it the best episode?

No.

Was it the worst episode?

No.

We can get into rating later.

I'm just saying I didn't hate this episode.

I think knowing that Charlene had never met Mary Jo's dad made it less creepy to me.

It's not like you growing up with your best friends.

Right.

And then this happened at, like, ten years old or something like that.

They've never met Mary Jo's a full I mean, Charlene's a full grown woman.

It's still weird for me.

I don't know.

It would be weird if it happened to me in real life in the show.

It wasn't weird.

Yeah.

I mean, I definitely agree that thank goodness.

I would have been uber creeped out if they had been childhood friends.

Oh, yeah.

No, that would have been inexcusable.

Yeah.

That's some American Beauty stuff that I'm just not ready for.

Yeah, it's weird.

So I was struck by a couple of other things in this scene, because this pretty much wrapped it up.

Right.

Okay.

I don't really like it when full grown women call their father's daddy.

Oh, daddy.

I don't love it.

Anyways, if you do that, it's fine.

Again, it's not for me.

Also.

Oh, I guess we should say that they're going to go on a date.

This is the cringiest part of the episode to me, is Mary Jo and JD.

Are taking her dad out to dinner, and he says, well, something like, you'll need to make a reservation for four of us, or something like that.

And she's like, four.

There's only three.

I know how to do math.

And he's like, no, there's four of us because it's you, JD.

Me, and my date dad.

What date?

What date are you bringing?

And he says, well, I was hoping Charlene might come with me, but did.

He even say episode, or was he like, Charlene's coming?

Which was my final thought, which was like, he just kind of announces it instead of even does any asking.

Oh, really?

I felt like he asked.

Well, now I'm feeling kind of weird about it, and I'm going to have to go back and look.

But even if he did say, like, I'm hoping she's going to go with me, then he's talking about her in third person in front of Charlene.

That was weird.

The whole thing is you.

I will give you the third person being weird.

Yeah.

Well, that's what I wanted to ask you, is I wanted to get your first reactions to Mary Jo's dad and this situation with Charlene.

So not a fan.

Got it.

Let's move on.

Okay, well, Nikki did some real time investigating, and I just want to say that she pulled up the script for us to take a really quick look at while also podcasting.

Come on, guys.

Where else can you get a show like this?

Anyways, I just want to say that Charlene not Charlene's dad, but Mary Jo's dad was not it was much kinder the way that he threw it to Charlene to go out on a date.

It wasn't like, you're going to go out on a date with me.

And he threw her over his shoulder and ran out the door.

Let's go.

All right.

There's a little grutting for you.

Do with that what you will.

So I just want to say as we go into the next scene, for me, this is a nightmare situation to be on which part?

Well, to be on a double date with my father and my father being on a date with my best friend.

Oh, okay.

In a dance club?

No, a discotech.

A discotech.

We've revisited the disco tech again.

We're somewhere.

It's something.

This whole scene is a lot.

Yeah.

Have we said his name?

No.

Okay.

His name's Davis.

So we'll alternate between Mary Jo's dad and Davis.

But Davis I think we have to use Davis right now because Davis and Charlene are really cutting a rug.

They're cutting lots of rugs.

They're doing something to the rug.

I don't know what's happening.

It's like slow dancing and then fast dancing, and JD.

Is giving commentary along the way, which is making me deeply yeah.

Yeah.

Well, Mary Jo and JD.

Are on the they're doing that thing that they're not dancing.

No, they're just sitting there.

And I think Mary Jo is in a little place I like to call denial.

She hasn't really come around to the fact that this is, like, a thing that's but Davis and Charlie and they're really living it up.

He's breaking out those Chubby Checker moves.

There was this one is this what you're I don't know.

I don't know that reference.

The one where he's doing his arms and he's squirming down.

That's the one.

Oh, my gosh.

I can't not laugh every time I see it.

Yeah.

Chubby Checker is the twist.

Okay, I had to double check myself.

I don't want to have to apologize again in the episode.

But don't worry, guys.

I caught those sleek dance moves in a boomerang, which we can share on social media, because if you're having a bad day, watch this dance move, and it will change your entire attitude.

It was like the twist, but he forgot how it went.

I'm fascinated that you interpret that as the twist, because it was like a sawing motion.

There were legs, there was going yeah.

It was like dad dancing twist.

But I'm going to have to look at the boomerang again while we're talking.

It's a real sight, guys.

It is.

But they're also doing, like, these slow dances.

They're having some serious conversation, and he's telling her about his time in the war.

He was in World War II.

And you're looking at me like, do you not recall this?

I do recall this.

Okay.

The part I'm trying to remember, she jumped real quick to World War II.

And I got to tell you, it's hard for me to say because in 2021, if someone's dad told me they were in the war, I wouldn't jump to World War II.

It just feels very far back in time to have gone.

So in my mind, she was like she might as well have said, like, the Civil War.

She's like, World War II.

1812.

Really?

Yeah.

I think there was another trivia point that said that he would have like, based on his real life age, he would have been ten years old.

Okay, that makes me feel better.

I didn't do the math every time I watched the episode, and I only watched this one two or three times.

Every time I watched it, I stopped at that line, and I was like, Charlene, really?

You just assume world war couldn't have been Vietnam?

And I was thinking, is he old enough for Vietnam or young enough?

I guess.

Yeah, I think he was just in a weird in between.

But they did make up something to kind of COVID for it.

He said that he enlisted before he was 18.

Right.

But also he's talking about his long lost love from that time and how Charlene reminds him of her.

La la la.

He got a Purple Heart.

And these are things that Mary Jo doesn't know anything about.

Right.

And the reason I bring that up is because it becomes really clear to me that there are some pretty not something that can't be overcome, but there are some serious communication challenges between he and his daughter.

And I think this is LBT's way of kind of showing that to like, for whatever reason.

Why would he tell her about like, this has nothing to do with Mary Jo.

And I do think that's times the way the parent child dynamic works.

Right.

And I also think, though, probably even more so than I think know, people were taught to keep certain walls up.

So I just thought that was kind of an interesting aspect to this for me.

I don't know that I've ever had a conversation with my parents about long lost loves or certainly like, someone who is in the World War doesn't really talk about their war experience with their kids.

That's like a line drawn in the sand because they saw things they weren't happy about.

So I wasn't terribly surprised by that.

Other than the Purple Heart, feels like something Mary Jo would have known about.

I feel like I know about all of my mom and dad's exes.

Oh, well, they're just verbal.

You're an open family.

Love you guys.

They're verbal.

And so for me, I know a lot.

In some cases, one might describe that I know too much, but hey, takes all kinds, right?

Love you, mom.

Love you, dad.

Mary Jo and JD.

Decide to leave, and basically her dad's like, don't wait up, right?

And we get back to Mary Joe's house, all of us.

We're all there, right?

Can't you feel it in the air?

And we learn really quickly.

It's 130.

He still hasn't made it back.

And Mary Jo is very flustered.

JD.

Is not.

He's, like, asleep on the couch.

Can we go to bed yet?

Yeah.

Your dad is a grown up, right.

And he can take care of he was in World War II, right?

He fought a war.

He can find the key under the mat.

You know what I'm saying, Mary Jo?

So all this I do kind of agree with.

I do think that maybe JD.

Could have I'm glad that he didn't rile her up.

I think probably the scariest couples are the one where the other person doesn't calm the person, but instead they just throw gas on that fire.

You didn't see that happening at the club when JD.

Was like, he looks like he's having a good time.

He looks like he's pretty comfortable holding her.

Oh, the early yes, the kindling if you think, yeah, I guess I thought of that as more of, like, teasing, but it's a kindling yeah.

I'll never make this move again with my fingers.

Sorry.

And he does make this argument here, though, that I wanted to talk about.

He says he's a red blooded American man who just happens to be single, and that's a fact whether he's 20 or 80.

Okay, simmer down.

But he doesn't have to date someone at least 25 years younger than him.

And even though whatever we've talked about the age difference before, age is just a number, I understand that attraction is attraction, and I'm not trying to go all ageist.

And that is a trite argument and another podcast.

But again, it doesn't have to be her best friend that he suddenly decides to latch on.

Let's even put that to the side.

Let's go with your theory, which is, like, he didn't know her when she was ten, so it's cool.

And it's still her coworker.

That could get messy.

Selena, you were standing in the way of romance.

I don't understand true love.

Well, I hate true love, so true love.

This is fate.

You can't stand in the way of fate.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I'm such a such a selena downer.

So the whole scene ends sally Sad sack.

Oh, I like that so much.

And that's what makes me not a Sally sad Sack.

That's delightful.

I love it.

I'm going to get a T shirt.

So the whole scene ends with her on the phone with her sister, and she's basically like, dad's lost his mind.

And I mean, not couldn't you have waited till the next day?

Definitely.

How mad would you be?

100%.

I don't have a sibling, but I'm telling you that I'd be ready to smack them around.

Wait, so it's 01:00 in the morning?

Yeah.

You do not have a dead body.

Right.

Dad was fine when you left him.

Right.

He's with your best friend.

They need to revisit their rules for their spouses.

Gosh.

No kidding.

No kidding.

This is just not something that really rises to the level of let's have a 01:00 132 o'clock in the morning conversation.

Amen.

We did get another cut scene.

Did you find this?

I did.

Okay.

Do you want to tell us a little bit about it?

What struck you?

Yeah, I think when they were the part that was cut was Charlene and Pops Davis.

Oh, Poppy.

Pop.

They were talking about the girl from the war.

That was his true love.

She died.

He says that.

Then he met Mary Jo's mom.

She grounded him and got him through medical school.

Charlene makes him feel like he's known her forever and she thanks him for being a good friend.

I took away from it that she friend zoned him.

Zoned, zoned.

Zona did.

Charlene said, oh, yeah.

I love hearing all these old romantic stories about the world's best war.

You're the best friend I've ever had.

And like all my best friends, I'm going to open mouth, kiss you and dance with you until 02:00 in the morning with our bodies rubbing up against each other, because that's what I do with my friends.

They weren't rubbing when they were doing this.

That's true.

So I just had a thought that this whole dreamer line because he says he and the girl who died that he was in love with, they were both dreamers.

And I'm suddenly hearkening back to episode Nashville bound.

You got it.

And what did Charlene say?

She said she's a dreamer like her mom.

So you're thinking her mom and Mary Jo's dad should get together?

Well, that might cause another problem.

And she's a little old for Davis.

He should dress up in a full of brushmen costume, go by the door.

They can do some really sexy role playing.

You guys, I really wish I could get Nikki dancing for you on this, because this is great.

She's recreating those moves, but we'll share those with you.

But yeah.

So that was an interesting cutscene that I think really gives us something that otherwise we wouldn't have had.

This last little bit of the show is all about Mary Jo's unresolved ted issues and a confrontation with Charlene is how I would summarize it.

And I say that because there's a confrontation with Charlene in which she brings up the Suzanne Ted thing.

Again, there's a confrontation with her father about Charlene, and then there's resolution.

So I just think that there is this thing simmering with Mary Jo that she is just not over the ted Suzanne thing.

So this episode kind of ping pongs between Sugar Bakers, Mary Jo's House and Sugar Bakers.

When it first opens up, they're at Sugar Bakers.

And Suzanne, I bet you enjoyed this part.

There was a really funny interaction between Suzanne and Anthony about Gone with the Wind.

It's in my rating.

Oh, okay.

No, we can talk about it now, though.

There's not that much to say.

It's just Suzanne sort of opining about Gone with the Wind and what a romantic time period it was and how wonderful and how genteel everyone was.

And Anthony says, like, yeah, times were different for my people.

And she has no idea.

Go straight over her head.

I just don't think she.

But so.

I did actually write this one down.

She says, don't you just love that period of history?

And Anthony says, no, actually, my people did not enjoy the Civil War very much.

And she wants to know if he'd be interested in calling her Miss Suzanne, Miss Julia.

So that part, I was like, oh, God, Suzanne, just shut yeah, just just shut your mouth.

I appreciate how Anthony's just like, no.

I've never considered and this is just another one of those times where he's so good and he's just so tragically underused so far.

But again, we have to remember he was only supposed to.

Be on five episodes.

So they're probably trying to figure out what to do with him now.

And that's probably hard to do on the fly.

Well, I don't know if we've ever talked about this before, but the episodes were filmed in a different order.

So I actually wonder and I bring that up in all seriousness because I wonder if they've sprinkled Anthony into later episodes after he was so successful early.

Like, I'm just curious because that last episode we watched, the setting what do you call it?

The set was so very different than even this episode.

And so it tells me they were filmed probably at different points in time.

And I just wonder if Anthony has tried to like, he was not really a super well developed character, but they really liked him, so they sprinkled him throughout the whole season.

So he had some representation theory based on nothing.

I'll take a theory based on nothing.

Well, there's some the set dressing being different.

That's true.

That's true.

Do you have anything else there?

No, sorry.

I took us way off track.

Apologies.

So I was going to go into this confrontation with Charlene.

That sounds good.

I mean, not the confrontation.

It wasn't good.

She lost her mind a little bit.

She went when it comes in on Mary Jo, you can just see that she's about to be in breakdown mode.

It's written all over her face.

What sets her off is that Charlene comes in late and she says, well, of course, you were out till 02:00.

A.m.

Dancing with my dad again.

Again, yeah.

So this has been going on a few nights.

We get mention of old man underwear again.

We just can't go an episode without talking about it.

I don't what's happening.

I guess that's the only indicator of sex is whether or not she saw his underwear.

For all we know, this might be the closest that they could get to having that.

Kind of like, maybe they talked about some things I feel like I don't maybe, yeah.

I leave you with old man underwear.

She brings up Ted and Suzanne again.

So this is where you realize she still hasn't gotten over what happened really early on in the season.

She basically like, there are millions of men around the world.

Why are you pilfering from my billions?

Billions?

What does she say?

Why are you pilfering from my drawers?

She said, how come they keep raiding my house?

Oh, I just made up, like, lingerie drawer in my head.

That's what she.

Thinking of.

I don't know.

Harkening back to your sorority.

So she slings, in my opinion, a few low.

Am I'm somewhere?

I think I'm on Anthony's train.

Because when Anthony leaves, he's like, you're making good points.

And he walks out the door.

He's like, I don't want to be involved, but I'm going to drop a bomb on the way out.

He's saying, Mary Jo's making good points.

But I mean, what she says is she says she's sick and tired of everyone around here going after all the men in her life.

I mean, it is statistically significant that now there's four women in this office.

Three are not hers.

Two of the women have been out with two of the men who have played significant mean in her life.

I mean, I'm not a mathematician.

I don't know, man.

She hooked her up with JD.

Suzanne hooked her up with JD.

So I just think they keep a small social circle.

There's just not a lot of people around there.

Atlanta was much smaller back, small town.

Yeah, it was just on a small studio lot in Burbank, California.

So it was a little bit of an ugly conversation.

But Charlene was making some really good points, too.

You thought did.

Because she defends herself like nothing is happening.

And I've already made my feelings known.

If you're going out and dancing with someone till 02:00 in the morning and open mouth kissing them, we don't know that's happening.

I was going to say there was no open mouth kissing.

Don't perpetuate that myth.

We just know that's how she kisses her friends.

That's what she did with Paul.

Can I say so as you're saying this, it's hitting me why this episode doesn't bother me.

Because I mentioned in the because you.

Open mouth kiss all your friends.

All of them.

All of them.

I just think it's just a thing.

It's polite.

One after the next in the missing.

Script alert from that discotech scene, she friend zoned him.

She clearly said, like, you're such a good friend to me.

And we don't know that because we didn't get to see that scene.

But I think for Charlene, this really is like she has met someone that is just interesting to her.

He has really good stories.

He has this cool life he's lived.

I don't feel anything romantic on her side of things.

I think you and I read that missing script and saw two different, very different I saw them leaned up against the outside of the bar.

It's like dark, and there's just a little bit of light coming down.

There's like a steam rolling across humid in the midnight hours of Atlanta.

And they're real close to each other and they're having this conversation.

And I think you're picturing them in like, a cafeteria.

There's like the really blaring light overhead.

I was thinking Charlene's picking her teeth and she's like, tell me more.

What is this woman?

Yeah.

Could you run my bunyan for just a second, too, while you're talking?

Well, that's just a fast forward relationship, that's all.

So she wants to get married, right?

Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm not feeling anything romantic.

On his side, for sure.

On her side, not for sure.

So I'm having a really hard time.

She is just very at, Charlene.

Yeah, she is just very flirty.

I'm not mad at her.

All of these people are characters.

You seem really mad, Selena.

You're yelling.

I'm sorry.

No, actually, I thought that Charlene does the smartest thing here, which is she points her back to her dad.

She says, you need to go talk to him.

And that's what sort of hit me here, is that I think that something that you and I do have in common about this episode, is we all know that everything that's happening on the surface has nothing to do with this, right?

And I think that it's very clear that, like I said earlier, mary Jo and her dad do not talk.

And what I think is highly unfair here I've got a lot of hand gestures going on here, guys.

What I think is highly unfair is that she's obviously angry with her father about the divorce.

And so I know you're mentioning Ted as a through line in all this, and he definitely is, and that is an issue.

But I think the daddy issues even supersede the precede and supersede.

That's a good point.

The ted issues.

I'll give you that.

And I think that that is very unfair for her to take those emotions and spew that over everyone in the office and not spew.

Okay.

I've got nothing but terrible words in this episode.

You're welcome.

But it's really unfair.

And I also feel like even today, men many times get away with things because there is a perceived power imbalance, and that sometimes leaves women to feel like they can't stand up to a man because that's not right.

Excuse me?

Not because that is not right for that power imbalance to be there.

And I think it's even more complicated because there is a power imbalance in this situation.

It's her dad, right?

And that was an authority figure at some level in her life.

So there's that.

So Charlene points her back to her dad.

This bounces this back to Mary Jo's house, to her dad.

It looks like he's maybe packing and getting ready to leave, and she confronts him.

This is why we call you the Queen of Transitions, where we are now.

Just starting now.

Okay, perfect.

Okay.

I like it.

So they end up talking about the divorce.

She puts it out there and just says, not at first.

So I'm going to say at first.

She lies in the beginning and says she's not upset.

And I think this is why it hit me so much more.

The next time I watched this episode was I'm like, I hated it.

I watched it twelve times.

But it's research, guys.

It's research.

She already has a lot of we've laid this groundwork with Mary Jo that she has trouble confronting people, that she has trouble she'll say, like a snide comment, but in a healthy way, like truly letting someone know how she feels.

She really struggles with that.

And I think that's what we see at the beginning of this last scene with her and her father, and she's, like, saying some passive aggressive things, but some of these things are not wrong, because I think another thing that bothers me about she was so excited for her dad to come there.

We didn't talk about that that much in the beginning, but one of the things that she says is, like, she's wanting all the other women in the office to talk me up.

Guys talk me up.

I'm so excited for my dad to be here, and he's know and all this stuff.

So he's spending every night with Charlene.

That's also not fair.

Right.

And I think that's something that's struck me as well.

Well, Mary Jo's been a little bit of a wet blanket.

I wouldn't want to spend time with her either.

She's always yelling at him.

No, she's yelling at him now.

Right.

Well, that's true.

So it gets pretty emotional.

She sort of asks him, like, how could he have thrown away all those years with her mom?

And this is after confirming that nothing has happened with Charlene, because that's where this started.

Has she seen your underwear?

Yeah.

Signs of a good time, guys.

And he said, no, I don't wear underwear.

So she has it in her head that they got divorced because he just gave up and just walked away or something.

And he explains that it's just a little more nuanced than that.

It's just they loved each other.

They had a beautiful time together.

It wasn't wasted time.

It just had its time.

And then it was time to move on, which was it was a nice conversation.

My favorite part of the conversation was when he actually reminded her that she's divorced.

That was almost mind blowing to me that yeah.

She was approaching this like her divorce was irrelevant to any of this and not part of this conversation.

Yeah.

And she was holding her parents to an unfair standard.

Yeah.

Do you want to know what my real thoughts were during this whole scene?

I do.

I had to force myself to listen because I was so bored with it.

Yeah.

I just didn't care.

I have nothing invested in this.

I just wanted to be like, Mary Jo, it's time for therapy.

Oh, that's a good point.

We all need it, and you're among us.

She really needs it.

She really needs it.

He said the thing.

Fortunately, I think that good divorced parents say, which is, like, it wasn't totally wasted time, because if for no other reason, then you're our child.

We had you together, so if we hadn't been together, we might not have you.

Well, we also got from that cut script before that her mom was a big part of saving him.

Right.

So I think that he has a lot of admiration and love for Mary Jo's mom.

And I think this probably was if we'll acknowledge the time, we are just getting into an era.

I think where more people are getting divorced and not staying together.

And I kind of think that, look, things don't always last.

And I kind of think that this was a more beautiful way to look at it, to talk about as much as I didn't care.

But it was nice, though, I think, to hear him talk about that time was still sacred and it wasn't a.

Waste, and it just sounds like they hadn't had that conversation.

And I think Mary Jo needed closure.

They haven't talked at all.

Yeah, they've never talked.

Well, she iced them out, is what it sounds like.

Do you remember the Reba McIntyre song that the greatest man I ever knew, never knew, lived right down the hall?

I think that happened a lot, and I think that happened a lot in the south, and I think it was still happening in this era.

I think it still happens today.

But I also think that men are, with each generation, are being allowed to feel more yeah.

We're pushing back on that concept of toxic masculinity.

Yes.

And that you are, by default, by nature, of having a p****.

You are not allowed to do X, Y, and Z.

You're not allowed to be sensitive.

You're not allowed to own your emotions and feelings.

And I think that's changed a lot since certainly from Mary Jo's dad's time.

But even with my own husband and the way that my husband approaches parenting and the way our friends husbands approach parenting, it just feels really different.

Yeah.

And almost like men are more allowed to be comfortable in their own skin.

And I think I had heard somebody say before, like, boys are told all the time when they're younger, be tough, be tough, be tough, don't cry.

And then when they get older and they get in relationships and women are.

Like, why won't you cry?

Why would you ever show emotion?

And so it's just to say, I know we talk a lot about women's issues on this podcast, but everybody's got issues.

We all have issues.

We're all needing to go to therapy, and on the next episode, we're all going to do therapy together.

I'm just kidding.

We are not speaking of therapy and people who need it.

Mary Jo, I think, gets the closure she needs out of that conversation with her dad, some sense of closure, because she feels comfortable going back to her best friend in the whole world and apologizing and saying, like, I'm real sorry I messed up.

She apologizes.

Like, really apologizes.

She has a surprise.

She does a really fantastic.

Cute okay, so then she brings in Charlene's Man from the poster.

Yeah.

You hated this.

I did.

I hated the whole thing.

Handsome or oh, see, this is hard for me because this is a real human being.

Right?

Yes.

I will say this.

I was like, Maybe I don't get it because the hair is so different at the time.

But was that even popular in the don't know.

He looked like Tom Selleck to you.

Oh, he had a big mustache.

I thought it was Tom Selleck.

I mean, both times when I saw the picture, and then when he showed up in person, I thought I was like, wow, they landed a really big star.

Tom Selleck will be so glad to hear.

I thought this guy was like the stature was way different.

I definitely see how you think that was, like, someone who looks similar, but this guy was much thinner, I think.

Okay, so if we're not going to talk about the way he looks, can we then talk about we're literally talking.

About the way he looks.

Yeah, but not the way you want to get into the juicy stuff.

Okay, let's go to this question.

What's the end game here?

Oh, after they awkwardly shake hands after the party.

The after party, what comes next?

Sex.

Guilt free sex.

I just was like, so to what end?

What's going to happen now with Tom Clarkson?

Well, in four seasons and after Charlene's gone, he's going to come back.

Oh, perfect.

Okay, so we'll have some closure.

Yeah.

I don't know.

It was weird.

It was 1987, right?

Okay.

Every time something gets weird, that's what we're going to say.

Did you think this is where that was going to go, though, since they introduced that in the beginning of the show, we didn't talk about this, but when she gets that poster and Charlene and Suzanne are like, drooling over this guy, he's the so hot.

So hot.

The hottest thing I've ever seen.

I think you're just saying hot because we're hot.

Well, maybe they introduced the fact that he's right here in Atlanta, but I did not necessarily think they were going to drag him in at the end.

And I was just curious if you.

Thought that was I didn't think they were going to drag him in.

I knew something I figured something else maybe would come up.

I didn't figure it would be it was so awkward.

This was a real cringe scene for me.

It's just that it's right up there with the dancing.

The dancing.

So you guys know.

Yeah.

And also, I will be so frustrated if I work there and somebody brought in a poster of a person to hang in the office for no reason.

No, there was a reason.

Because he's so sexy.

I just think in an interior design firm where they're trying to convince people they can decorate your house, you don't.

Want a pick and save poster.

A dollar pick and save poster.

Maybe the $10.01.

Fortunately, the episode ends.

Fortunately, right about the time I start scratching myself because I feel so uncomfortable.

We have one more missing.

Oh.

And let me tell you why I think okay, well, let me tell you what it is.

Okay, perfect.

And then I'm going to tell you why I think it was a good cut, except, like, I wish this whole thing had been cut.

So Mary Jo passes along a message from her dad, which harkens back to the beginning of the episode because basically, she tells Charlene to expect some black market orchids.

Oh, darn it, I missed that.

You're right.

And that get out.

I know.

So that's like a callback to this woman that he loved because that's a story that he told on the dance floor.

And she asked Charlene to reconfirm that.

Nothing happened.

That's why I think it's a good cut, because she does this grand apology and then she's like, but did you sleep with him?

But really, did you see his underwear?

Right.

I start asking people that.

Did you see his underwear?

You're just really trying to spend some time with HR this year, is what you're trying to tell me.

Well, and that's the end of that episode, so good riddance.

Nikki, let's rate this sucker.

Let's do it.

Get it out of the way.

You got a rating skill?

I do.

Okay.

What do you call this?

The dance move.

Have y'all ever seen the Rockham sockham?

Isn't that what those things are called?

Or if you've seen Kevin McAllister in Home Alone, too.

I'm trying to think of how to describe this to you.

And so he does the thing where he sets up behind the shower curtain to make it look like someone's in there who can really do the cool jerk.

That is the dance that Niki's doing right now.

But it's the dance that dr.

Jackson.

Davis Jackson?

Yes.

Mary Jo's dad did on the dance floor with Charlene.

That's my rating skill.

But you don't have a name for it.

I don't.

Can we could just call it the Chubby Checker?

Yeah.

I'm going to give it two Chubbies.

That's everything I wanted more.

I am going to go with the Chubby scale because my scale is not going to that was Nikki that did that.

That wasn't me.

Let's give her 15 minutes.

You all she's going to be saying all kinds of stuff.

Walk us through that.

I didn't hate this episode.

I really did.

But you gave it a two.

Go on.

Yeah, well, some people might say that two Chubbies this good.

Two chubbies seems sometimes better than one.

Chubby going all the way in.

I didn't think this was a horrible episode.

It was just filler.

It was a filler episode.

The Dancing Man.

I cannot get over that discotech scene, and I'm going to watch that boomerang of him dancing for the rest of my life.

So it was just cringey.

The whole episode was cringey.

This was one of those I think you mentioned one of the last episodes we recorded.

We have to watch these a couple of times, and sometimes you start to watch it and you're like, god, I really don't want to watch this one again.

That's what this one was for.

Me.

Yeah.

So I gave it a one.

Oh, my.

Just one chubster.

Is this your first chub?

Your first one?

I can't even tell if you did that on purpose or not.

Is this your first one?

I think it is.

Okay.

I'm trying to figure out how to answer this question and not make it worse than it is.

It may be the second time this is my fault.

My actual scale initially was red blooded American men, but yours is so much better, yet somehow related, yet somehow the two have a connection.

So this wasn't the episode for you?

No.

I feel guilty saying this, but I've been saying it the whole time, so I just didn't care about this plot, and I think part of it is as well.

It was, like, maybe a big watershed moment to talk about divorce in 1987 in, like, a deep way.

My parents have been divorced since I was two.

What?

That's good connection.

So I'm sorry.

I think you mean 1998.

That's what I meant.

I'm just kidding.

I don't do that with my age.

You guys, I'm 36, and I'm okay with it.

I mean, I'm not okay with it, but I'm not going to say I'm 26, because that's ridiculous.

Also feels like a lot of work.

You got to go get Botox, make sure your grays are covered.

I was thinking the math.

Oh, right.

Feels like a lot of work.

But yeah.

Also, they're bringing this character in.

We don't get to meet him for a long time.

He spends most of that time dancing.

And thank God for that.

Yeah.

And so it's hard for me to become emotionally invested in this heart to heart that we work towards at the end.

I'm just not into it.

There was also a lot of little things in the episode that I didn't think worked very well.

If it had been, like, one alone or even two, I would have been okay with that.

But altogether, I don't know, it made it a less enjoyable watch.

Anthony freelancing the van with no payoff whatsoever just is not a good use of him.

Oh.

What was the button?

On that scene or on that?

Know, after you said that, I realized I don't think there is one.

She told it, but it just stops there.

Right?

Yes.

Okay.

I thought I missed something.

Were we talking about this on mic or off mic?

We were talking about this on mic.

That is this real or not?

Yeah.

And so I think the button was just, like, Julia kind of asserting, hey, this is my business.

This is my van.

Whatever's happening after hours, pets or no pets, needs to stop happening.

And Anthony basically looks at her and says, like, I hear you.

It'll stop.

Which is why I felt like there was something else under all of that.

So you doing that and giving it that depth makes me like that more for some reason because I think it shows some really interesting side of their characters.

But still, that's more payoff.

But let's just say if it was really the dog grooming business what are you doing?

Yeah.

Charlene going on that tear at the beginning about how there's more than life to a man, and then she's like, Here a man.

Right, guys, blow my mind.

And then everyone was being inappropriate in my mind.

It's just a lot of inappropriate.

Yeah.

Her dad shouldn't have asked Charlene out, in my opinion.

I didn't really understand that move.

Charlene should not have been it's one thing if she's interested in him, that's fine.

She wants to spend time with him.

There's something about him that just really does it for her.

But don't stay out with your friend's dad till two in the morning if they're not just it just feels cringy to me.

Mary Jo should not be taking her anger at her father out on her best friend.

And JD.

Should not be excusing Mary Jo's dad.

So I just felt like it was like a domino of wrongness to one.

It didn't feel like really anybody was being their best selves.

And then that Gone With the Wind conversation was the one saving Grace.

So what I'm trying to say is that's the only one.

That's why it got one.

Right.

And it was Anthony, because he's always saving the day.

Right.

So there's that true.

80S things.

I had a typewriter disco ball and Tom Clarkson's mullet and mustache being considered attractive.

So you're trying to say you're not a mullet woman?

I'm not a mullet woman.

Okay, well, that's all right.

I had all different things.

Oh, good.

Yeah.

The man shortage.

So this kind of is a callback to what we talked about in episode five's, extra Sugar, and it relates to these scare tactic stories the media rolls out occasionally to make women feel inadequate.

It's a good time, so don't worry, guys, it still happens.

And then I had break dancing on.

That on here we have good call.

That's what Mary Jo describes her dad doing.

So I'm also like, Mary Jo, you do not know what break dancing is.

I appreciate your it.

She couldn't call it Home Aloneing, which is what he was actually doing.

So go with break dancing.

It was too soon.

Southern things.

I had Mary Jo calling her Mom Mama and Gone with the wind.

I had calling your dad Daddy.

My note says, seems very Southern to me.

I don't do it.

I'm just trying to bust out those Southern stereotypes.

Some of us just say dad.

Just saying.

Describing Sugar bakers as dandy.

That's what her dad says, David.

It's just dandy.

And I thought that sounded very Southern.

Mary Jo says about Charlene and her dad that you couldn't get the crack of dawn between them.

And that sounded very Southern to me.

Along with the gum with the wind reference.

Civil War brings up some southern stuff, I think.

And then also this stereotype that is really what Suzanne is referring to, which is that in the Annabellum period, that people just being so polite and so genteel.

Okay, what about references you had to look up?

I had to look up Lawrence Welk and his champagne lady.

So Lawrence Welk had a TV show from 1951 to 1982 where he played music.

It was called champagne music.

It was like a music variety show.

And he had a Champagne Lady who was the lead female vocalist who he would draft to dance with him.

I don't know.

Just FYI, the idea of watching people dance on TV is just hard for me to imagine.

I know there's like, Dancing with the Stars, but there feels like a draw.

There like celebrities or former celebrities just watching a man and a woman dance.

I don't know.

So I had to look that one up.

Well, first there had to be TV.

Then you had to watch something on it.

That's true.

I also had to look up this quote that her dad had that Mary Jo always gives him the look Eleanor Roosevelt used to have when she came up from the coal mines.

I had to look that up.

Okay, what'd you find out?

Eleanor Roosevelt toured the coal mines.

Okay.

She wasn't happy about it.

She was not.

She was the first 1st lady, in a lot of ways, the first 1st lady to do anything beyond hosting social events and being kind of like a face for the administration.

She actually took very seriously the role and wanted to make a difference and kind of carved out a role for herself.

And so touring the coal mines, a lot of people saw that as a really unbecoming thing for her to have done.

Why would a lady go down in the coal mines?

Is actually considered bad luck for women to be in coal mines in offices.

So a lot of people actually believe that she was the first woman to ever go underground in Appalachia because there was that superstition that women being in the coal mines was bad luck and that it would bring bad luck on the coal mine.

So anyway, while she not the coal.

Mining, right, not the coal dust, not the black lung, but the ladies got it.

It's all those vaginas down there just making things tough.

Right.

That's the problem.

You know the old saying, it's the v***** in the coal mine, not the canary in the coal mine.

So while she was visiting the coal mine, she discussed wages in safety and other workplace right issues, workplace rights issues with the employees, and then later became an advocate for worker protections, including unions.

Communist.

So all of that to say, when she came up from the coal mine, she probably had a pretty unpleasant look on her face.

Yeah, I do not think she's a communist, by the way.

That was.

Tongue in cheek.

I want to be very cautious about that.

I think she's a very fascinating person.

I'm so glad that you looked into that.

I kind of assumed that it was something in that vein, but I didn't realize all that other backstory to that.

Everything I've ever heard or read about her is just like, she must be the most pure heart, including the fact that I think she would go in and she would read the mail that came in that was addressed to her, which I know sounds silly, like, oh, big deal.

But she would go through and then she would like she was just something about letters would come in from people asking for things that they needed because they didn't have enough.

And she just took that part of her job very seriously of making sure she would fulfill those needs.

So if they said they needed a coat, then she would make sure, gosh darn it, that they got some coats for that family or whatever the case was.

She just sounds like a really beautiful person.

I had to look up pick and save.

No, I mean, I got what it was, but obviously I've heard of pick and save.

I was thinking in the piggly wiggly hoggly woggly kind of vein.

So I looked it up, too.

Actually, I should have put it here.

That's a good call.

I looked it up because I thought it was southern, found out it wasn't, closed it down.

Okay, well, that was all my references that I had to look up.

So guess what's next?

What?

Episode 20.

Holy moly.

Yeah.

Seams from a Marriage, which I do believe is a play on words from scenes from a marriage.

So that's as far as I've gotten in my research.

Guys, stay tuned.

It's going to get real exciting.

I watched the episode.

I don't love it.

Oh, already?

Okay.

Yeah, I watched it, too.

I need another go.

So, we'd love everyone to follow along with us and engage on Instagram and Facebook.

You can find us at sweet teantv and then on email we are sweetpod@gmail.com.

And then on the interwebs where we store our crap is at www.sweettv.com and we hope that you'll join us there.

And you know what?

Hang tight for Nikki's extra sugar, where we'll learn a little something.

Why'd?

You make me laugh.

Why do you sound British?

I don't know.

I don't think that's British.

I don't know what that is.

That's called tired.

Anyways, hang tight for Nikki's extra sugar while we'll learn a little something about Greek life.

And from there we'll see you around the bend.

Selena.

For this week's Extra sugar, we're going to dive headfirst into sororities with a grit split like game.

You want to play?

Yes.

Okay, great.

Splits.

So, I'm going to give you a word associated with Sororities, and then I want you to tell me what you know or think you know about that word I want this to be relatively rapid fire.

So kind of like, first thing that comes to mind.

Quick definition.

Something like that.

Okay.

Do you think that's doable it's?

Definitely.

That I'm afraid it might come out.

Hmm.

Well, this might get interesting.

Dear listener.

Meow.

So, Selena was not in a sorority.

I was.

So that's why she says it might get caddy, I think.

No, I think it's just more the stereotypes.

That's the first thing that comes to mind.

So I'm not really trying to be a b***, but I'm tired, and something buttheaded might be the first thing that comes to mind.

Fair enough.

But that could be for anything.

You could do a Bible quiz right now, and I'd be like Mike and Catty up in here.

I need to work on my cat noises.

So we're not doing a Bible quiz.

We're doing a sorority quiz.

And the reason we're doing it is because in the beginning of episode 19, suzanne and Julia have an exchange about sororities.

Suzanne says, you don't know what it's like to feel a deep, unbreakable bond with 70 or 80 of your closest friends, which was one of my favorite lines in this entire episode.

It's pretty good.

So, for folks who don't know, a sorority is an organization on a college campus whose purpose is to foster friendship and community among women.

Sororities began as a way for women to find intellectual and social companionship with one another.

Notably, they started, like, a century after the first fraternities.

Sounds right.

That tracks.

Just a nice 100 year gap going right.

So, the word comes from the Latin word soror, which means sister or cousin.

Daughter of a father's.

Know the definition of cousin or female friend?

I think the reason I'm so excited to talk about this is because I was in a sorority.

It was cool to hear Suzanne talk about her sorority experience.

I sort of probably assumed she was in one, but it was cool to hear her talk about it, even if briefly.

And sororities are really intertwined with the Southern college experience.

In fact, the first one was founded in Macon, Georgia.

Really?

Or something like that.

So Time magazine says there are a couple of different sororities that lay claim to being the first in some way, shape, or form.

But Alpha Delta Pi was founded in 1851 in Macon, Georgia, and it was founded as the Adelphian Society, and it touts itself as the first secret society for women.

That's kind of cool.

But Pi Beta Phi was founded in 1867, and it calls itself the first national group to be patterned after men's groups with multiple chapters.

Where was that one?

I don't think I wrote that down.

Well, it wasn't in the south, so who cares?

It was not in the south.

Yeah, well, sorry about that.

Skip it, then.

No, seriously, if it's not this is a Southern podcast.

That's why I'm focusing on ADPi.

Yeah, connecticut.

You get something every day.

Let us have our sorority.

Just kidding.

Connecticut.

We love you.

Come on the show so it's just.

A brief history of sororities.

I am talking today about social sororities.

There are also like philanthropic sororities.

There are academic sororities.

This is what I'm talking about.

Today is the traditional group of friend.

Sororities oftentimes they have a philanthropic sort of arm, but it's mostly social in nature.

That's what these terms are related to.

I want to put that caveat in because some of these terms might not be relevant to women who were in sororities, but they were in maybe an academic sorority or something like that.

Okay.

I'm so scared of what you're about to do to me, I can't even tell you.

Oh, this will be fun.

Like I said, I'm going to give you a word associated with sororities.

And then just as rapid fire as you can, tell me what you think.

First thing to come to mind.

Okay.

And brain.

Oh, not yet.

Not yet.

We haven't started.

My bad.

I also may have some show and tells for you along the way.

She's getting loopy.

I'm just preparing.

You did show and tell last night or last recording.

So now I'm doing show and tell.

Okay.

And this is not dirty, guys, just so you know.

No, not that kind of show and tell.

Yeah.

Okay.

Your first word.

You ready?

No, but go on.

I know you don't look ready.

I'm going for it.

Badge.

Something to do with your name?

No, not specific enough.

So a badge is an insignia of fraternity or sorority membership, worn only by initiated members.

Each sorority has its own unique badge that can be decorated in different jewels and comes in a variety of shapes and sizes.

Wait, like on a person?

How about I show you one?

Oh, okay.

If it is on a person though, that's sort of what I meant.

Like a name tag.

That's why I said something to do with your name.

This is my badge from when I was in a sorority.

Can I see it?

Can I pearl on it?

There is a pearl.

Put my grubby non sorority hands on it.

I know I have to wash it.

I'll polish it later.

Okay, we made two different jokes there, but they were both against me, so it's fine.

So a badge is an insignia related to the sorority and you wear it again.

Only initiated members can wear it and you can wear it.

You know what, I'm taking it away from you now.

You can't be trusted with this.

You can wear it to different events even after your time in college is over.

So I have friends that will wear them to weddings when another sorority sister gets married.

Oh, that's sweet.

It is nice.

We also call it a pin in the real world.

Right?

So I think I can take a picture of it.

Yeah, it's like a pin, right?

I forget people can't see this.

It's not just you and me talking.

It's a pin that you put on your dress or your shirt.

I've definitely seen them before.

I just didn't know what their name.

Well, there you go.

Yeah.

Now you know.

Learning left and right.

Extra sugar.

All right.

Your next term, PNM.

Peanut nut material.

She's good at this game, you guys.

She's good.

PNM stands for potential new member.

That's someone not associated with Greek life but has the potential to go through rush.

Okay.

I mean, I was in the ballpark.

Go on.

The next one.

I hope you know this one.

Legacy.

This is someone who their parent or someone in their family was in that same sorority.

Ding, ding, ding, ding ding.

Hey, I've seen Legally Blonde.

I don't know if that's what I know that from.

So a legacy is a daughter, sister, or granddaughter of an initiated member of a sorority.

So different.

Sororities can have different types of legacies and different definitions for legacy.

And being a legacy does not guarantee that you'll get a bid to the sorority.

But does it get you more points?

Okay, I think it's she gave the little head nod.

I think it can be helpful.

She gave me the secret sorority call.

Did not.

There was like some wings.

Did not.

And then she threw her elbows up.

I don't know.

We'll have to put that on social media.

Any Alpha Gams who are listening, I shared nothing secret with Selena.

She's inventing all of this.

Your next term, rex.

Rex, is this maybe like something that you do in your spare time?

Like a recreationals oh, that's a nice guess.

And it is something you do in your spare time.

Okay.

It's recommendations.

It was what Suzanne was doing at the beginning of the episode.

It's a form or a letter completed by an alumna recommending a potential new member or PNM for membership.

Peanut nut materials.

Correct.

Okay.

Right.

Okay.

Your next term, ritual.

Well, okay.

This is like such a regular word.

You're doing great.

But I mean, this is something that sororities keep up over the course of all of the years together when they stand in a circle and sing a song.

Oh, my gosh.

You know what, Selena?

I'm going to give you that one.

Oh, really?

Ritual is the private traditions and practices of a sorority deeply rooted in the shared values and purpose of the members.

Rituals serve as a reminder to each member of her responsibilities and inspire her to fulfill them.

Rituals connect the past with the present and the future.

I mean, I have to tell you that while I appreciate you giving me that one, I feel like it was not that close.

I think.

Well, my interpretation of what you were saying is it's the special things that sorority sisters do with one another that only sorority sisters would know.

Yeah, I just took you down a little bit of a winding path.

That's cool.

I can wind.

I can wind with the best of them.

The best of them.

Life's hard.

All right, your next word.

Preps.

Prefs.

Prefs was the beginning of the book, the preface.

Well, hold on now.

Hold on, I'm not done.

Oh, okay, good.

See, when you're in a sorority, you're very busy because you have to log these hours, right?

Because you're good works to get into heaven.

Hold on, I'm not following.

Hold on.

So there's not really time for full words, right?

But you're also in school.

Yes, that's true.

And it's really important to have your prefs, the prefaces of books.

Okay, you didn't get that one right.

Not even close.

I'm not even going to give you like, tangential rightness?

Because you said the beginning, it actually refers to the end of something.

Oh, no.

Prefs is short for preferentials.

Oh, come on.

I almost said that, but that seemed like a mean thing to say, even though I don't know why.

That refers to the last round of recruitment.

So recruitment happens in phases.

So you have your first round of recruitment where everybody's sort of doing you're doing your rounds at all the houses, you're briefly getting to know the sorority sisters, getting a feel for each sorority.

And then you go round by round and slowly the idea is that you're narrowing down your list of preferred sororities and the sorority is narrowing down its list of preferred members, the members it thinks that will best represent the sorority's values and mission and shared purpose and all those things.

And you're doing the same thing on your side.

So you get to this last round, this preferential round, where hopefully you are sitting down with your preferred sorority to decide if it's a good fit for one another.

This look you're giving me.

So what are the layers above the prefs?

Do those have names?

I don't think they have specific names.

Round one.

Round two, I think there might be.

You're asking me to go back in time to 15 years ago, so I don't think they have specific names.

Okay.

Because I'm like do the names get no.

Okay.

No.

By the time you reach the other side of that is it Igor?

No.

You guys really miss a lot without the video.

Okay.

Your next term.

Okay.

Rokai.

Roll Tide.

No, this is the.

Rokai.

This is the device that you use on your TV stream apps.

I don't understand why you weren't in a sorority.

You know everything about them.

It's amazing.

It's so good.

You're very wrong.

Rokai is a recruitment counselor.

It's a sorority member who is temporarily disassociated.

Hold on.

Now do you see what I'm saying?

Everybody's so busy that we're shortening all the words.

Yes.

Right, okay.

Correct.

We're very busy people.

I know.

So this is a sorority member temporarily disassociated from the sorority to serve as a recruitment guide.

And so their whole purpose is to answer questions from potential new members as they go through recruitment.

If they're disassociated, do they still get to sleep in the house, or do you all, like, you put them in the yard?

Not in the yard.

They go and sleep somewhere totally different.

They have, like, a special where?

I can't tell you that.

Oh, it's a secret.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm just kidding.

Secrets.

Okay.

I'm like, they're in the dog house.

No, that's not a good one.

No, they just have a special.

Like, I think there might be a section of one house.

I have a friend who is a Rokai.

I should ask her.

I think it was a special section of one house that they all go stay in.

Or it might be a dorm somewhere on campus.

But all the Rokais are sort of separated from the sororities okay.

I'm glad that they weren't, like, tough crap.

Ladies, find your own way home tonight.

Not at all.

Not at all.

It's a lot of coveted it is.

I think it is for a lot of women because it's an opportunity to share your experience with other potential new members, make them feel comfortable.

Because recruitment and recruitment is also called rush.

That's what most people know it as, is rush.

The technical term is recruitment, and it could be a really overwhelming experience, especially if you're new.

At UGA, where I went, it's a really big campus.

I did not go through fall rush, so I don't know any of these things from firsthand experience.

I rushed in the spring, which is a much more laid back rush experience.

But in the fall, you're rushing with hundreds and hundreds of other girls, and it can be super overwhelming.

So the Rokais are there to be a resource for them.

Okay, and then your last one.

Are you ready for your last one?

How do you feel like you're doing?

Terrible.

Okay.

But I would like to say that I'm giving you pretty immediate answers.

You are?

No, you're sticking to that end of the bargain.

I'm very proud of you.

Your last word.

Lava.

Lear.

Yeah.

So when a sorority member really takes that next step in life after graduation, they need something to get around in quickly.

And so you've heard of the Lear jet?

I have.

Okay, so this is kind of like that, but it's branded specifically for sororities.

So it's a plane.

It's a plane.

Okay, that is wrong.

No, I thought you were going to go somewhere when you said it's a step.

It's a step after the sorority.

So I have another show and tell for you.

Why don't you describe for the people, since I forgot to do that last time, why don't you describe what you're seeing in front of you?

I'm seeing a jewelry box, and inside it is a necklace, and it looks like it has your letters on it in a vertical line.

There you go.

It's pretty.

So a lavalier.

The basis definition of a lavalier is a necklace with Greek letters on it.

So not a plane.

I want to make sure that not a plane.

Okay, but there's, like, a weird.

Okay, so this gets interesting.

Okay.

This is where non sorority members might look kind of weird looking at me as I'm explaining this to you.

Wait, hold on.

So I don't look weird?

No, you're looking at me weird.

You look weird.

Yeah.

Okay.

Just wanted to clarify.

Go on.

So a lava lear can also be a ceremony.

And it's not as common now, but it used to be that if a fraternity member had a special lady, he would lavalier her where he would give him it's not dirty.

He would give him his letters, and he would say, you're my special lady.

Almost like a promise ring, like an intent to be together for a long time.

Like, I really respect you.

I think you represent the values of my fraternity.

I want to bestow my letters on you.

I want to brand you.

Go on.

So it was a really big step.

And then after that happened, you would go back to your sorority house, and you would have a candle lighting ceremony, and this is where your sisters are joining you in your excitement to have been lavaliered.

You say branding, I say lavaliered.

Potato, potato, tomato, tomato.

And then you get to leave with your mrs.

So in my time in the sorority, I think I remember maybe one lavalier.

What we oftentimes had was an engagement ceremony, which was where a girl actually got engaged while she was in the sorority, and we would do the candle lighting ceremony.

So I don't really remember lavalier.

The only reason I know it is because I have one, which I got after I got my bid to the sorority.

Okay, but this is not from an engagement.

I did not get engaged.

No.

Okay.

No, I did not get this.

That would be a really hard way for Kyle to hear that, I think.

Or a good test about whether or not Kyle is listening.

Right.

Dang it.

Tell him there's some juicy bits.

Terrible.

In episode 19, they really got the old lavalier.

So that's it.

That's all the terms you know now?

Well, maybe do you remember anything I.

Just said to probably?

Yeah, I probably do.

But I think maybe you guys should consider some of the things that I shared as well.

I like the lear jet idea after.

Just it's all about success.

Your card.

Something like that.

So let's bring it full circle real quick.

Okay.

We've talked about suzanne was in a sorority.

We've talked a little bit about sororities we did a crash course.

Who do you think in the designing women cast was in a sorority when she was in college?

Oh, that's a great question.

I'm concerned that I may have I read this before.

If I have, I don't remember if that's good news.

I think it could be any one of them, honestly.

Oh, man.

Okay, this doesn't make for good listening, so I'm going to say some words out loud.

That would be nice.

So that it's not just dead silence and me going, my first instinct was to say Gene Smart.

So you know what?

I'm going to rank them.

Okay.

So first, I think it's most likely to be Gene Smart, just because that was the first name that came to my head.

And then I'm actually going to say that for some reason, although maybe wrong.

It could be Delta Burke.

Then I'm going to go.

Dixie Carter and Annie Potts.

So go ahead and tell me that it was Annie Potts.

No, it was Dixie Carter.

Okay.

She was a delta.

Delta.

Delta or Tri delt.

And Jean smart.

She was an Ad Pi, which we learned was the sorority that was established in Macon, Georgia.

That is a really good full circle.

What'd I tell you?

You just really woke me up.

What I tell you?

There you go.

Yeah, well, there you go.

That's all you need to know about, sororities right.

That's it.

That's all you've ever needed to know.

So you've seen my badge, you've seen my lavalier.

And go ahead and tell your sorority sisters that this is also the official inducting of me into the sorority.

It's a little off book.

You're not dressed properly and we have too many lights on.

Is it because my shirt says, a well read woman is a dangerous creature?

Well, that's not what I meant.

That is perfect.

Taking you down.

No, you're supposed to be dressed a little more boring than that, so you cannot be inducted tonight.

But mind your P's and Q's and you might be in.

We'll see.

I just wanted to see if I could really scare the crap out of your sorority sisters.

They don't care.

That's what you think until they meet.

So, that was this week's.

Extra sugar.


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