In this week’s episode of “Designing Women”, Charlene straight-up quit Sugarbakers. She decided the “put-on-an-outfit-with-shoulder-pads, tease-your-hair, leave-your-baby-with-a-nanny, and head-into-the-office-for-the-day” lifestyle just wasn’t for her. She needed more time with Olivia. More time for play dates. More time for snuggles. More time for…her programs. The whole shebang.
As the resident ST&TV “working mom”, who better to talk about the stay-at-home-parent experience? Nikki, of course! Well, maybe not quite, but hopefully close enough after all the research she did for this segment.
We’re calling this week’s segment, “Stay-at-Home Parenting: All The Work, None of the Pay.” Let’s talk: a brief history of parents who do not work for pay, particularly changing trends for dads; pros and cons of staying home; the invisible tension between parents who do work for pay and those who don’t (and how to break the tension!); and a few self-care tips for any parents who stay home, so it doesn’t feel like one, long Groundhog Day.
Here are a few of the resources we used to put together this segment:
Pew Research Center analysis on stay-at-home parents statistics, including trends
VerywellFamily’s summary of the pros and cons of being a stay-at-home parent and a CNET article on the estimated “salary” of stay-at-home parents
Former First Lady of the United States, Barbara Bush’s, full commencement speech at Wellesley College in 1990 and Newsweek’s coverage of “The Mommy Wars”
A 2021 TIME article about today’s version of “The Mommy Wars”
A VerywellFamily’s article of self-care tips for stay-at-home parents
Oh, and shameless ST&TV plug: This segment is a nice companion piece to an “Extra Sugar” we did in season 4 - it was episode 16: “Working Parents: The Kid/Career Circus.” It might be worth a listen, if you want to think about both sides of this coin.
Come on y’all, let’s get into it!
Or listen on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Amazon Music.
Transcript
Nikki: Hi, Salina.
Salina: Hey.
Nikki: Hey, everybody.
Nikki: Welcome to this week's edition of Extra Sugar.
Nikki: So in this week's episode of Designing Women, charlene straight up quit sugar bakers.
Nikki: She decided the whole put on an outfit with shoulder pads, tease your hair, leave your baby with an nanny, and head into the office for the day lifestyle just wasn't for her anymore.
Nikki: She needed more time with Olivia, more time for playdates, more time for snuggles, more time for her programs.
Nikki: She just needed the whole shebang, and that didn't include work.
Nikki: So, as we've established before, I am the resident working mom on sweet tea and TV.
Nikki: So who better to talk about stay at home parenting?
Salina: It's not me.
Nikki: It's not quite me either, but close enough, right?
Salina: I think, yeah.
Nikki: I did, like, a lot of research, so I hope I can capture the main themes we'll see.
Nikki: None of this is based on personal experience, and I'll be honest about that.
Nikki: This is all my research, like I said, in our main episode this week, that in a lot of ways, this segment is a really nice companion piece to an Extra Sugar I did in season four.
Nikki: It was episode 16.
Nikki: I called it working parents, the kid career circus.
Nikki: As you're listening to this one, it could be worth a listen if you want to think about both sides of this coin.
Nikki: So I'm calling this week's segment stay at Home Parenting.
Nikki: All the work, none of the pay.
Nikki: And with this segment, I want to cover a couple of things.
Nikki: A brief history of parents who don't work for pay, particularly like changing trends for dads, the pros and cons of staying home, the invisible tension between parents who do work for pay and those who don't, and then how to break that tension.
Nikki: And a few self care tips for any parents who stay home so it doesn't feel like one long groundhog day.
Nikki: I know we have some awesome international listeners, and like I said in that episode in season four, this episode is solely based on the American experience.
Nikki: So we'd welcome the feedback of the international experience.
Salina: I was like, this ain't for you all.
Salina: You all have all this stuff.
Nikki: I know, but just tell us how we're jacked.
Salina: Yeah, tell us what we're doing wrong.
Nikki: And then all the caveats I shared last time apply this time.
Nikki: So this segment isn't intended to other anyone or make anyone feel left out.
Nikki: It's not intended to stoke a competition.
Salina: Except for American politicians, right?
Nikki: Get it together.
Nikki: It's not me saying life is harder or easier for anyone, and in fact, we'll talk about that a little bit.
Nikki: It's just intended to focus on the experience of non working parents because that ties into this week's episode.
Nikki: And then finally, like always, I try to be gender inclusive where possible and where it makes sense.
Nikki: Understanding that working and parenting is a challenging balance for all parents, regardless of your gender, but there are some obvious gender differences, so I'm going to touch on those where it makes sense.
Nikki: Makes sense.
Salina: Elena it does make sense, but I don't know if I'm in on this.
Salina: If we're not going to make somebody.
Nikki: Feel bad, well, shoot, okay.
Salina: But it doesn't have to be parents, okay?
Nikki: Somebody should feel bad at the end of this.
Nikki: Disregard all that feel bad.
Nikki: So first we're going to talk about stay at home parenting and how that's changed or hasn't changed over time.
Nikki: So for this segment, I went back to the Pew Research Center to get the latest facts and figures on stay at home parents.
Nikki: I really boiled it down this time.
Nikki: I think I really got lost in the data last time.
Nikki: So this time I'm going to tell you.
Nikki: The proportion of parents in the US.
Nikki: Who don't work for pay or stay at home has been stable over the last five years.
Nikki: In 2020, 118 percent of parents fell into that category, a number which hadn't changed since 2016, over the last 30 years.
Nikki: So since the late 80s, early 90s, when this Designing Women episode aired, that proportion has fluctuated, and usually it rises along with national unemployment.
Nikki: So as unemployment goes up, stay at home parents go up.
Nikki: I will say I had to go back recently and double check.
Nikki: I put this segment together a few weeks ago.
Nikki: I had to go back and double check.
Nikki: But what about COVID How did COVID affect things?
Salina: Yeah, because I thought I had read a bunch of articles saying that it had forced a lot of women to leave the workforce, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's parents.
Nikki: Right.
Nikki: So I think there were some effects on women.
Nikki: I think it was maybe more temporary than a lot of people thought it was going to be.
Nikki: And I think it affected some dads, too.
Nikki: So I definitely think some parents decided to stay home.
Nikki: But these latest data, which was 2021, didn't reference COVID at all, so that was interesting to me.
Nikki: So it could have been one of those things that was sort of played up in the media and didn't actually bear out.
Nikki: That never happens.
Nikki: Right.
Nikki: Or it just seemed like a lot bigger problem than it ended up being.
Salina: Honestly, that makes me really happy because I thought that was one of the more upsetting things I had read.
Nikki: Yeah, I think employers, a lot of employers shifted to be really inclusive of parents because it affected everybody, even at the highest levels.
Nikki: And the highest levels of people making the biggest decisions also had to stay home with their kids for a period of time, so they relaxed things.
Nikki: I think we're seeing that shift now with employers bringing people back to the office after they've had this amount of time of getting to be room parents, because now they can actually leave work and be home at a reasonable time or getting to go to baseball practices.
Nikki: So I think that you might see those numbers shift again as we go back to the way things used to be if we do right.
Nikki: I know by gender, the difference is significant when you think about stay at home parents.
Nikki: So 26% of mothers stay home, where 7% of fathers stay home.
Nikki: That number, the 126, one in four.
Salina: Wow.
Salina: Okay.
Salina: I wasn't expecting it to be that high, honestly.
Nikki: I think this is not in my notes at all.
Nikki: I think it's not really a choice for some people.
Nikki: Sure.
Nikki: So I hear a lot with teachers especially, that they will choose to stay home when daycare is the alternative, because it's actually cheaper for them just to be home.
Nikki: They make more money that way.
Nikki: So one in four is I would expect that.
Nikki: And remember, this is like a point in time.
Nikki: So at any given point in time, there's a chunk of people who have kids who are daycare eligible.
Nikki: And daycare is so freaking expensive.
Nikki: I'm not kidding when I tell you we were able to buy a car after our kids were in daycare during COVID So it's just really expensive.
Nikki: So I think that explains things.
Nikki: Stay at home dads, though, that has changed over the past couple of decades.
Nikki: So between 1989 and 2021, the number of stay at home moms decreased slightly, from 28% to 26%.
Nikki: The share of dads not working increased from 4% to 7%.
Nikki: So not a huge increase, but it's headed that direction.
Nikki: Today, dads represent 18% of stay at home parents, up from 11% in 1989.
Nikki: So when you dig into the reasons for not working, maybe unsurprisingly, they vary based on gender.
Nikki: For instance, more than three in four moms who stay home say they don't work because they care for the home or the family.
Nikki: That compares to one in four dads.
Nikki: In 1989, just 4% of dads stayed home to care for the Homer family.
Nikki: So that is still a pretty significant increase, but still a lot less than the number of moms who say that actually the most common reasons dads don't work is because of illness or disability.
Nikki: And that's the reason one third of them don't work.
Nikki: There are a lot of other great statistics in that analysis, particularly around stay at home dads.
Nikki: I'll link to that in the show Notes if you want more.
Nikki: But I think we've successfully established a few points.
Nikki: Most parents do work outside the home.
Nikki: Among those who stay home, most are moms.
Nikki: But the share of dads who stay home is increasing.
Nikki: Specifically, dads who are staying home specifically for the purpose of caring for their family or their home or whatever.
Nikki: So let's talk about the calculus of deciding whether or not to stay home.
Nikki: As with all things in life, like you said, in the main episode, everything is a trade off.
Nikki: So there's no right choice around being a parent who works outside the home for pay or being one who doesn't.
Nikki: It's just pros and cons, and you just have to decide which list is longer for you.
Nikki: So one obvious implication is that one gets paid and the other one doesn't.
Nikki: Economists have estimated the quote, value of stay at home parents, in other words, the salary they'd be eligible for if they were paid.
Nikki: The mom salary survey estimated the annual value at $178,000 a year.
Nikki: $178,000.
Nikki: A lot of overtime.
Nikki: It is.
Nikki: And obviously they don't see a penny of that because they're not getting paid.
Nikki: So unfortunately, that's like a really big con for people, and that's a really big, important decision point.
Nikki: A few other cons of staying home, according to a list I found on Very Well Family, include stay at home parents often wish that they could go back to work.
Nikki: They don't even want to be home.
Nikki: They wish they could choose something different.
Nikki: They may have higher levels of sadness, depression and anger because they don't have as much social interaction.
Nikki: And probably, I would imagine, a lot of resentment in some cases.
Nikki: And then they feel, like I said, social isolation.
Nikki: But there are very big pros to staying home.
Nikki: So studies have shown increases in children's school performances among families where one parent is at home permanently.
Nikki: There's less stress and aggression for the child, and there's a chance to be more involved in your child's life and feeling good about the choice to stay home.
Nikki: All of these are really good pros for staying home.
Nikki: Of all those benefits, as a parent myself, the one that stuck out the most to me is educational performance.
Nikki: So the Very Well article, which of course I'll link in the show notes, highlights increased educational performance among kids who have one parent who stays home.
Nikki: That increased performance applies to kids all the way up through high school, but the greatest impact is among those who are six to seven years old.
Nikki: I think, though, it's worth saying there's a lot of research that shows kids do better in school when their parents are involved, whether they work or not.
Nikki: There's just obviously less opportunity for parents to be involved if they work, especially outside the home.
Nikki: So I thought that was interesting.
Nikki: And then I think that last point leads nicely to talking about the invisible, or possibly not so invisible tension between parents who work for pay and those who don't.
Nikki: Like we saw play out in this episode of Designing Women for me.
Nikki: We've talked about this a lot.
Nikki: I'm all for you.
Nikki: Do you?
Nikki: I'm pretty cautious about the language I use when I talk about parenting choices, particularly for moms.
Nikki: I don't think any of it's easy.
Nikki: During COVID I got the best of both worlds.
Nikki: For a little more than a year, I balanced my job, which is not an easy one, with raising kids who were both at physically and emotionally demanding ages.
Nikki: They were three and four most of that time.
Nikki: So think potty training, think big emotions, think can't read, think all these things.
Nikki: That's challenging time.
Nikki: And then of course, I also have so I got a little bit of a glimpse of what it would be like if I stayed home.
Nikki: But then I also have the knowledge around being a working parent.
Nikki: And I got to tell you, none of it's easy.
Nikki: None of it is easy.
Nikki: But that said, there are other people who don't see it that way.
Nikki: Plenty of stay at home parents, even some that I know personally get their fair share of, like, Dang, that sounds really nice.
Nikki: How do I sign up for that gig?
Nikki: That sounds cushy staying home.
Nikki: And then of course, plenty of working parents get that pitying look and that like, oh, I could never do that to my kids.
Nikki: They need you there.
Nikki: So what, you just send them off to daycare?
Nikki: They get so sick at daycare.
Nikki: Aren't you worried?
Nikki: Like you don't know who those people are.
Nikki: You get a lot of that.
Nikki: So that tension definitely exists.
Nikki: I think sometimes it's just in people not choosing their words carefully, but I also think some of it's legitimate.
Salina: I'm like trying so hard to bite my tongue right now.
Salina: You used to just have kids to have them farm the land and have multiples because so many of them died.
Salina: So I think they'll be okay at daycare.
Salina: Calm down.
Nikki: And you used to have twelve kids in the hope that the oldest six could take care of the youngest six, which I'm not sure is either that healthy.
Salina: Have you seen the facial expressions on people in old pictures?
Salina: No one was having a good time.
Nikki: So I would say the tension is definitely there.
Salina: Right now.
Nikki: I'm not sure it's as rampant as the media would lead you to believe.
Nikki: The whole like, Mommy wars thing.
Salina: Yeah, I agree.
Salina: I think for me, in my experience of what I've read on things, especially when it comes to the media piece of it, is like, we just like to scare the crap out of women for sure in both sides, and it doesn't matter.
Salina: And that goes back to what we were talking about in the main episode and what you're circling right now, which is this idea of damned if you.
Nikki: Do, damned if you don't.
Salina: So and I think that's really sad.
Nikki: And a lot of it comes from trying to achieve other people's expectations of us and trying to meet what other people think we should be doing.
Nikki: I'll say my research led me super down a rabbit hole.
Nikki: So I did the thing where I try to poke my head up and think about what was happening in the environment around the time of this Designing Women episode.
Nikki: Obviously, Charlene just had a baby and she works.
Nikki: So in any world, we were probably going to have to address that at some point.
Nikki: We did a little bit right after she had Olivia, and Olivia was coming into Sugar Bakers with the nanny.
Nikki: We had a little bit of that, so you sort of expect some of that.
Nikki: But actually, there was something happening in the spring of 1990 that I think actually could have been part of the impetus for this episode.
Nikki: And it truly was the genesis of the Mommy Wars.
Nikki: I'm putting that in quotes, the mommy wars as we know it today, as we know that as a term.
Nikki: So it all started when Barbara Bush, who is the wife, or is the wife of President George H.
Nikki: W.
Nikki: Bush.
Nikki: She was invited to speak as the commencement Nikkit Wellesley College, which is a private liberal arts women's college in Massachusetts.
Nikki: The students objected to her being invited as the speaker, seeing her as an unsuitable role model.
Nikki: She had been a stay at home wife and mother who they thought had gained recognition only through her husband's achievements, and as a result, she was not a proper role model for the modern woman.
Nikki: So this whole thing generated a national debate around what was the right way to be a woman and a mom.
Nikki: In fact, there was so much attention that her speech became the first speech by a First Lady to be broadcast live nationally.
Nikki: Publicly, she claimed this whole debacle was silly.
Nikki: She was like, you're all, like, up in arms about nothing.
Nikki: This is no big deal, they said, though privately, she was actually really furious about the whole thing and I think a little bit hurt that all this was happening.
Nikki: So in the end, she ended up inviting the First Lady of the Soviet Union to join her at this speech.
Nikki: She had been visiting the US.
Nikki: At the time.
Nikki: I think that's sort of irrelevant, but as soon as you read the articles, you'll see that she was there, and both of them spoke.
Nikki: But Barbara proceeded to give a speech about prioritizing personal fulfillment and relationships, and in the end, the speech was really well received, even among the students.
Nikki: So I would never do it justice.
Nikki: I'm going to link to the entire speech in the show notes, but I do want to share this little tidbit, and I'm going to preface it with a tiny bit of context.
Nikki: She started the speech by retelling an anecdote first told by author Robert Fulgam.
Nikki: The story is about a pastor who faced a challenge in a little girl who asked him about mermaids during a game they were playing.
Nikki: He told her mermaids weren't real, and she stood her ground.
Nikki: So Mrs.
Nikki: Bush says, now, this little girl knew what she was, and she was not about to give up on either her identity or the game.
Nikki: She intended to take her place wherever mermaids fit into the scheme of things.
Nikki: Where do mermaids fit into the scheme of things?
Nikki: Where do mermaids stand?
Nikki: All of those who are different, those who do not fit the boxes and the pigeonholes.
Nikki: Answer that question, wrote Fulgum, and you can build a school, a nation, or a whole world.
Nikki: So later in the speech, she comes back to this context.
Nikki: She finishes the speech by saying for over 50 years, it was said that the winner of Wellesley's annual hoop race it's a tradition at Wellesley would be the first to get married.
Nikki: Now they say the winner will be the first to become CEO.
Nikki: Both of those stereotypes show too little tolerance for those who want to know where the mermaids stand.
Nikki: So I want to offer you today a new legend.
Nikki: The winner of the hoop race will be the first to realize her dream.
Nikki: Not society's dreams, her own personal dream.
Nikki: And then a little bit more and she says, well, the controversy ends here, but our conversation is only beginning and a worthwhile conversation it has been.
Nikki: So as you leave Wellesley today, take with you deep thanks for the courtesy and honor you have shared with Mrs.
Nikki: Gorbachev and with me.
Nikki: Thank you, god bless you, and may your future be worthy of your dreams.
Nikki: So after weeks of criticism in the media watching this incessant conversation about which was better, she kind of nipped it right in the bud by reminding each one of these graduates that they should do what they want, not cater to society's definition of what makes a woman quote, the right kind of woman.
Nikki: It was right.
Salina: I'm going to need some time to sit with that one.
Nikki: It's a lot.
Nikki: Yeah, it's a lot.
Nikki: It's challenging.
Nikki: I will say being a girl mom in society because your instinct, or at least mine is after the generation of people that we are, is to say, like, you should do mathematics, you should do science, you should be aiming for a high powered career.
Nikki: But I've also had the most fulfilling part of my life so far has been some of the moments I share with my kids in my closet and your closet, with my kids and with you right here.
Nikki: But I think then there are all these expectations that now girls should eshoe all things pink.
Nikki: We shouldn't be into pink, we shouldn't be into mermaids and unicorns.
Nikki: Don't pump that down her throat because then she's only going to think that's ever what she is.
Nikki: But also that's okay.
Salina: She likes unicorn.
Salina: And I think fortunately you are it seems cool.
Nikki: Yeah.
Nikki: I think fortunately we're living in moment of the Barbie movie.
Nikki: We're living in a moment of renewed sort of yeah, like this time where it's okay to like these things.
Nikki: So it's a difficult time to raise girls.
Nikki: But that is very tangential to the mommy war conversation, which certainly didn't end with Mrs.
Nikki: Bush's speech.
Nikki: As I said earlier, I'm still hearing pieces of it today.
Nikki: Full disclosure with you, Salina.
Nikki: In writing this segment, I took a couple days break away from it and came back just to finish off the rest of the segment.
Salina: But I had left all the Barbara Bush speech.
Nikki: Yes.
Salina: Was it really?
Nikki: In fact, it was.
Salina: I have so many questions.
Nikki: It's a lot.
Nikki: Yeah, it's a lot.
Nikki: So I left everything open on my computer, and then a couple of days later, I picked back up skimming what I thought was the Newsweek article from 1990 about the mommy wars.
Nikki: But I finally realized I was reading an article from 2021 about the mommy wars instead.
Nikki: I only realized my mistake when it mentioned the pandemic.
Nikki: That's how much the conversation about working moms versus non working moms hasn't changed in 30 years.
Salina: Wow.
Nikki: I genuinely thought I was reading an article from the 90s.
Salina: Sure.
Nikki: So to be fair, the 2021 article was arguing it actually was arguing beyond the fact that we should drop the wars between moms.
Nikki: It actually cited a Romper editorial written by two mothers working outside the home in high profile positions.
Nikki: They were saying we should consider dropping the term working mother altogether.
Nikki: The article says these two women, catherine Goldstein and Joe Piazza, wrote in Romper we should quote, retire the phrase working mom because all moms work, and it doesn't help moms in the labor force to pretend otherwise.
Nikki: We now realize that our feelings of superiority came from buying into a sexist narrative.
Nikki: Paid employment isn't the only kind of valuable work, and it does not make someone a different category of mother that was relevant to them.
Nikki: Experiencing stay at home parenting during COVID Wow.
Nikki: So, yeah, that was a lot.
Nikki: And so that means progress, right?
Nikki: That's a little bit of progress.
Nikki: That at least now we're saying not only should we move beyond judgment, let's consider our language carefully.
Salina: I think recognizing that condescension is a really big piece of it.
Salina: I'm not a mom, and I am like, you don't have kids and I'm like, in the traditional workforce.
Salina: Okay.
Salina: But I see what happens to this underestimation of a person who chooses to stay home.
Salina: And I think I've always bumped on that because I am going to go think about my choices in life because I don't even know if they've been my own.
Salina: But I think you could probably argue that for every so influenced by so many factors, but that one hit hard.
Salina: Truly.
Nikki: You just got to be able to look in the mirror at yourself and say, I've done the best I can with the information I've had.
Salina: Well, good news.
Salina: I love looking in the mirror.
Nikki: Not the literal mirror.
Nikki: Let's see more to be done.
Nikki: Progress has been made.
Nikki: There we go.
Salina: Work, kids, life.
Salina: Designing Women.
Nikki: Bam.
Salina: Boom, done.
Nikki: We're not done, though.
Nikki: To round this out, I found an article with 15 self care tips for stay at home parents, which I'm going to link to in the show notes.
Nikki: But like I said in the working parents segment, a lot of those tend to feel really dull to me.
Nikki: Like, if I could just do that, everything would be solved.
Nikki: So I went through the list and I pulled out some that I felt like, okay, you could actually maybe try to do this again.
Salina: I like that about you.
Nikki: Yeah, I mean, just don't give me crap.
Nikki: It's tough.
Nikki: Just don't give me crap.
Nikki: One of the things was to carve out time to be alone.
Nikki: When you're surrounded by kids who need things all day long, it can be especially helpful to find just a few moments just to be, and that can be very challenging.
Nikki: But they will find stay at home parents.
Nikki: They will unless you lock their door.
Nikki: No, I'm just kidding.
Nikki: But for me, some of my reflection time is very early in the morning before the kids are up, or at night before I go to bed, but after they've gone to bed.
Nikki: Just finding even if it's just like ten to 15 minutes, to sit quietly with your thoughts.
Nikki: In a similar vein, that article suggested scheduling time for social events with friends or family.
Nikki: This is one I would struggle the most with if I were a stay at home parent, because I'm always inclined not to do social things.
Nikki: They feel optional to me.
Nikki: They feel like I'm wasting time.
Nikki: But having time with other adults can be really helpful.
Nikki: So have friends.
Salina: It was nice to have you here today.
Nikki: See you again in three weeks.
Salina: Thanks for coming, for your obligation.
Nikki: I had to get dressed.
Nikki: Taking a Digital Detox I'll take a.
Salina: Cue out of my book.
Nikki: Taking a Digital Detox or Stepping Away from Electronics.
Nikki: I don't think a lot of people realize how on they are when they're just scrolling social media or replying to text.
Nikki: They are essentially social events.
Nikki: So drain you when you compound that with feelings of comparison or inadequacy that can stem from poking around on social media, it really just can become a huge mental drain.
Nikki: So it can be really helpful to just step away from a bit from that.
Nikki: A bit, I'll say.
Nikki: It's always somebody mentioned in an article I was reading, downtime with Having kids, you don't realize how much time you're going to have where they're off playing by themselves.
Nikki: But you can't get too involved in something you really care about because they're just going to need you in five minutes.
Nikki: There's a b*** to be wiped, a juice to be poured.
Nikki: There's something they're going to need.
Salina: You lost me at b*** to be wiped.
Nikki: But it's a very temporary period of time.
Nikki: You still got to do your own.
Nikki: I can't help you with that.
Nikki: But there is this weird way time works with kids, and a lot of people fill it by scrolling social media, because you can pull away from that at any moment.
Nikki: But it's really a bad habit to get into.
Salina: You're just basically exhausting yourself.
Salina: This thing is so addictive.
Salina: It just gets on my nerves.
Nikki: It's really so the last one I'm going to bring up, I feel like I bring up every time I have a segment that requires tips like this.
Nikki: But it's about being mindful, taking time to move through life, actually processing what you're doing rather than just doing the things.
Nikki: And a lot of parenting, and I imagine this is true for a lot of stay at home parents, is the routine.
Nikki: It's the getting up and the setting out the bowls and the putting the spoons out and the pouring the juices.
Nikki: And you do it all on a routine.
Nikki: You're on autopilot.
Nikki: You're not even processing that.
Nikki: This could be this breakfast at the table with your kids could be a really magical, wonderful moment that you'll never get back.
Nikki: And instead of focusing on, well, God, I got to pour cereal again, focus on the fact that for a moment, a very brief glimmer in time, you get to sit with your five year old and your six year old and your seven year old at the breakfast table.
Nikki: Be mindful.
Nikki: It's helpful for everybody.
Nikki: So if you're a stay at home parent, hang in there.
Nikki: Your value is so much higher than you'll ever be paid for.
Nikki: But hopefully at least your family recognizes it.
Nikki: And if they don't, kick them out.
Nikki: As always, please remember, you can follow along with us and engage on Instagram and Facebook at sweetv TikTok at sweettvpod.
Nikki: Our email address is sweettvpod@gmail.com and our website is WW sweettv.com.
Nikki: There are also several ways to support the show.
Nikki: You can tell your family and friends about us, rate or review the podcast wherever you listen.
Nikki: And then on our website, you can find more ways to support us from the Support US page.
Nikki: And come back next week for a brand new sweet tea and TV take on designing women.
Nikki: This has been this week's extra sugar.
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