We were so excited to record this one. Bernice has slowly edged her way into our TVs - and our hearts! - as the Designing Women seasons have progressed. But, in season 6, she really arrived. As you can tell from our summary of all her appearances this season, she's all over season 6. While we didn’t have whole, Bernice-focused episodes to talk about, we had a whole lotta oddball comments, near-rumble belligerent face-offs, and a little bit of singing along the way. Let’s talk about it all.
For this week's "Technology Takedown", let's imagine the world with a "Designing Women" spinoff, but this one all about Bernice. Let us know what you think about our alternate reality!
Come back Thursday for this week's accompanying "Extra Sugar" which is, unsurprisingly, all about our favorite kooks on TV!
Come on y’all, let’s get into it!
Or listen on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music.
Transcript
Salina wanted to do a twirl but it was too hard
Hey, Nikki.
Hey, Salina.
I wanted to do like a twirl and like a slow reveal, you know.
But it was too hard with the wires and the microphone.
Yeah, yeah, you'd have to reset up everything and then you might. Or you would, drown me. Well, then you'd be like, here's how you're doing it wrong. And I'd be like, I know.
This episode is dedicated to our favorite, the one, the only. M.
Anyways, what I was meant to say is also, hello, everyone else. Or y'all maybe, and welcome to sweet tea and tv. We are at season six and this episode, episode four, is dedicated to our favorite, the one, the only. I know I say it every time, but this time, I mean, it's the one and only.
I mean it. The most.
The most. Because she's the hostess with the mostest. Maybe she's the something. She's never hostess, but I bet you she'd be okay. Ms. M. Bernice Clifton.
I should have done that before you said Bernice Clifton.
I could have paused. Yeah, well, so what?
What?
Yeah, what has our lady with the arterial flow problem been up to?
So somehow we really upped the Bernice factor this season without getting a full Bernice focused episode.
And if my memory, slash, going back in time through looking at, episode summaries is right, she didn't even show up eight episodes in. Yeah, and somehow she managed to steal the show this season. So what we've done is we've taken the episodes where she has an appearance, I guess, really any episode she appeared in, but they were all pretty substantial.
So we have episode eight, the Strange Case of Clarence and Anita. this is the episode where the ladies use Mary Jo and Julia preparing for a stage version of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane as a backdrop to debate their take on the Clarence Thomas Anita Hill sexual harassment hearings. in the background, Carleen was throwing Allison her first birthday party. And then in the planning of that party, we learned that she and Allison, she being Bernice. Bernice and Allison have a little bit of a special bond. They go out shopping for party favors in this one. Then we have episode nine, Just say do. This is the one where Mary Jo's long lost brother Skip shows up. he falls in heavy, like with Allison. it was also the episode where Bernice came in dressed as Queen Elizabeth, which was the costume she wore to treat the patrons of a new Atlanta car wash.
So good.
Then we have episode 10, Rusty and Julia sitting in a tree. This is, of course, the sweet episode where Julia goes on a date with Rusty for his birthday. But then agrees to a second date, which turns out to be a glorious double date at the drive in movie theater. Bernice and Anthony end up paired together, and fortunately for everyone else, she saves the day by choking on popcorn. in episode one of the podcast this season, I mentioned that this was one of my favorite moments of the season. Episode 11, Julia and Mary Jo get stuck under a bed. We've talked about this one, like, so much, but this is where Mary Jo and Julia get stuck under the bed of a holiday decorating contest competitor.
Just in case you couldn't get it right from the, you know, just say doe. Where's that going?
Right.
Yeah.
so this, this competitor turns out to be very randy. but it was in this episode that Bernice bought everyone a thigh master. And we find out that, when Anthony and Carlene went in to spring the ladies from under the bed, Bernice, was trying to blend in with a nativity scene on the front lawn. Yes.
I couldn't remember if she was there behind a deer on the roof or something.
Yes.
I just knew it was somewhere weird.
Much safer on the ground.
Yes.
episode 13, Tales out of School. Anthony and Carlene are cramming for final exams, but Anthony realizes he could maybe push for a better grade by connecting one of his professors with Carlene, who the professor expressed an interest in. So our Bernice bit in this one includes her having given Mary Jo, like, a bra and some panties that she picked up at a swap meet. she also was working with Carleen on a laptop to create a will for herself in this episode. And then she had a short circuit moment where, ah, she talked about how the holidays overwhelm her, which I thought was very relatable. I feel that way too.
This is the episode where Allison and Carleen meet Bernice
episode 15, Pain Comes Home. This is another one of those. If you can't guess it from the title, I can't help you. Pain Comes Home. But more importantly for this particular episode of the podcast, it's also a flashback episode where Allison and Carleen meet Bernice for the first time. the bit is that, Bernice comes into the business and Allison doesn't realize who she is, so she proceeds to treat her like a normal client. and Bernice enjoys having her butt kissed a little bit. this is also where she first starts looking for someone to go see the new Ernest movie with her.
Yes.
And that's another moment where we realize that Allison is that lucky lady and a new partner for Bernice. Partner in Crime, episode 16, Carleen. And you just stopped Me.
She's, like, in a lot of episodes.
She is. I like so many of them. After episode eight, episode, 16, Carleen's apartment. So, Carleen gets a new apartment. I feel so silly. M. So, as any adult does when they get a new apartment. You didn't do this actually, Salina. You didn't invite me over for a slumber party.
Okay.
I could say no.
You would say no. Hey, Nikki, you want to come over for a slumber party?
Well, Carleen did throw a slumber party, at her new apartment.
And even Allison showed.
Even Allison? Am I the Allison of our podcast?
You're not even Allison of the podcast because you wouldn't come at all.
Alison was very much. She did not want to be about it. She did not want to be there. And it's partly because Carleen's apartment is in, like, a really exciting part of town. Allison was not thrilled about it. Bernice is next level unhinged in this episode. On a scale of 1 to 100%, Bernice, this is the one I think people would point to, like, Bernice heads. This is the episode we're like, that's who Bernice is. we're rounding home. We're getting close to the end of the list.
Bernice goes full on mother hen for Anthony when he's discriminated against
We got episode 18, a scene from a mall. This is the one where Julia has that seriously misguided attempt at advocating for Anthony when he's discriminated against at the mall. but he. The whole thing is that he had taken Bernice shopping for dainties when everything went down. Bernice goes full on mother hen for Anthony in this one when she says, you're picking on my chick. When, you're picking on my chick, you're pecking on the wrong side of me. she offers to bring the big hairy cafeteria men from Hillcrest Leisureland to take up for Anthony. Episode, 19, all about odes to Atlanta. In this one, Carlene writes a song about Atlanta for a music competition related to the Olympics, thereupon attracting a weird groupie. Bernice is answering the phones throughout this episode because the business has either gotten so busy and. Or because everyone is distracted by this songwriting competition. Either way, it's as delightful as you'd expect. Crazy sugar bakers. Our prices are insane and sugar bakers are girls. Work cheap. Those were some of her best lines. Episode 22, A Little Night Music. My not so favorite episode of Julia going through a bit of a health scare. The surgeon kind of takes a shine to her. Anyway, Bernice thinks she saw Carleen's Parents on Hard Copy in this episode.
Let's go. Kind of a little bit of a throwback to Suzanne thinking she'd seen Charlene's nanny.
Nanny on Unsolved Mysteries.
Yes.
Yes. Good call.
Bernice goes from feisty to belligerent this season
All right. And finally, episode 23, Shades of Vanessa. this one brings out a different side of Bernice to me. It's unclear whether it's simply because of her push up bra, which she claims, like, makes her a little more on it and a little more aggressive and astute, or if it's because Vanessa is infringing on her one of a kind kinship with Anthony, which is what I think is happening.
Two things can be true.
This is true. Good point. Fair enough. Either way, it's a special kind of Bernice in this episode. So those were the episodes featuring her. Did I miss any, or was there anything you'd add?
Let's just start from episode one. And can you go through and give us just a snippet of each of each one all the way through? 23.
Sorry, guys. It's just Bernice, man, she showed up.
Everywhere, and I'm so glad for it. So.
So to streamline some of that, her major plot points, so we go from feisty Bernice to belligerent Bernice this season. Yeah, it was a thing.
She's a little unhinged a time or.
Two crazy in a different and new and exciting way.
It was still with a capital D. Delightful.
Yes, I agree with you.
But I might have been scared if she had offered to fight me.
Yes. You, remember in I don't want to go too far in Carleen's apartment where she tries to get a piece of Julia?
I do.
I would have been scared if I had been Julia.
I was scared.
So then we don't get a lot of information about her personal life. But I did jot down. I think you shared a couple things. I jotted some down of things we did learn about her this season. So she briefly worked at the carwash as Queen Elizabeth, which I said, that was episode nine. Just say do. she shops at swap meets for fairly inappropriate things like undergarments. She gets very abrasive at the holidays, and she has connections with some very scary people at the Hillcrest Leisureland cafeteria. So that was episode 13, Tales out of School. She doesn't sleep in a top. We learned that in episode 16 in Carleen's apartment. I feel like it's good to know that about someone before you invite them over for a slumber party.
Is that not what was going to happen at my slumber party or. Oh, look, Nikki just went fully behind her casing there.
Worst case scenario, whole head disappeared. She's also a very big Ernest fan. dragging Alison to see at least one earnest movie, But I'm pretty sure they might have seen two throughout the season. Big Earnest fan?
Could be. Ah, I can't remember, but that was a callback Yeah, I hadn't heard about in a while. I also loved an Ernest movie around that age.
Ernest Scared stupid. It's a good one.
It is.
do you have any other plot points you wanted to mention?
I think you got him.
I'm encompassing today.
So we're calling our Bernice Season 6 adventures. So we have, like, 18 episodes
So we're calling our Bernice Season 6 adventures. Bernice. Ready to boogie? Ready to rumble. You want to walk us through some of our superlatives this season?
Absolutely.
If you're still awake over there after my summaries of all the episodes.
Look, she was just in more than anybody else, and it was really cobbled together, because I think what I would say is, like, she is just purely comic relief now. so that we're not getting something where she's, you know, like the one episode where she almost got married to the guy who's in the car commercials or whatever. So it's just changing, and so there's nothing, like, solid to go off of. So we have, like, 18 episodes, you know.
Right.
What was your favorite Bernice episode overall
For this, though, speaking of all of those episodes, we were talking about the best episode overall. What was your favorite for Bernice?
I think my overall best was episode 16, Carleen's Apartments. this one gave us a lot of lead up to our Bernice appearance. So I, think that built the excitement a little bit. They spent, like, a lot of time with the background audio with, like, the car scene really driving home. The point that Carlene's apartment is not in a quaint area of town. so when we hear that Bernice is going to meet them there, you, as the viewer are sort of wondering, like, how's this going to go? And then Julia says, bernice is dead. I laughed out loud every time I watched that line. Bernice is dead. Then when we finally see her, she is belligerent. Bernice, in a way we've not ever seen her before. She's drunk on the one Mai Tai, the one bad Mai Tai.
All it takes.
That's a good point.
Yeah. Because she probably on some meds that aren't supposed to be mixed with alcohol.
And so.
Bernice is firefighter ready for any situation she might find herself in
And that is a good segue into my next point, which is that upon arrival, she Shared that she had to stop by and find out about that whole news live, nude, totally nude, and figure out what the distinctions were all about.
Thank God someone committed to the work that Mary Jo first asked about.
You know, so Mary Jo is the ideas gal, and Bernice is the doer when.
And they weren't even together, so she's. They're making it happen separately.
They're just making it happen separately. They're. They're super cosmically aligned. And I loved when Bernice, you know, and Mary Jo asks her, like, what did you learn? And she's like, listen, sister, I'm not telling. If you want to find out, go in there, pay 1750 for a bad Mai Tai, and then we'll talk.
And that is the average cost of a cocktail now. It is. Yeah. I don't even know what's that be?
What's inflation like?
Like, Pink Pony or something?
Yeah.
A million dollars. They're just like, $39 more than I.
Would pay, let me tell you that. but that. That her picking a fight with Julia was another favorite. I've been wanting a piece of you for a long time. and then I really loved when, everyone was complaining about their hot dogs and how they just sort of didn't smell right. And she goes, you people whine too much. If you don't like it, don't eat it. Put it in your purse. Like I did.
So good.
There are just so many sparkly Bernice moments through that episode.
Well, it's. So I'll just go ahead and rip the band aid off and say this is my favorite episode as well. or the best episode, but it's also my favorite.
Yeah.
So that, you know, we've talked about there. You can distinguish that the best isn't always your favorite, but sure. she. So the topless thing is funny, but it's also funny. It's why she doesn't need an overnight bag, because she's got her PJ bottoms under her clothes and she doesn't sleep in a top. So she's got it all worked out.
She's covered.
She has a plan.
She is firefighter ready for any situation she might find herself in. And I appreciate that about a person.
Except for firefighters coming in because there's a fire and her hoot. Her hoo haws are out. Nope. I was trying so hard to keep it appropriate and went to, another. Another body part, and she's got two of them. I mean, we're in a really weird situation. Anyways, at some point off screen. Also, she made everyone leg wrestle.
Yes.
So we do get like, a, a little glimpse of that as well.
Can I argue, though, that having your hoohas hanging out when the firefighters show up could be considered firefighter ready for some people?
It could be.
I could see that being firefighter ready for Bernice.
Oh, that's true. That's actually probably preparing four. Would those be her ho. Hos? I was gonna say hooters, not her. Just you saying hooters. Like, I'm just. I'm just, like, trying not to go straight to the.
I also thought hootie hoos. I don't know.
Anyways, it does feel like she would. That is her firefighter ready. You're absolutely right.
And did they say that she leg wrestled or just that she had other people leg wrestled? Do you remember?
Oh, that's a good question, because I would love to see her leg wrestle. Let's do it again. Yeah. Yeah. The hips of that age. The hips of this age. Ah, I don't know. Also, now I'm concerned that people won't think that we know differentiations between body parts.
I think we may know them. We do. We just don't know the PG version of saying them.
no, I only know the bad version. And I shouldn't say bad. I only know the version that ends our clean podcast. That's what I'm trying to say.
Okay.
Thank you. Thank you for the path.
There are no worst episodes with Bernice. It just doesn't happen
Okay. So what was your worst episode?
I am so fascinated to hear what you have here, because I don't have anything. I cannot give Granice a bad episode.
I would love to say that I have something here, but I don't. There are no worst episodes with Bernice.
It just doesn't happen.
I think where we're going to also agree is, if anything, I could look through that list and tell you the ones where she would have made it better.
Yes.
And it's every single one of them.
Yeah.
There's nowhere where I couldn't have found a place for her.
Yeah.
And I almost wonder if she had something else going on towards it until, you pointed that out. I didn't realize it was. Was that far into the season.
I think I meant to look that up at some point and got distracted.
Because she still did, like, show. Yeah. Or like, stage stuff, I think.
I think that's right.
Okay. how about your. It can be one, it can be three, you know? Or was it just hard to hold to it? Funniest.
Funniest ones. I have three.
Okay.
Yep. I Counted again. so I'd say this with care because I can see with this with Bernice, it's going to get challenging for me. We're also. We also have a category of cringiest, tracking 2024 lenses with 1992 TV. And Bernice was older and had no filter, obviously, so she can say whatever she wants. So when she sings Black Man. Hm, I died, I thought it was hilarious because one, it's wacky, like, what is happening right now? But two, and I think I mentioned this maybe in episode one this season. I just remember that from childhood and I. Or like younger hood. Not really childhood, but younger. Like when I was younger. I remember that and I remember that always being really funny. So it brought me a special sense of joy. So the first time that she sang that in episode nine, which is when I think she first sang, it was a real funny, moment for me. A real happy moment for me.
Well, also, Anthony's reaction is really good. And, I think we all get the idea that no one's like, yeah, go.
Great idea.
Yeah, wonderful.
What a wonderful song.
Absolutely.
I also had. When Alison and Carlene meet her for the first time and pain comes home. So we had all met Bernice, obviously, well before this time we understand what we're walking into with her. But for Allison and Carleen to get it for the first time and for us to get to watch it with that backstory was just a real special treat. and then, of course, no surprises. Her loving Ernest. I love that. That's perfectly random. And 1992 must have been a banner year at the movie theater for Bernice if she got to go see an Ernest movie. And, then my last One was episode 23, Shades of Vanessa. This is just like, generally she was delightful in that episode, but it was the whole bit about the bra helping her arterial flow issue. And just like some of the things that were coming out of her mouth. Just buy a damn push up bra and you cause a damn scandal. It was just all the things were firing.
It feels like maybe she got some of Suzanne's jokes. And like, also like Anthony when he was it Lita that he dated years ago. Suzanne was like, jealous.
Yeah.
And now Bernice is jealous.
Bernice has taken over that.
Yeah. So we don't lose out on that. We're just getting it with the other most delightful character. So.
And they had sort of, I think, built that narrative, like, made it a natural transition.
Yeah. Because they were spending all kinds of time together.
There was a special Bond there. But yeah, that's a good point. That maybe they were transitioning some of that to her.
So here's the ones I had, uh, I had mentioned this in the first episode
So here's the ones I had, I had mentioned this in the first episode, but every time that she nonchalantly dropped the name of previous lovers, many of whom were famous, it just happens the whole season. So we get Warren Beatty, Wilt Chamberlain. She thinks she was John Denver's groupie. Right. Like a bridge over troubled water. Am I right? and her briefly forgotten tryst with her car wash manager. She, like, forgot. She's like, oh, that's why I got fired. We got caught in the backseat or something like that. This is amazing.
Her whole life is amazing.
It is. I mean, it's. Maybe she's the one I'm hanging out.
Happened.
Yeah. As long as there's someone to take care of you. That's important because I don't know, she's taking care of herself. and then I'll just go ahead and say, like, you know, we talked about feisty Bernice. Like, we've moved on a little bit from that. But really, some all times high, all time highs. I mean, I might have cheated here a little bit because I've got three examples of this, but they're just so good.
I feel like we've talked about the fact that we didn't get Bernice Focused plot lines. So I feel like we've earned a little cushion over here about funniest moments.
This is where we get her. So this is the one where, I don't know if you heard this or not, but Julia, Mary Jo, they get stuck under the bed. Do they?
What's that episode called?
I can't remember. I'm, sure we would rename it something that people would get mad about. I think that, this is what she said in the episode. I think we should get some bricks and baseball bats and go over there and teach them the true meaning of Christmas. Like, I don't. I don't hardly know what I know what to do in Tales out of School on Presents. Just so you know, Ms. Goodwill, being my friend is not enough. I want merchandise. I sure as hell don't want another Life Alert necklace. Buy me some jewelry and some kick ass leather pants. If I fall down, I'll get myself the hell up. So good. And then in just say do, she says, I'm attractive. I come with my own tiara and I'm ready to boogie. And if that hadn't been so long, that would have been the name of this episode. I kept Trying to make it work. And I was like, this is just 35 words, but it's so good. and then I've got one more, which is the arterial. Ah, flow. Bernice. And this. It kind of, like, just teases out what you were talking about. About how holidays do something to her, but she starts, like, losing it. Singing the Christmas carols. Almost like she likes. Yeah. and it starts off with her returning the Thigh master gifts that she brought everyone. she says, but I get very abrasive during the holidays. They started playing that sleigh bell song at the mall last Labor Day and won't let up. I can't remember what song is that. She sings it, but she's like, will it, Will that one Someone will know. Yeah, but she's just like, short circuits, which is how I feel at work all the time.
So, uh, how about up to 3 cringiest or most obnoxious moments
So, how about up to 3 cringiest or most obnoxious moments?
So I went the cringey route because I just. I don't think I have it in me to call her obnoxious. and I'll just say it's all about episode 16, because there was sort of a string. In addition to the Black Man. Black man song, she also calls him Mandingo, which we've talked about previously, just not good. and then she called him stuff, which I can't place. I don't know if that's a reference to something.
Do you know if that has some sort of tone to it? I don't know, but I thought it was really cute.
Okay.
So I don't know. I could just be missing something.
I just assumed it was not good.
Oh. So there was just a somebody called me stuff. I think I would be like, oh, thanks.
Oh, really? Because, see, when I think of stuff, I think of, like, crap.
Oh. And I think of, like, that almost sounded like grandparent talk to me. Oh. You know? Hm. So I, like. I don't know. I don't know now if anybody knows.
Something about the string of things she was calling him felt derogatory.
I can see how that would be like an outlier instead of everything else that's happened. And I. I also had all that on my list. So,
So that was it for me.
Yeah, you got all mine. We're good. Both, socially or culturally important or relevant plot. It just rolls right off the tongue.
I feel like I've missed something here because I have nothing here either. But it's that challenge of Bernice not having, like, major plot points.
Bernice says she tore into the cops that went after Anthony
okay, so here's What I have. So episode 15, Pain Comes Home. so in terms of culturally important, the Earnest movie. Oh, are we sure that's not.
Good point, good point.
Followed by their plan to go to the Monster TR rally. I just feel like they're really bringing together a cultural moment there. So maybe not the cultural moment that you and I had intended when we wrote this out. You know, a fun, light, a Cool Whip version, if you will.
Bernie Springs the culture is what I'm.
Hearing you say, on the serious side of things. 100% on the serious side of things. I think it was her involvement in a scene from a mall. So what I really like is that she tore. We don't get to see it, but we get it recapped. She tore into the cops that went after Anthony. Police. she actually hit him in the face. We don't condone violence, but I wouldn't have mind seeing it. So, at the sit in, she tells the officer to go get her chair and then says, now kiss off, pig. And then finally, she says this. I think we should get a bunch of those big hairy men that work the cafeteria line. Here's what you were talking about at Leisure Land and trash the joint. Just relax, Bernice. Just calm down. No way, Jose. I'm m. Head up and ready to rumble. I'm a mother hen and you're my chick. When you're picking on my chick, you're pecking on the wrong side of me. And you mentioned that line already, but you know what? So good, we'll give it twice.
She's a girl's girl. She's an Anthony's girl. Like, she looks out for her people.
She does. And I don't think, when you're picking on my chick, you're pecking on the wrong side of me. I don't think that even really hit all the way until you said it earlier. It's a really good line.
Yeah.
Kind of want that on a T shirt. So, anyways.
Are you ready for our new segment, Technology Takedown
All right, well, that's the last one that I have.
Are you ready for our new segment?
It's new every time.
Technology Takedown. Is this your first time hearing it?
Yes. Because you didn't actually have it when we did our first recording.
Yep, that's right. Technology Takedown.
So good. I thought I was about to hear Digital Get Down.
Oh, man, that would have been good. Well, we gotta have a digital get down. Well, 10 seconds. 10 seconds are left. We're safe.
There you go. That's true.
Nikki: It would be a delightful TV show about aging
So this week, in our. It's becoming tradition now for us to not do technology takedown as it was originally intended. This week, we're going to. Instead of think about what plot lines could be reimagined in the digital era, we're going to think about what it would be like to live in an alternate Designing Women's spin off, all focused on Bernice.
Yes. The dream. The dream, Nikki.
It would be a delightful TV show. I really do feel like.
Yes.
So I think I'd call mine Bernice Loose at Leisure Land.
Okay. I didn't come up with a name. That's.
Okay.
Okay, okay. I'm sorry.
That might be the only good thing I bring to the table in this one. I don't know. Let's see. So in my spin off, we'd refocus on Bernice at Hillcrest Leisureland, where she's the ringleader of a group of equally eccentric residents. So, this crazy crew of mischief makers are constantly getting into mischief. they wait until, you know, wait till Leisureland staff go to sleep, for instance, and then they escape for midnight adventures. Like, is it a midnight viewing of an earnest movie? I don't know. Maybe it's a, synchronized scooter race out in the hallway.
Okay.
Something crazy. I think it would give us, like, physical comedy, but also it would be like, some. Because they're elderly people, there's going to be some heartfelt stuff in there.
Totally. And I had. I will go ahead and say right now I had the same thought that it was like, this feels like such an obvious thing to have a TV show about, because, one, we have an aging population.
Sure.
Like the. Not us boomers. So young boomers are like, they're in this, you know, especially, like, the. Further into the boomer generation that you are. So. And they love a three cam sitcom.
Yeah.
So this is all, like. So it's also a good time to talk about. I mean, there are serious issues around aging. and this is absolutely a great time time to do that so they.
Can talk about those serious issues and then still leverage this part of Bernice that reminds them that, like, getting old doesn't mean you have to be old.
STIs in nursing homes.
Oh, it's a thing.
It's a thing.
So I've heard.
That's what I've heard.
So I also definitely think we'd get some Designing Women cameos. I think if a. If a spin off had happened, enough time would have passed that, Delta Burke might even come on as a cameo of Suzanne. but Anthony would be there pretty consistently, I think.
I think that's right. Yeah.
I'm pretty sure we'd also see Julia.
A time or two on that note, because I also have something similar for mine. One thing I thought that would be really funny is like, when they're. Even when they're not there. She would recount stories about sugar bakers, but they'd always be really off.
Ever so slightly off.
Yes. And like, and I don't know what that looks like. I didn't come up with an example. But you. You get what I'm saying for sure.
Like in, you know, the episodes. Gosh, I never remember the title, but Mary Jo and Julia being stuck under a bed in Bernice's version, like they loved her. Yes, yes. And she had to sleep with the,
Chuck Tremaine.
Chuck Tremaine. Oh, Chuck.
The name on that. Oh, Chuck.
She thinks maybe she slept with him. She's not sure.
I don't even want to wear Chucks after that episode.
I love that idea.
I think that would be so much fun.
We're bringing back Ms. Chesley from season five, episode seven
did you have anything else I.
Want to hear about your version?
So I think we're very much. I did. The midnight thing is new. I like that, I like that. But like, we're on a very similar trajectory. I had like Bernice's posse or whatever. We're going to bring back Ms. Chesley from season five, episode seven. Yeah. So if you don't. If you're. If maybe just in case you don't remember, this is Old Rebels and Young Models where Julia returns Mrs. Chesley to Mary Jo after she says that her mop smells. so I'm. I want that energy in this posse.
Yes, yes.
and I want, I want her yelling at someone about having her spot on the couch.
On the couch.
You know, don't mess with Jake and the fat man. That's her favorite time of night. She wants a scotch. Neat. I don't really remember what the drink is, but it is something similar, you know? I want her in the mix. We need that kind of attitude, you know?
Yeah. She'd be a good foil to Bernice.
Totally.
Bernice is just wackadoo and freewheeling and Mrs. M. Muscle knows how she wants her stuff done.
Yes.
And so like, wait, which one's the muscle? Bernice or Mrs. Chesley?
Well, I guess really could be either, depending on the time.
It just. It's their, their means for muscling that might be different.
I want another pageant or talent show episode. We just need it
Well, this is a natural segue into this, which is, like, all these shenanigans could really be endless. But they could do, like, a prison spoof episode where she starts a crime ring dealing in, like, pudding cups. Depends. And crosswords or something, you know? or I'm calling these, like, second helpings from the Designing Women days. But, like, they could do a version where they help someone break out. It's similar to the one with the Mary Jo and the Runaways or whatever, but, like. Or old model. That's what we called it. but similar to that idea. But, with Bernice, really in the midst of all of that, and we.
Get to see the chaos that went down that we only really kind of heard about.
Yes. And I want another pageant or talent show episode.
Oh, that would be good.
Like, what we got? I'm spinning. I'm moving around like nothing is wrong in the world or whatever it was. It's also exactly the way that I turn around in a pageant. So, yeah, I think we're on to something.
I. I think that would be a show I would watch a lot.
Yeah, a lot. We just need it.
We just need it.
Are we ready to rate the sucker? Sure. So my rating scale is free associations with Bernice
Are we ready to rate the sucker?
Sure.
And by the sucker, I mean Bernice. Is she up? Is she down? What's your.
So my rating scale is free associations with Bernice. that's a throwback. Anthony said that in the opening of A Little Night Music, I think Julia walks in and, like, what's going on? He goes, we're just listening to Bernice pre associate, which is just what conversations with her feel like. So I love that. I went five out of five. But honestly, like, I would give this woman 10. She brought so much joy to this season. So many bright spots.
When's the last time that we've been this on the same page? I have 10 out of 5 bad 1750 mai tais, which also, in reviewing my notes, I was like, 1750. Did I actually look this up? That's very expensive for 1992. And then I was like, oh, okay. I'm not going to come up with a number that specific. So that has to be straight from.
The script, straight from Bernice's mouth.
So I just want to say that I think Bernice is having a fantastic season. She's always up. The lady has lived a life. We have a lot that we can learn from her. She shares her wisdom, with those closest to her. And literally, I just have no notes. It is sheer perfection, and I only.
Want more, even when she's being mean. As long as I'm not the one she's being mean to.
I would let her be mean to me. I've let many other people be mean.
To me if it meant I got go watch an Ernest movie in the theaters or I would love to go to a monster truck rally. So with her, sure, I. I would go at all, but with her, it would be delightful in a different kind of way.
Yeah, you. I would go to the Earnest movie.
Okay.
I did. I actually loved Ernest when I was little. I really did.
I'm trying to remember.
I've seen all of them.
What's the other one?
So Ernest scares. There's Ernest Saves Christmas.
Ernest Saves Christmas. I remember that one. I'm trying to think of the main one we used to watch.
Ernest Goes to School. No, Ernest Goes to Camp.
Ernest Goes to Camp.
That's the first one.
Oh, yes.
Yes. Man, these went. Ernest Goes to Africa.
I didn't see that.
Can't say I saw that one. That was 97. I was out of my Earnest days by then. I was 12, so I was firmly.
In my, Ace Ventura days by then, I think.
Yes. A different kind of. The same kind of comedy.
Correct. Yep. I didn't say I grew up. I just grew out of Earnest. So are we ready for our next episode?
I think we're ready.
So we're going to talk about Anthony in our next main episode. As always, we'd love everyone to follow along with us and engage Instagram and Facebook at Sweet Tea and TV. We're on TikTok at Sweet Tea TV Pod. You can find us on YouTube. You can email us Sweet Tea tvpodmail.com and our website is www.sweet tea tv.com. there are lots of ways to support the show. You can tell your family and friends about us, rate or review the podcast, wherever you listen, and then you can visit the Support us page, on our website for more. And come back Thursday for an extra sugar. About the kookiest TV characters of all time. In honor of Bernice, who might be one of the kookiest TV characters of all time.
Yes. God love her. All right, well, you know what that means, Nikki?
What does it mean, Salina?
It means we'll see you around the bend.
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